Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 05/28/2017

Fear

I’ve made a tacit agreement with myself that, when I feel afraid to do something, I will simply stay the course and do it. I have come to realize that allowing fear too make my decisions for me is more dangerous than doing otherwise.

In essence, it’s no different than the exhortation not to make a decision when you’re angry. In both cases, the mind is clouded and it’s impossible to see clearly. A perfect parable to describe this occurs to me as I drove yesterday from NYC to Western New York to visit my father.

As you criss through New Jersey, you inevitably pass through dozens of underpasses and tunnels. During the day, the contrast between blinding light and shadows in conjunction with narrow roadways can make driving somewhat hair raising. My first instinct is always to pull away from the wall when I plunge into darkness and can’t see anything fit a few seconds while my eyes adjust but I know better. To do so what rush slamming into the car just inches away from me in the next lane or the equally close concrete barrier on my other side.

In this situation the best thing to do is to stay the course. No sudden decisions based on fear. Just keep my hands on the wheel and resist the impulse to pull it left or right.

And so it is with life. I was filled with trepidation about driving up here to spend time with my father but I knew that anxiety and fear can’t be trusted so I stayed the course and stick with a resolve made in a moment of kindness and concern.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Theravada | Tags: Anxiety, dad, father, fear, filial piety

Posted by: Michael | 05/26/2017

May I Abandon Sexual Desire

There may be some issues with the phrasing but the title of the post really represents one of my core goals for this lifetime. Over the past several months, as my relationship with my wife has deteriorated, it’s become clearer and clearer that my only hope of ever lifting myself out of the morass of samsara is to abandon the pursuit of pleasure through sex. In fact, simply the idea of relinquishing sex has allowed me to reframe my relationship with my wife and see her in a different light. Rather than wrongly view her as a partner who is failing to uphold her end of the bargain of marriage, I have been able to see her more clearly as a fellow wanderer in need of help and who suffers just as I do. I can at least conceive of behaving in a way that helps to put her in better stead for the future if she chooses to divorce me or separate.

It should go without saying that things are much more messy in my interactions with her but at least they can now be informed by an alternate and more noble perspective. May we overcome greed and attain to the stream in this lifetime.

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Posted in brahmacariya, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: chastity, marriage, sex, stream entry, wife

Posted by: Michael | 05/25/2017

Invocazione di Diana

Dolce Diana, ascolta la mia preghiera e fai che la mia voce giunga fino a te.
Madre dolcissima,

Guidami nel tuo nome,

Tu cui nulla e’ impossibile,

liberami dalle tenebre della mia ignoranza

e fai che io continui rinfrancato nel mio cammino.

Illuminami con la scintilla della tua infinita sapienza,

allontana dal mio cuore l’avidità, l’ozio, l’iniquità

e concedimi un saggio consiglio, un cuore sottile e penetrante

per acquisire e comprendere l’Arte dell’Antica Religione.

Dammi la capacità di udire e la memoria per tenere,

in modo che io possa realizzare la mia volontà

e comprendere ed imparare le scienze invisibili

e quelle visibili, in modo che io possa andare avanti

e pronunciare con pazienza e umiltà le mie parole

per istruire gli altri come Tu mi hai insegnato.

Tu cui nulla è nascosto e cui nulla è impossibile,

concedimi di essere ricettacolo della tua Grazia,

in modo che attraverso essa io possa avere piena conoscenza di Te.

E che gli Spiriti possano rivelarsi qui alla mia presenza,

e che quelli che sono cortesi e pacifici possano venire a me,

e possano essere obbedienti ai miei comandi attraverso di Te,

o Madre celeste, il cui Regno è eterno.

E sia così!

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Posted in Daily Practice, Devata, Dhamma, religio romana | Tags: Artemide, dea, Diana

Posted by: Michael | 05/24/2017

Diana, Goddess of Chastity

Modern Diana of Ephesus 10

I’m still doing my best to practice brahmacariya and a part of that has been to find sources of inspiration to stay on that path of practice. For whatever reason, I don’t find a lot of helpful from Theravadin sources which seem to take brahmacariya as a given after a certain point. So, I have been reading Hindu and Jain treatises as well as listening to Dhamma talks that point to the cultivation of wisdom as the ultimate way to root out defilement.

Perhaps because I have a belief in the reality of devas and unseen beings, I decided also to do and research into the gods top find out which was seen as the patron or patroness of chastity. Diana was the first to come up and her Roman origins immediately spoke to me. Both in this life and possibly in others before (according to a pay life psychic I met in my teens) Roman custom and beliefs have played a formative role. Diana, Goddess of the hunt and the wilds is also devoted to chastity and virginity. In addition, she is said to take special interest in the poor, vulnerable and pregnant women. She’s literally like a Roman Ksitigarbha.

All of this is to say that I’m interested to see if and how propitiating her help in my determination to practice brahmacariya might help. If it does, that’s great. If nothing happens, at least I’ve learned something more.

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Posted in brahmacariya, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sensual Desire, Sila, Theravada | Tags: Artemide, chastity, Diana, religio romana

Posted by: Michael | 05/23/2017

Speak Not Harshly

Māvoca pharusaṃ kañci,vuttā paṭivadeyyu taṃ.

Dukkhā hi sārambhakathā,

paṭidaṇḍā phuseyyu taṃ.

Listen: http://host.pariyatti.org/dwob/dhammapada_10_133.mp3
Speak not harshly to anyone,

for those thus spoken to might retort.

Indeed, angry speech hurts,

and retaliation may overtake you.

Dhammapada 10.133

http://tipitaka.org/romn/cscd/s0502m.mul9.xml#para133

The Dhammapada: The Buddha’s Path of Wisdom, translated from the Pali by Acharya Buddharakkhita

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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: harsh Speech, right speech

Posted by: Michael | 05/22/2017

Be Surprised

This weekend was rough. My wife seems to be beyond reach and my spiritual power was waning so I had a hard time keeping it together and refraining from speaking unskillfully. But, I was able to stumble to the finish line and cultivate acceptance and forgiveness before bed and recommit myself to the life or death work of overcoming my own aversion.

This morning I felt somewhat stronger and had been able to recall to send metta to get throughout the night when I would bob up into consciousness. But whatever the reason, I felt ready to engage in the mortal battle with my defilements once more. I decided to ask my wife if she could pick the kids up side her schedule had cleared so I could do more at work. I was almost 100 percent certain she would say no and my mind was already spinning scenarios in which she was mean and selfish. But, guess what? I was wrong.

I was surprised buy more than anything else now I feel that I unfairly presumed age would say no while judging her harshly. May I now be grateful for her kindness and check my mind before I allow it to entertain such judgemental thoughts towards anyone.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: aversion, judgement, marriage, presumption

Posted by: Michael | 05/19/2017

With My People

No, not under the vault of alien skies,

And not under the shelter of alien wings—

I was with my people then,

There, where my people, unfortunately, were.

Anna Akhmatova

As the ice caps melt furiously and tin pot dictators rule the world with lies and violence, may I practice the way of compassion and wisdom.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Islam, Karuna, Theravada, Tibetan Buddhism, Zen | Tags: compassion, People, solidarity, wisdom

Posted by: Michael | 05/17/2017

Finding the Feeling

The past few days I’ve been having some problems connecting to a feeling of loving-kindness in my practice. Normally I begin with myself but doing so failed to elicit any emotional response. I recalled that the point is to find the feeling and then expand upon it so I turned to my youngest daughter and I suddenly felt a warmth where there was a dull numbness before.

Learning not too be so rigid and to be willing to experiment has been a constant struggle for me but has been so very worth it. I am always inclined just to power through anything but such persistence in absence of wisdom didn’t produce many good results. May I have the clarity of vision and wisdom to see the point of the practice and find the methods to achieve it.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, pañña, Theravada | Tags: clarity, determination, rigid, wisdom

Posted by: Michael | 05/16/2017

My Own Sword

45 In brief, when calamities befall me like bolts of lightning,

It is the weapon of destructive karma returning upon me Just like the ironsmith slain by his own sword;

From now on I will be heedful of nonvirtuous acts.

May I reflect on the infinite acts of kindness showered upon me by mothers, fathers, friends, relatives and strangers from time without beginning. May I never dwell upon the hurt but turn my gaze to the help I have received in this and all past lives.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Lojong, Tibetan Buddhism | Tags: kamma, karma, virtue, wheel of sharp weapons

Posted by: Michael | 05/15/2017

Ingratitude

Image result for yamantaka

44 When all the good I have done turns out badly,
It is the weapon of destructive karma returning upon me
For repaying others’ kindness with ingratitude;
From now on I will respectfully repay others’ kindness.

I’m learning a lot about gratitude, concern and kamma thanks to my marriage. One of the things that has consistently come up in our counseling sessions and discussions is the fact that I have acted insensitively in the past. I have forgotten Valentine’s Days and other occasions outright or have not made an effort that my wife thought was commensurate with the occasion. I like to think that I have been better at this in the past few years but that is a point of contention.

As a result, I made sure to make a big deal out if mother’s day this year. Flowers and chocolates were delivered. I had the kids make cards and gifts. I made breakfast and dinner and kept the kids out of her way all day. And her lack of response, her grudging acceptance really hurt. No hug. No kiss. Just a perfunctory thanks.

In that moment I wasn’t sure what to do so I had to take a minute to clear my head but I soon realized a few things:

This is the result of all of my insensitivity in this and past lives. This is my kamma.
Generosity and acts of care shouldn’t be about receiving thanks, they are sufficient on their own when done well.
My wife is giving me the gift of patience and forbearance and the opportunity to approach the suffering with wisdom.

So, rather than being resentful and determining never to make an occasion out of mother’s day and days like it again, I will take this as a deep lesson about dana parami.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dana, Dhamma, Parami, Theravada | Tags: generosity, giving, mother's day, wife