Cattāri Brahmavihārā

This weekend was rough. My wife seems to be beyond reach and my spiritual power was waning so I had a hard time keeping it together and refraining from speaking unskillfully. But, I was able to stumble to the finish line and cultivate acceptance and forgiveness before bed and recommit myself to the life or death work of overcoming my own aversion. 

This morning I felt somewhat stronger and had been able to recall to send metta to get throughout the night when I would bob up into consciousness. But whatever the reason, I felt ready to engage in the mortal battle with my defilements once more. I decided to ask my wife if she could pick the kids up side her schedule had cleared so I could do more at work. I was almost 100 percent certain she would say no and my mind was already spinning scenarios in which she was mean and selfish. But, guess what? I was wrong. 

I was surprised buy more than anything else now I feel that I unfairly presumed age would say no while judging her harshly. May I now be grateful for her kindness and check my mind before I allow it to entertain such judgemental thoughts towards anyone.