Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 06/23/2013

Reproval

I am in a strange head space at the moment due to a surprise and (in the moment at least) undeserved reproval from my mother-in-law when I asked my sister-in-law to follow up on a subject of conversation of which I had been ignorant. I apologize for not divulging details but I don’t wish to divulge private details and the particulars of what led up to the situation are truly accidental to the post. What I want to concentrate on is my own reaction to the chastisement.

Initially I was hurt by the way in which I was reproved and it was actually so unexpected that a number of other people around the table asked if she were serious. Nonetheless, I reeled for some time and fomented a bit before I was able to get a handle on it and begin to apply Right Effort. I realized that, in the past I have been publically critical of my sister-in-law’s plans and decisions and due to the severity of the situation I think her mom was simply trying to protect her from what she assumed was more of the same. How is she to know that I have redoubled my efforts to practice samma vaca?

So, you see, nothing happens without a cause and although I feel hurt there is no reason for me to worsen the situation. In fact, I should take this as a lesson in not involving myself in others’ business as nothing good seems to come out of it. Rather than seeking to give advice I will try simply to listen in the future.

May we listen with open hearts to the trials and tribulations of others and not attempt to fix their lives for them.


Responses

  1. you are really great example for all of us in reflecting and in showing, what a humble step by step way it is to “clean the Mirror”…..only a beautiful mind and heart can do…wish you and family a happy and peacefull Poson Poya.
    Theruwansaranai

  2. Listening seems to be your current requirement. Moi aussi–I, unfortunately, go ahead and finish Billy’s statements rather than waiting for him. Not exactly the same, but I’m always in a hurry, and always sure that I know what someone else is saying or doing.


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