Posted by: Michael | 06/02/2016

Taking Responsibility

153. What are the eight bucking men and their eight faults? Concerning this, when one is reproved by one of his fellows, He pleads forgetfulness, saying: “I don’t remember, I don’t remember.” Just as a bucking horse, when hit and urged on by his driver, bucks and twists the carriage round with his hindquarters – like that, I say, is this person.
Or, on being reproved by his fellows, he blurts out at his reprover: “What right have you to speak? Why do you think you should speak?” Just as a bucking horse jumps back and batters the carriage railing and breaks the triple bar – like that, I say, is this person.
Or, on being reproved by his fellows, he retorts: “Well, you also have done such things. Fix yourself first!” Just as a bucking horse looses his hindquarters from the pole and tramples on it – like that, I say, is this person.
Again, when one is reproved by one of his fellows, he evades the question, turns the issue aside and shows temper, anger and sulkiness. Just as a bucking horse takes the wrong road and makes the carriage sway – like that, I say, is this person.
Or again, on being reproved, he speaks to the assembly with much gesticulation. Just as a bucking horse rears high and strikes out with his hooves – like this, I say, is this person.
Yet again, on being reproved, he disregards the assembly and the reprover and continues to offend just as before. Just as a bucking horse takes no notice of his driver or the whip and pulls his bit – like this, I say, is this person.
Once again, on being reproved, he says: “I am neither guilty, nor do I care,” and he annoys the assembly by his silence. Just as a bucking horse, when urged on, goes neither back nor forward, but stands still like a post – like this, I say, is this person.
And finally, when one is reproved by one of his fellows;
He says: “Sirs, why should you worry so much about me? I will give up the training and return to the ordinary life. I hope you are satisfied.” Just like a bucking horse, when whipped and urged forward by the driver, draws his legs together and just sits down – like this, I say, is this person.

Anguttara Nikaya IV.190

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Posted by: Michael | 06/01/2016

Perfectly Pure

152. And what else should be done? You should think: “Our bodily conduct must be perfectly pure, clear, open, without defect and controlled. But not because of our being pure will we exalt ourselves or disparage others.” This is how you should train yourselves.

Majjhima Nikaya I.272

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To refrain from intentionally viewing any media that might inflame lust had been much more difficult than it sounds. Naturally there are the grosser forms of media which are completely pornografic in nadir and it is relatively easy to steer clear of them as long as one remains firm in one’s commitments. But, there are so many ways in which I have found myself ensnared and dragged along by the neck like a feckless prey animal caught in a hunter’s trap. 

Generally these are advertisements or clickbait posts on FB and a moment of heedlessness can lead to ignoble preoccupations which unsettle the heart, waste time and divert me from the practice for some time. Call it unnecessary good but after intentionally viewing any media intended only to appear lust I often feel impure for hours after.

In truth, it seems the best way to avoid taking down the rabbit hole is simply to do as Lord Buddha exhorts and guard the sense doors at all times. May up be free from the burning pain of desire and come to the end of suffering.

Posted by: Michael | 05/29/2016

Turbid State of Mind

149. Imagine a pool of turbid, stirred up and muddied water. Then, a man with a vision might stand upon the bank. He could not see the oysters, the shells, the pebbles and gravel on the bottom or the fish moving about. And why? Because of the turbid state of the water.
In the same way, it is impossible for one with a turbid mind to understand either his own benefit or the benefit of others, or to realize higher states. And why? Because of the turbid state of the mind. Now, imagine a pool of clear, tranquil and unstirred water. A man with vision might stand on the bank. He could see the oysters, the shells, the pebbles and gravel on the bottom, and the fish that move about. And why? Because of the untroubled state of the water.
In the same way, it is possible for one with a tranquil mind to understand his own benefit and the benefit of others, and to realize higher states. And why? Because of the untroubled state of his mind.

Anguttara Nikaya I.9

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Posted by: Michael | 05/27/2016

Radical Responsibility

As I have been working with various brahmavihara practices and my own personal at of aspirations I have found my home life to be especially fruitful ground. The last few days in particular have been rough due to being tired from work and stress on my wife at home.

Throughout it all I have been successful in remembering to return to the practice as soon as possible despite the habitual feelings of hopelessness that inevitably accompany such failings. As a result I have thus far managed to avoid the snowball effect that had always thrown me off the path in the past.

One thing that I think has both been invaluable and incredibly difficult is the practice of accepting responsibility for everything that happens. To put it another way, accepting my role in every interaction of which I’m a part. My wife couldn’t be upset with me if I weren’t there and, even more importantly, my feelings of resentment wouldn’t exist of I had practiced well enough to have overcome them.

In short, my life is a problem of my own making so why try to shift the blame? To whom should I complain? If I’m serious about getting out of this them is time I took my life into my hands and accepted full responsibility for it.

I almost feel silly trying to explain my rationale for this aspiration but it serves a purpose so I’ll try.

Although I’m not now in a position where I’m worried about breaking the third precept and haven’t been for some time, situations change constantly and I simply want to avoid putting myself in any potentially dangerous circumstance. That, and the fact that I want to maintain the honor and dignity of my family. If I frequently put myself in a place where I’m spending time alone with a woman more of less of my same age not only is it more likely that an attraction will develop but that people will suspect one.

I see that in writing this I’m giving voice to values that may not seem to jive with modern, Western sensibilities but just look at how much infidelity and promiscuity there is in the media and in our personal lives. It makes you wonder if we all shouldn’t tread more carefully and give the attractions between people their due instead of seeing sexual attraction as a playground and sex as a form of entertainment. Crazy, I know.

Posted by: Michael | 05/25/2016

For the Good of the Many

145. The Brahmin Sangarava said to the Lord: “Good Gotama, we Brahmins perform the sacrifice and encourage others to do so. Whoever does this creates great good that affects many people. But he who goes forth from home into homeless life helps only himself, calms only himself, leads only himself to Nirvana. Such a person is, I say, practising something that creates good for himself only.”
And the lord said: “Well, Brahmin, I will ask you a question; answer as you think fit. Let us say a Tathagata arises in the world, a Noble One, a fully enlightened Buddha, with perfect knowledge and conduct, happily attained, a knower of the worlds, a guide unsurpassed for men to be tamed, a teacher of gods and men, a Buddha, the Lord. And then he says: ‘Come! By my own powers of realization I have come to great happiness as a result of this practice, this way. Come you also! By your own powers of realization you too will come to great happiness as a result of this practice, this way.” Thus this teacher teaches Dhamma to many hundreds, many thousands, many hundreds of thousands of such people. Now Brahmin, since this is so, is this going forth into the homeless life a practice that benefits only one person or many people?”
“Good Gotama, it is a practice that benefits many people.”

Anguttara Nikaya I.168

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Posted by: Michael | 05/24/2016

Putting the Brakes on a Bad Day

I have been finding lots of great opportunities to work with quotidian adversity as a way to cultivate the paramis in every situation with which I’m faced. The idea of meeting every experience with a lion’s roar, of refusing to find into fear of anxiety and to cultivate an attitude of good cheer had been incredibly energizing but, since this is samsara, none of that is permanent.

Today I woke up feeling a little odd, my formal meditation was filled with apocalyptic images and wanderings and the morning to on a sour tone. I was fortunate enough to get vote these adversities as stepping stones and guide posts so I was not completely overwhelmed.

I paused to breathe while seated on the train with my kids , took stock and realized I want in imminent danger and cracked open Gyatrul Rinpoche’s book to a page where he was talking about checking ones motivation at all times. I realized my motivation I changed from seeking to practice for the benefit of myself and others to getting to do away with these uncomfortably feelings. Simply realizing this and reaffirming my commitment to the Path was enough to put the brakes on and turn it around.

May we take the sufferings of life as lessons along the Path and not squander this short life.

Let me start by acknowledging how hypocritical voicing such an aspiration may seem on a blog dedicated to sharing my practice. I hope that, because I try to keep my identity hidden,  you’ll forgive me and focus on the practical aspects rather than than personal ones.

I have found in the past that I am all too eager to present my practice portfolio when questioned as of it are an objective proof of its efficacy. I used to be proid to say that I am for this much time on the mat, I do this much walking meditation, etc. In fact, I used to use an app that not only timed my meditation but would then share it. And for what? I think, largely, to feel like an experienced practicioner instead of the hack I often seem to myself.

At present, all of this is still a work in progress but I just don’t see the use of value in sharing measurable details about my practice work anyone who I’m not looking to as a teacher on the path. Humility of a virtue praised by the wise and, even if my mind doesn’t yet comprehend its full meaning, I hope that practice and habit will deepen my understanding.

This is a tough one, especially in work situations where I’m faced with having to critically examine the quality of an employee’s work. What does it mean to say that I make the firm aspiration to speak well of others, dwelling on their good qualities in such a case?

Perhaps it means to forgive the forgivable, to accentuate the positive while being clear headed and straightforward about our expectations. Maybe it means not engaging in derisive conservation with my business partner about the idiosyncrasies of our employees. Clearly there’s much work to be done with Right Speech and I undertake to practice it as well as I am able.

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