Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 07/02/2013

Minor Victories

Yesterday was the uposatha and I ended up spending almost the entire day (from 8am to 10:30pm) at work. I, of course, felt in many ways that I had failed in my observance and did, in fact, end up sleeping in the family bed rather than on the floor. Still, I feel that I was able to maintain a certain heedfulness throughout it all which was due solely to the idea of observing the eight precepts. In essence, it was a day filled with as many minor failures as it was with minor victories.

One thing to which my attention constantly turned was my habitual, negative tendencies as they manifest themselves in my speech and thought. There were many occasions when I caught myself on the verge of complaining, finding fault with or commiserating with my partner but was able to put the proverbial sock in it before it was able to go too far. Minor victories to be sure but victories nonetheless and in the war to purify our conduct every battle counts.

May we be relentless in the pursuit of purity

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Restlessness and Remorse, Sammā Vācā, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: heedfulness, purity, right speech, samma vaca, uposatha, work

Posted by: Michael | 07/01/2013

Happy Uposatha – Guarding the Mind

I have been experiencing quite a lot of shame and guilt of late when I allow my mind to wander into unskillful patterns of thought let alone when I actually speak or act on the same. Part of me feels that I shouldn’t feel shame for simply indulging in thoughts based on sensuality or ill-will and that I should simply dissimulate and feign complete indifference yet isn’t a strong sense of shame and moral dread one of the keys to the path?

I really believe that much of the conditioning I have had to “let go” of my inhibitions is a result of our culture’s misapprehension of the role of shame and moral dread. Perhaps it’s a legacy of the iconclasm and free love of the 60s but, as Ven. Thanissaro Bhikkhu has pointed out, it is not a freedom from desire but a freedom of desire to do with us as it pleases that is advocated by pop cultural ideas of authenticity and truth.

So, what does this mean for me? Perhaps simply that when. I think, speak or act in a way about which I later feel ashamed or sullied that I should pay heed and not simply try to erase the discomfort. This is kamma and it cannot be avoided and, if we are to take the Rahulovada sutta at its words, this is the practice. If we fail to be mindful of which actions produce suffering and which conduce to ease then how will we ever develop the skill to break free?

May our shame and fear of wrong-doing protect us and lead us ever forward to freedom!

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Posted in Aditthana, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: feaqr, hiri-ottappa, moral dread, shame, uposatha

Posted by: Michael | 06/30/2013

Cheerfulness or Something Like It

My wife commented ruefully how it seems that I am never happy and do not enjoy myself in life and, sadly, I can’t say that I imagine myself as a particularly happy-go-lucky type of guy nor do I enjoy things that come naturally to almost every one I know. Now I could easily paint this in a favorable light and imply that because I don’t listen to music, watch sports or movies and am generally disinterested in all things not Dhamma I am leaps and bounds ahead of my contemporaries but not only is that immodest it also strikes me as somehow insincere; these are things I have given up for my own happiness and quite willingly, with almost no effort. The part that troubles me and which I think she is pointing out is the fact that I can be at times exhausted by the demands of my children and irritated by the exigencies and pettiness of householder life. It is this, coupled with my very real inability to conjure up excitement about a day spent in the park or watching a movie with my family that leaves me feeling as if I’m doing it wrong.

What is perhaps even more interesting about my wife’s comment today was the fact that just this morning (before her observation) I read and was moved by an article about Buddhism and taking up an attitude of cheerfulness. In essence, the article was encouraging us to view cheerfulness as a fabrication we could use to help us put some space between ourselves and our present circumstance as well as a facet of brahma vihara practice. All of these are great aims and I certainly would like to put them into practice bbut how to do so? I have so many times in the past attempted to curb my negativity and sarcasm and have repeatedly met with failure but it really does seem that an attitude of cheerfulness or a reasonable facsimile thereof is what is required.

So, in the spirit of perseverance, I make the aditthana to embody a cheerful attitude and to practice Right Speech by not complaining or engaging in negative verbal acts. If you’re interested you may find it here: http://www.buddhistchannel.tv/index.php?id=7,7542,0,0,1,0#.UdCEDvkm03Q

May we meet our lives with cheerfulness and strive ever onward towards purity!

MANTRA can change me! (tsemtulku.com)
Zen Druidry (philipcarrgomm.wordpress.com)
Tom and Dhamma (badlamaguide.wordpress.com)
On the Path to Non-Attachment (passingthru.com)
Vesak – Buddhism and the United Nations International Celebration of Human Spirituality (mangosalute.com)

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Posted in Aditthana, Buddha, Buddhism, Cheerfulness, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Buddhism, Dharma, Happiness, Noble Eightfold Path, Pro Wrestling, Religion and Spirituality, Sports, WWE Games

Posted by: Michael | 06/28/2013

Burdening Oneself

This morning is a perfect example of a pattern that seems to repeat itself time and again in my life: my wife woke up in a bad mood (or, alternatively, I had failed to execute her wishes for the morning routine prior to leaving for work) and each minute that she was awake was filled with commands, demands and recriminations. I think I did a relatively good job at keeping my reactivity and anger check although I must admit to grumbling throughout and even, at one point, expressing my displeasure that our mornings have to be like this (in those exact words).

So, why is it that I feel bad about it? Why do I feel as if I have done something wrong? I think part of it is that I believe that I should be able to remain equanimous in the face of it all and that anything less than the response of a saint is blame worthy (and, in a certain way it is). Still, what is it that I expect? I think that a more skillful way for me to approach such situations would be to restrain myself and prevent bad speech and bodily actions and not expect to be able to remain untouched by the storm emotionally. In others it is okay if I do not possess the imperturbability of a saint but my speech and deeds should be in line with the Dhamma even if my mind is not. Furthermore, I should congratulate myself for the small victories such as holding my tongue in order to strenggthen such forbearance in the future.

May we all have the strength to endure insults and injury and clear the path to the Dhamma!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Blame, enduran, equanimity, forebearance, patience

Posted by: Michael | 06/27/2013

Reminders

I think the single, greatest stumbling block to maintaining mindfulness of the breath throughout the day is simply remembering to do it all. I have tried, for some time, to use an hourly reminder on my phone but this has not proven to be very effective. It seems to me that frequently repeared actions such as getting up from a seat or opening a door would better serve to remind me to return to the breath than an hourly chime. With that in mind, I am going to try to experiment with using the following as reminders to return to the breath (if only I can remember to do so):

-Getting up from a seat
-Sitting down
-Laying down
-Getting up
-Walking through a door
-Walking up or down stairs
-Before speakiing

I think this is a good list to start with and addresses the four postures of the body although I still need to consider what events I can use as mnemonics while I am seated for long periods at my desk.

The last event, “before speaing,” is a last minute entry and it is something I have tried before with limited success but could save my life if I can manage to do it. I think, with that addition, I will have plenty to work with so I will stop there. I think the one thing I need to remember is that it is truly enjoyable and refreshing to turn to the breath rather than be drawn and quatered by an unending procession of thoughts.

May our daily lives become fields of merit and liberation!

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Posted in Aditthana, Anapanasati, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, Anapanasati, daily life, Dhamma, meditation, reminders

Posted by: Michael | 06/26/2013

Breath in Mind

In the group with whom I practice, one of the key instructions is to keep the breath in mind throughout our days in order to have a refuge to which we can go when needed and to strengthen our mindfulness and concentration (at least, that is how I understand it).

My point here is basically this: for as many years as I have been practicing with this lineage I have never really been willing or able to keep the breath in mind throughout the course of my day. When I stop to consider the reasons whhy this may be so I think it all comes down to doubt; doubt in my ability, doubt in the instructions and doubt about the goal of the technique. So, over the years I have tried to devote more and more time to formal seated meditation and, although the results have been great they have not really carried over into my life OTC (off the cushion).

The situation of late has completely spiralled out of control and I have only now been able to appreciate the solace, sense of spaciousness and clarity that mindfulness of the breathing is able to bring to bear on all the various and subdry states that pass through. So, I make the aditthana to cultivate the breath as continuously as possible during my waking moments as a means of refuge and a path to release from bondage.

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Posted in Aditthana, Anapanasati, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, Anapanasati, Buddhism, daily practice, meditation, mindfulness, natural meditation, practoce at work

Posted by: Michael | 06/25/2013

Carry On

I have just set up for the beginners’ meditation class and am stealing my first moment of the day to check in here. Today has been a whirlwind of work-elated tasks from signing a new lease, hiring more staff to simply picking and packing products to get them out the door. And, a train and twenty minutes later I find myself here hardly feeling in the fight mind state but committed to carry on nonetheless.

May we all find the refuge of the Dhamma even in the midst of our seemingly incorrigible daily lives.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dana, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: daily life, samsara, work

Posted by: Michael | 06/24/2013

Restlessness and Worry

I feel as if I’m repeating myself a lot lately but I have pretty much decided that I will only write from my experience and past kamma has a large role in forming that for me. So, it seems that restlessness and worry are the nivarana du jour as it has been at least a month, if not longer, that my sittings have been plagued by this particular hindrance. No longer am I visited by sloth and torpor during my morning sessions but I am, instead, dragged constantly away from my breath by my worldly preoccupations. And, to tell the truth, my thinking is almost completely invovled with work. And it doesn’t seem to matter just how long I spend in meditation because I seem to be equally capable of thinking about work for 35 minutes or 50.

So, what to do? Obviously, the most fundamental thing to do is to keep at it but I feel that speaking with my teacher and making time for a retreat (even a daylong) would help immensely. Other things I have tried with some success are using a mala in conjunction with a meditation word (mine happens to be “metta”) to calm the mind down but if I don’t move into the breath more deeply I end up losing my way with this after a time as well. In essence it may be best simply to view this as another season of the practice and cultivate what equanimity I can towards it.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada | Tags: Dhamma, hindrance, meditation, nivarana, restlessness and remorse

Posted by: Michael | 06/23/2013

Reproval

I am in a strange head space at the moment due to a surprise and (in the moment at least) undeserved reproval from my mother-in-law when I asked my sister-in-law to follow up on a subject of conversation of which I had been ignorant. I apologize for not divulging details but I don’t wish to divulge private details and the particulars of what led up to the situation are truly accidental to the post. What I want to concentrate on is my own reaction to the chastisement.

Initially I was hurt by the way in which I was reproved and it was actually so unexpected that a number of other people around the table asked if she were serious. Nonetheless, I reeled for some time and fomented a bit before I was able to get a handle on it and begin to apply Right Effort. I realized that, in the past I have been publically critical of my sister-in-law’s plans and decisions and due to the severity of the situation I think her mom was simply trying to protect her from what she assumed was more of the same. How is she to know that I have redoubled my efforts to practice samma vaca?

So, you see, nothing happens without a cause and although I feel hurt there is no reason for me to worsen the situation. In fact, I should take this as a lesson in not involving myself in others’ business as nothing good seems to come out of it. Rather than seeking to give advice I will try simply to listen in the future.

May we listen with open hearts to the trials and tribulations of others and not attempt to fix their lives for them.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Karuna, Metta, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: chstisement, hurt, kamma, karuna, reproval, samma vaca

Posted by: Michael | 06/22/2013

Anicca vata sankhara…

…Impermanent are all conditioned things. So it is that the gripping fear that seemed to be as solid and heavy as a mountain has lessened and transformed into something new and less oppressive. I have said it many times before but my ability to forget (or, inability to remember) the truth of the Dhamma and to get completely swept away by the flood of delusion is something which always astounds me. It’s hard to believe that I can be so easily duped time and again by the same tricks of Mara but if this blog shows anything it’s that I am not nearly as sophisticated as I would like to believe.

So, where am I now? Encumbered as I am by anxiety and worry I can at least count on my faith in kamma and try as ever to limp towards goodness and purity. I have been feeling particularly low of late but can yet see that these afflictive states are as if storm clouds passing through. This I am not. This is not me. This is not myself.

May we all find freedom from suffering in the dispensation of the Lord Buddha!