Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Today has been another long one chasing opportunity and running from fear. I stepped out for a minute today to return an item at the store and was continually struck by the question: what should I be doing? Where should I be placing my attention? It seemed that while I was at home my busyness kept the questions at bay but once outside I felt an immediate sense of dis-ease with myselff and a rough sheet of self-judgement fell over every thought and perception. What was any of this worth if it was not in the service of liberation was a thought that repeated itself in my mind but there was something off about it, something that tasted too much of thirst and desperation. Patience. How quickly I forget but isn’t it described by the Blessed One as the greatest virtue, the highest austerity?