Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 01/17/2014

Fading and Waiting

Slowly the shock of circumstance is fading as I become more familiar with the shapes and forms of the new landscape into which I have been reborn. Slowly my formal practice has been returning and yet I feel as weak and fragile as an autumn leaf. It is as if I am just waiting for that first, strong gale to finish me off. So, where am I? What am I doing? How am I using my precious time?

Sadly, most of my waking hours are spent plugging holes and pumping water while I look for ways to make myself a more attractive commodity on the market. It is exhausting and is no doubt sapping me of strength and joy but the alternatives seem to me to be no less than failing my family.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Dukkha, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: Dhamma, Dukkha, family, money, work

Posted by: Michael | 01/16/2014

Alarms

My alarm failed to go off on two occasions this morning. Such an innocent thing but in the world I have come to create it means that my productivity for the day has been reduced by two hours and my formal practice fell to the wayside. And yet there is an almost immediate sense of rebellion at this idea of lost productivity and there is something that surely feels inhumane to regard oneself as little more that a faulty lever to be pulled or a gear with broken teeth.

Where is the middle? Where to find escape here?

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: daily life, Dukkha, work

Posted by: Michael | 01/15/2014

Buddha Vacana – Precepts

15. What sort of Dhamma practice leads to great good for oneself? Concerning this, the noble disciple reflects: “Here am I, fond of life, not wishing to die, fond of pleasure and averse to pain. If someone were to kill me, I would not like it. Likewise, if I were to kill someone they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden someone with that?”
As a result of such reflection one abstains from killing, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.

Again, the noble disciple reflects: “If someone were to steal what was mine. I would not like that. Likewise, if I were to steal what belonged to someone else they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden someone with that?”
As a result of such reflection he abstains from stealing, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.

Again, the noble disciple reflects: “If someone were to have intercourse with my spouse. I would not like it. Likewise, if I were to have intercourse with another’s spouse they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden someone with that?”
As a result of such reflection one abstains from wrong sensual desire, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.

Once again, the noble disciple reflects: “If someone were to ruin my benefit by lying I would not like it. Likewise, if I were to ruin someone else’s benefit by lying they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden someone like that?”
As a result of such reflection one abstains from lying, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.

A noble disciple reflects further: “If someone were to estrange me from my friends by slander, speak harshly to me or distract me with pointless, frivolous chatter I would not like it. Likewise, if I were to do this to another they would not like that. For what is unpleasant to me must be unpleasant to another and how could I burden another with that?”
As a result of such reflection one abstains from slander, harsh speech and pointless chatter, encourages others to abstain from it and speaks in praise of such abstaining.

Samyutta Nikaya V.34

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: buddha vacana, precepts, sila

Posted by: Michael | 01/14/2014

Support

Despite the fact that the situation has not changed appreciably in any way I have been comforted by the support and concern of those of you here and in my daily life. The sense of estrangement from our loved ones and communities is perhaps the worst result of our technocentric lifestyles and has lead me time and again to live as if I were in a hermetically sealed bubble wherein connection and sharing are all but impossible. Thank you to those of you who remind me that this is not so. Thank you to all of my aunts and uncles, brothers and sisters in samsara for reminding me that dukkha is our common birthright and bond. May all beings be free from suffering!

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Posted in Anatta, Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Theravada | Tags: anicca, community, Dukkha, support

Posted by: Michael | 01/14/2014

The Burden of Worry

This lst week has been especially brutal and I have spent most of my time working like a maniac in order to improve the fortunes of the company. At the same time I am also trying to fashion some kind of escape route to put myself in better stead when the company is no longer a tenable option. Still, so much of this is nothing much more than an imagining of these that may or may not be. What is real and what is now are the cold, sharp pangs in my gut; the icy claws of panic raking down my back and the shortness of breath I experience when I am pulled hither into the nightmare future of destitution. Is it wrong? Certainly but the future may be a hundred times better or a thousand times worse-how is one to know. but, what is certain is that it will change. Anicca vata sankhara.

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: anicca, Dukkha

Posted by: Michael | 01/12/2014

Buddha Vacana ~ Sharing verses for Jan 12, 2014

12. Just as the great ocean has one taste, the taste of salt, even so, this Dhamma has one taste too, the taste of freedom.

Udana 56

Shared via Buddha Vacana for Android
http://www.buddhavacana.net

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: buddha vacana

Posted by: Michael | 01/12/2014

Making Plans

It is strange to realize that the place that cares you somuch is where you have always already been. What has changed? What is different? Nothing except the wool has now been pulled from my eyes.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada

Posted by: Michael | 01/11/2014

The Clarity of Dukkha

One thing that has become abundantly clear to me during these days and months is just how pervasive dukkha really is. I feel that, in some ways, my entire perspective on life has irrevocably changed. For all these years I have labored under the tacit assumption that it gets better; that eventually this work will pay off but I am now realizing that there is no such guarantee and, perhaps worse, that there is no “better” in samsara. I find myself trying to imagine my next step, trying to formulate a new life and, also in the same moment, anicca, dukkha and anatta dash the fantasy to the ground.

I want to admit here, before I continue, that I am certainly not thinking clearly and these perceptions are certainly colored by a negative state of mind. Still, there is a kernel of wisdom here that I have often parroted but rarely understood. I suppose what pains me most is my children. What can I give them to help assuage the pain of the uncertainty of our lives? Only the truth of kamma that we are all, each one of us, responsible for our lives and lots can help but it is bitter medicine indeed. And, even if I am far from upekkha I can at least incline the mind there.

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Posted in Dhamma

Posted by: Michael | 01/09/2014

Things are Bad

Things are definitely not going well for the business and it is strange just how attached I have been to the idea that we were a business that does well. If there was any doubt, the events of the past few days have put that to rest. In so many ways I am at a complete loss of what to do but then I step outside and marvel that I’m still here, breathing as always.

As yet we’re still fighting to hold onto the business but time will tell if that is a fight we can win or if we will be undone. I worry in a way that I think must be unique to fathers and husbands in our culture because so much of my identity has been involved with supporting them. And, there is the fact that I am so tired. But, in this life, this is my responsibility, this is my duty and I must do whatever it takes to protect and care for this family I have helped to create.

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: Business, failing, family, ruin

Posted by: Michael | 01/08/2014

Anicca Strikes Again

The last two days have been completely disruptive to any sense of routine or normality. Whether it has been working like a maniac to stave off the fear of fiscal ruin, rushing home to deal with a family emergency or coming home to a wife who has reawakened to her own dissatisfaction with modern, urban life it is unsurprising that I completely forgot to post an entry yesterday.

Perhaps the worst part about the ongoing catastrophe is that I missed a conference call which was required for the training I have embarked upon (I don’t go into detail because I have been asked not to by the coordinators but suffice it to say that it is Dhamma related). I have heard nothing yet nor have I had time to write them because I am unsure of just what to say.

And although I first thought of impermanence and uncertainty when I began writing tonight’s post perhaps a better title would have had something to do with equanimity in the face of disaster. As I rushed home from work to fiknd out why my wife call me in tears I realized that I had no real way out of the situation. This was life and it was a result of actions I had committed yesterday, last year or an aeon ago. Regardless of what I had done I was the heir to those doings and anything less than acceptance and forebearance just seemed silly. Suffice it to say that the thought worked well until the accusations began to fly at which point I retreated to my bed and promptly sunk into oblivion.

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Posted in Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada, Upekkha | Tags: anicca, kamma, upekkha