Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 01/30/2014

Afraid to Be Kind

As I walked from the freezing cold waterfront where our office is located up to the station on 4th Ave I realized something: I don’t have to be so unkind to myself. I may have been the unwitting master of my current predicament in this life or in some other but do I have to make myself suffer over it for a second time? Yes, I can and should work hard now but long hours do not mean I have to obsess and torture myself when I have done what I can. I need to love myself enough to pick up my tools at the right time and to put them down when the day is done.

Does a barber sleep with shears? A butcher with knives? Why, then, do I insist on sleeping with my job? I am seeing ever more clearly that the point of living gets lost when we chase gain and run from loss. Sabbe sattaa sukhitaa hontu!

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: daily life, equanimity, gain, loss, work

Posted by: Michael | 01/29/2014

Encumbering

I have been overcome once again by my own busyness. Running hither and thither, checking this and that in a frantic effort to control, mitigate and hold back the flood waters. To what end? Insanity and irritation it seems. At times like this the Lord’s exhortation to be unburdened with duties rings loud in my ears but I am yet trying to figure this all out.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada

Posted by: Michael | 01/28/2014

The Sound of Your Own Voice

Last night I volunteered to manage the evening meditation session with the group I have been attending for yeears. The teacher (and most of the students) had just returned from an eight day retreat and was completely energized which, despite my own fatigue and problems, was inspiring nonetheless. The talk was great and really delved into the nuts and bolts of anapanasati as the group practices it but the thing that stuck in my mind was the discussion that followed the talk which centered on the quality of one’s own voice while fabricating perceptions during meditation. It may not be obvious that this is important in anapanasati practice (although it certainly seems to be to me) but it is blatantly clear when it comes to the forgiveness practice that I am undertaking for at least the next week.

What is the sound of your inner voice when you meditate? What is it throughout the day? Is it like a tyrant o

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Posted by: Michael | 01/26/2014

Dissolution

I realized this morning as I sat in meditation (while obviously not doing a good job staying with the theme) that a number of things in my life may be nearing the end of their arcs and that, in many ways, I may simply need to keep trying but make peace with the fact that my efforts may very well come to naught.

In the spirit of living without the hope of success or even failure and of undertaking courses of action solely because they conduce to my own and others’ long term well-being, I have decided to take part in another online retreat despite the fact that I was a bit overwhelmede by the last one. Maybe it is folly but with so many obstructive forces working against my practice I felt it was a necessity. Wish me luck and every good blessing to all.

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Posted in Aditthana, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Theravada | Tags: ending, kamma, retreat

Posted by: Michael | 01/24/2014

Buddha Vacana ~ Sharing verses for Jan 24, 2014

24. If the one who does no wrong
Follows one who is evil,
He himself will be suspected of evil
And his reputation will decline.

According to the friends one makes,
According to who one follows,
So does one become.
Like one’s associates one becomes.

Follower and following,
Toucher and touched alike,
An arrow smeared with poison
Infects those arrows that are not poisoned,
So that all are fouled.
The upright person not wishing to be soiled
Should not keep company with the fool.

If one strings a piece of putrid fish
On a blade of kusa grass,
The grass will smell putrid too;
The same with one who follows the fool.

If one wraps frankincense
In an ordinary kind of leaf,
The leaf will soon smell sweet too;
The same with one who follows the wise.

Remembering the example of the leaf wrapping
And understanding the results,
One should seek companionship with the wise,
Never with the fool.

Itivuttaka 68

What does this mean for those of us in the lay life? What do we do when the values of the world and our colleagues run counter to the Dhamma? Questions that I have yet to resolve in my mind or heart.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: buddha vacana

Posted by: Michael | 01/23/2014

Burdened

Over the past few weeks I have been trying, with moderate success, to find additional work on the side freelance writing and marketing where I can but the additional responsibilities have whittled away what was left for formal meditation. I feel that the worst part really is my seeming inability to get back on track but what more can I do? As of now I think the best I can do is to commit to sitting or walking for a total of 25 minutes a day despite how empty such a resolve feels.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Dukkha, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: Dukkha, empty, resolve

Posted by: Michael | 01/21/2014

Buddha Vacana ~ The Spoils of Unwholesomeness

21. If a fool was sitting in an assembly hall, in the main street or at the crossroads and people were to talk about him, and if he were one who broke the five precepts, he would think: “These people are talking about me because I have done these things.” This is the first kind of anguish and dejection that the fool experiences here and now.
Again, a fool might see the king arrest a thief or wrongdoer and punish him. And upon seeing this, the fool would think: “The king is punishing this wrongdoer. Now, I have done these things also, so if the king were to know about me, he might punish me also.” This is the second kind of anguish and dejection that the fool experiences here and now.
And again, while the fool is sitting in a chair, or lying on a bed or on the ground, those evil deeds that he has formerly done with body, speech or mind come to rest on him, lie on him, settle on him, just as when at evening, the shadows of the great mountain peaks come to rest, lie and settle on the ground. At such times, the fool thinks: ” Oh indeed, what is lovely has not been done by me, what is skillful has not been done, I have made no refuge against the fearful. There is a place for those who have done no good, only evil, and to there I will go.” And so he grieves, mourns, laments, beats his breast, cries and falls into disillusionment. This is the third kind of anguish and dejection that the fool experiences here and now.

Majjhima Nikaya III.163

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada

Posted by: Michael | 01/20/2014

Borrowed Time

Life right now feels as if it is being lived on brrowed time or, perhaps more appropriately, borrowed merit. This morning on my way in to work I decided to use my 27 bead bone mala as a means of reflecting on the inevitability of my death.Over the course of my trip the reflection strayed in other Dhamma topics but seemed to stick on the reflection on the truth of the law of kamma. In other words, despite how bad it may seem right now if I allow my precepts to slip I will have to pay for it.

Where does that leave me? In short, I am benefiting, even now, from past good kamma but I am not doing much to create favorable conditions in the future. With the diminution of my formal practice I have noticed a concurrent weakening of my mindfulness and a disturbing trend to take liberties with precepts which is why I felt the need to sober myself up this morning with a reflection on death, impermanence and kamma. May it do me some good.

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Posted in Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Maranasati, Theravada | Tags: anicca, contemplation, death, kamma, reflection

Posted by: Michael | 01/19/2014

Finding and Forgetting

Lately my formal practice has been suffering the results of an overburdened mind and a schedule rife with work and life responsibilities. As I take on more work to try to prepare myself for what may very well be the end of my company I am also wearing down what stores of energy I have left for the practice and it is in moments like this of sheer desperation that I wonder how a worldling like myself will ever make a way out of the mess.

Lately it just seems that I find the the path for a moment and then just as quickly forget it again. it is a strange state of affairs but it is a poignant reminder of how lucky any of us are to have even had the opportunity to practice for an hour, a day or a year of our lives. Samsara is an infinitely deep hole and escape is not something to be undertaken lightly. Let us do what we can and always incline our minds towards the Dhamma.

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Posted in Buddha, Dhamma, Dukkha, Theravada | Tags: Buddha, Dhamma, forgetfulness, samsara