Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I am in a strange head space at the moment due to a surprise and (in the moment at least) undeserved reproval from my mother-in-law when I asked my sister-in-law to follow up on a subject of conversation of which I had been ignorant. I apologize for not divulging details but I don’t wish to divulge private details and the particulars of what led up to the situation are truly accidental to the post. What I want to concentrate on is my own reaction to the chastisement.

Initially I was hurt by the way in which I was reproved and it was actually so unexpected that a number of other people around the table asked if she were serious. Nonetheless, I reeled for some time and fomented a bit before I was able to get a handle on it and begin to apply Right Effort. I realized that, in the past I have been publically critical of my sister-in-law’s plans and decisions and due to the severity of the situation I think her mom was simply trying to protect her from what she assumed was more of the same. How is she to know that I have redoubled my efforts to practice samma vaca?

So, you see, nothing happens without a cause and although I feel hurt there is no reason for me to worsen the situation. In fact, I should take this as a lesson in not involving myself in others’ business as nothing good seems to come out of it. Rather than seeking to give advice I will try simply to listen in the future.

May we listen with open hearts to the trials and tribulations of others and not attempt to fix their lives for them.