Tonight is the night that I volunteer to coordinate the meditation session at my group. Despite how good I know it is and just how much benefit I derive I would have liked nothing better today thanm to have skipped it. But, the Lord Buddha always encouraged us to give up a smaller pleasure in pursuit of a larger, more wholesome one so wish me luck tonight as I work on my paramis and try not to fall asleep. Sukhitaa hontu!
Posted by: Michael | 02/09/2014
Sunday Night
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: determination, meditation, Perseverance
Posted by: Michael | 02/08/2014
Good Morning
I awoke with a start and immediately checked my emails to find a request from one of my clients to finish the copy for his website. He wasn’t pushy or irritated (from what I could tell through the email and my non-existent psychic powers) but I immediately felt a sense of urgency that had me out of bed and writing by 5am. Naturally I am of two minds about this but I need to make an effort not to allow myself to carried away into friendzied work mode before cleaning the mind. I mean, it is true that I didn’t go without coffee or brushing my teeth so why is it acceptable to go without meditation?
So, I’m thinking that I should make an agreement with myself to sit in meditation for a mere five minutes even on days like today. Hopefully, even with five minutes I will be able to see things a little more clearly and proceed calmly. That is the hope at least.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: meditation, morning, work
Posted by: Michael | 02/07/2014
Good Morning Anger
My wife awoke in a full rage this morning and I was almost completely swept away with her. This is not to say that I did not have a harsh word or two to say, as I certainly did, but in the end I was able to turn it back and rein it in despite still feeling like she got the better of me. But, when I really look at it, without the veil of rage covering my eyes, I see that the spoils of that kind of victory are nothing I want to carry with me throughout the day.
Posted by: Michael | 02/07/2014
Writing
As anyone who has read this blog over the past several months knows, my business has not been doing so well of late which has led me to take on a number of jobs as a freelance writer and social marketer. The pay is not great yet but I am really just trying to build my portfolio up. Anyways, since I do not want this to devolve into a another session of strategizing allow me to get to the point: I have literally spent 95% of the day typing away and writing every last ounce of sense out of my brain. And, now that I come here I am unsure of where to go next. It feels as if I have nothing to say since I have been misusing words all day merely to flatter clients, push product or fill space. Suffice it to say that I don’t believe it has risen to the level of micchavaca and yet…such is lay life.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: Arts, Business, Business Services, Freelancer, Freelancing, Question, United States, Writers Resources
Posted by: Michael | 02/06/2014
Not Certain
Having spent all day working I come to the eight o’clock hour spent like a soiled birthday candle. Although I never noticed it before, this year the weather has been exerting quite an inuaspicious influence upon my mood and my perception. And yet, nothing about any of this is stable, certain or immutable. It is as if the ongoing crisis in my business has ruptured the membrane of delusion that kkept me cocooned in the tacit misunderstanding that things never deviate too far from where they are right now. And, though I would like to say it were so, I actually am thankful to know the untruth of that delusion right into my bones. Sabbe satta sabba dukkha pamuccantu.
Posted by: Michael | 02/03/2014
Community
As much as I would like it to be otherwise, there is simply no substitute for a real life spiiritual community despite the fact that I continue to benefit from my virtual contact with practictioners through blogs like this one, various for a and online training programs in which I have taken part. For reasons that I suspect have to do with the absence of a sense of obligation to others, I have never been able to follow through or benefit from purely online training. I don’t know what that says about me (if anything at all) but I do recognize the necessity and preciousness of spiritual friends and will be sure to act in accor
Posted in Dhamma
Posted by: Michael | 02/02/2014
All or Nothing
Today has been another long one chasing opportunity and running from fear. I stepped out for a minute today to return an item at the store and was continually struck by the question: what should I be doing? Where should I be placing my attention? It seemed that while I was at home my busyness kept the questions at bay but once outside I felt an immediate sense of dis-ease with myselff and a rough sheet of self-judgement fell over every thought and perception. What was any of this worth if it was not in the service of liberation was a thought that repeated itself in my mind but there was something off about it, something that tasted too much of thirst and desperation. Patience. How quickly I forget but isn’t it described by the Blessed One as the greatest virtue, the highest austerity?
Posted by: Michael | 02/01/2014
Buddha Vacana ~ Remembering Our Aims
32. The holy life is not lived for the advantages that come from gains, honours or fame; it is not lived for the advantages that come from morality; it is not lived for the advantages that come from concentration, nor is it lived for the advantages that come from knowledge and vision. But that which is unshakable freedom of mind – that is the aim of the holy life, that is the goal, that is the culmination.
Majjhima Nikaya I.197
Posted by: Michael | 01/31/2014
What Works
It’s a lesson that bears repeating evidently because I keep coming back to it time and again: do what works to calm and soften the mind when things are rough. Although there is a time to learn and to push oneself it is simply foolish to behave as if Right Effort is just this at all times.
This morning I dropped the idea of pushing and trying to develop this or that practice and decided to just do awareness of the breath using the meditation word “Buddho” with my mala. Since I was a child, I have always been attracted to rosaries (being raised lapsed Catholic they were always around) and this may help to explain why I am drawn to their use and why they have rather calming effect upon me-but I digress.
My point is this: watching the breath with “Buddho” and my mala for a half an hour seem to attenuate the high-pitched suffering and anxiety I have been feeling for weeks. Having not the strength nor patience for more discursive bhavana I initially turned to this practice again because I felt that I needed to remind myself of the polssibility offfered by the Lord and to keep that in mind during these rough times. What better way to do so then by repeating his most well-known attributes: the Awakened.
Namo tassa bhagavato arahato samma sambuddhassa.
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Meditation Word, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, Buddho, mala, meditation word
Posted by: Michael | 01/30/2014
Depression?
I’m not, despite my nihilistic adolescence and early adulthood, very familiar with depression but think I may be suffering slightly from it. I say this because the events of life have become so unpleasant of late that I feel as if every thing that goes wrong or is not as planned is almost too much to bear. It is as if all of my skin has been rubbed off and I simply cannot stand to be touched by anything.
Where does practice go here? Do I simply allow it to be another casualty of mmy ongoing misfortunes? I think that, no matter what happens, my faith in the Buddhadhamma will survive but I am worried now as I see so much beginning to slip through my fingers.
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