Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I’ve made a tacit agreement with myself that, when I feel afraid to do something, I will simply stay the course and do it. I have come to realize that allowing fear too make my decisions for me is more dangerous than doing otherwise. 

In essence, it’s no different than the exhortation not to make a decision when you’re angry. In both cases, the mind is clouded and it’s impossible to see clearly. A perfect parable to describe this occurs to me as I drove yesterday from NYC to Western New York to visit my father. 

As you criss through New Jersey, you inevitably pass through dozens of underpasses and tunnels. During the day, the contrast between blinding light and shadows in conjunction with narrow roadways can make driving somewhat hair raising. My first instinct is always to pull away from the wall when I plunge into darkness and can’t see anything fit a few seconds while my eyes adjust but I know better. To do so what rush slamming into the car just inches away from me in the next lane or the equally close concrete barrier on my other side. 

In this situation the best thing to do is to stay the course. No sudden decisions based on fear. Just keep my hands on the wheel and resist the impulse to pull it left or right. 

And so it is with life. I was filled with trepidation about driving up here to spend time with my father but I knew that anxiety and fear can’t be trusted so I stayed the course and stick with a resolve made in a moment of kindness and concern.