Now Akkosaka of the Bhaaradvaaja Brahmans heard [of this.]. Angry and displeased, he went to see the Blessed One, overwhelming him with abuse and reproaches.
At these words the Blessed One said: “What do you think, brahman? Do you receive visits from friends and colleagues, blood-relations and others?”
“Yes, good Gotama, sometimes such people come.”
“What do you think? Do you serve them with solid food, soft food and savories?”
“Yes, good Gotama, sometimes.”
“But supposing, brahman, they do not accept what you offer, whose is it?”
“If they do not accept, good Gotama, then it belongs to us.”
“So it is here, brahman. The abuse, the scolding, the reviling you hurl at us who do not abuse or scold or revile, we do not accept from you. It all belongs to you, brahman, it all belongs to you!
If a man replies to abuse with abuse, to scolding with scolding, to reviling with reviling, brahman, that is like you joining your guests for dinner. But we are not joining you for dinner. It is all yours, brahman, it is all yours!”
Akkoso Sutta
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: abuse, anger, right speech
Hard Reset
The past few days have witnessed a broken precept, the continual dissolution of a marriage and a reappraisal of the way in which I have been practicing. In short, if I’m unable to keep my precepts unblemished at the level of Pañca Sila, then there’s no point in adding additional precepts or pretending to be capable of brahmacariya. As such, I’m going back to basics.
For now, I’m renouncing any higher, bodhisattvic aims and practices until I can keep the 5 Precepts purely for at least a year. After 3, if I live that long, I will reevaluate where I’m at and decide if I should take up more “Mahayana-style” practices. Until then buddho and other practices as needed to counteract the kilesas.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sila, Theravada | Tags: 5 Precepts, broken precept, marriage, purity
Happy Uposatha – Magandiya Sutta
I’ve been wracked by craving the past few days and it always seems to correlate to difficulties at home and interpersonally. As I was meditating this morning I kept turning to the list of of the parts of the body when the reveries completely swamped my heedfulness. At some point the simile of the leper in the Magandiya Sutta came to my mind and I reflected on just how apt the analogy is.
May I practice restraint and renunciation this uposatha day. May I always be reborn in favorable training circumstances . May I never be separated from the Dhamma.
“Now suppose that there was a leper covered with sores & infections, devoured by worms, picking the scabs off the openings of his wounds with his nails, cauterizing his body over a pit of glowing embers. The more he cauterized his body over the pit of glowing embers, the more disgusting, foul-smelling, & putrid the openings of his wounds would become, and yet he would feel a modicum of enjoyment & satisfaction because of the itchiness of his wounds. In the same way, beings not free from passion for sensual pleasures — devoured by sensual craving, burning with sensual fever — indulge in sensual pleasures. The more they indulge in sensual pleasures, the more their sensual craving increases and the more they burn with sensual fever, and yet they feel a modicum of enjoyment & satisfaction dependent on the five strings of sensuality.”
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Nekkhama, Sila, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: craving, leper, Magandiya Sutta, sense pleasures
Am I a Narcissist?
My wife repeatedly makes this assertion. Yes, it is almost always in times of conflict when our wants do not align but she says it enough that I have become concerned that there may be a grain of truth to it. What is strange is that I have discovered many traits of a so-called narcissist in her behavior after having only cursorily reviewed the clinical and pop definitions. And, yet, this uneasiness remains.
Is it because I don’t want to be seen as a taker? An egotist? A narcissist? Or is it because I really don’t want to be a source of pain and discomfort to those around me? What I often times frame as a struggle to balance my work and family obligations as well as my own needs for rest and diversion may simply be a case of fixation on my own wants with the so-called noble intentions serving only as a foil. In all honesty, I can never really know while still an ignoble worldling so, I have to keep the possibility open. It is possible that I act like a narcissist at times. I can accept that and yet I can always try to do better by putting others’ first and myself last while still attending to all of our needs in the most wise and compassionate way possible.
Post Script:
I’m listening to an interesting book on narcissism in our present age and thought it might be of interest to anyone stumbling across the blog:
The Narcissist Next Door: Understanding the Monster in Your Family, in Your Office, in Your Bed-in Your World
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: marriage, narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder
Election Day
The Fruit of Practice
Today’s formal morning sessions of buddho with the breath, buddho while walking and buddho repetition weren’t great in terms of concentration but I was able to attenuate my determination and stick with it, especially through the walking mediattion. As I sat down to write this I recalled a passage in the Nava Sutta that aptly describes my perception of today’s practice. I’ll include it below because it inspires me to keep it up and I hope it may do the same for you:
“Just as when a carpenter or carpenter’s apprentice sees the marks of his fingers or thumb on the handle of his adze but does not know, ‘Today my adze handle wore down this much, or yesterday it wore down that much, or the day before yesterday it wore down this much,’ still he knows it is worn through when it is worn through. In the same way, when a monk dwells devoting himself to development, he does not know, ‘Today my effluents wore down this much, or yesterday they wore down that much, or the day before yesterday they wore down this much,’ still he knows they are worn through when they are worn through.”
Posted in Aditthana, Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Buddho, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Nava Sutta, simile of the adze, Thanissaro Bhikkhu
Media and Political Fast Rules
Facebook Fast
As part of my ongoing attempt to cut out media and entanglements that are not conducive to the development of mindfulness and concentration I have deactivated my Facebook account. I found that any good I may have been able to do in terms of offering support and standing in solidarity with the oppressed and victimized was outweighed by the agitation it caused in my heart.
It has been more difficult than I expected to separate myself from it and I found that I often became embroiled in debate with people that proved utterly fruitless. I’ve discovered it is next to impossible to educate compassion on Facebook so fighting with those who are lacking only disturbed my own peace.
I hope that by giving up the news and Facebook I’ll be able to cultivate more peace and less anxiety. In addition, I hope to become less opinionated and combative. We shall see.
Thana Sutta
[3] “‘It’s through adversity that a person’s endurance may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning’: Thus was it said. And in reference to what was it said?
“There is the case where a person, suffering loss of relatives, loss of wealth, or loss through disease, does not reflect: ‘That’s how it is when living together in the world. That’s how it is when gaining a personal identity.[1] When there is living in the world, when there is the gaining of a personal identity, these eight worldly conditions spin after the world, and the world spins after these eight worldly conditions: gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure, & pain.’ Suffering loss of relatives, loss of wealth, or loss through disease, he sorrows, grieves, & laments, beats his breast, becomes distraught. And then there is the case where a person, suffering loss of relatives, loss of wealth, or loss through disease, reflects: ‘That’s how it is when living together in the world. That’s how it is when gaining a personal identity. When there is living in the world, when there is the gaining of a personal identity, these eight worldly conditions spin after the world, and the world spins after these eight worldly conditions: gain, loss, status, disgrace, censure, praise, pleasure, & pain.’ Suffering loss of relatives, loss of wealth, or loss through disease, he does not sorrow, grieve, or lament, does not beat his breast or become distraught.
“‘It’s through adversity that a person’s endurance may be known, and then only after a long period, not a short period; by one who is attentive, not by one who is inattentive; by one who is discerning, not by one who is not discerning’: Thus was it said. And in reference to this was it said.
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/an/an04/an04.192.than.html
How quickly do I forget that samsara is completely out of control and offers no refuge anywhere. May I recall that samsara is forever incorregible and strive for a toehold in liberation.
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Khanti, Theravada | Tags: adversity, endurance, Thana Sutta
Eid Mubarak and Equanimity
It so happens that today is Eid al Fitr and I’m on my way to spend it with the in-laws. Of course, as with most familial situations, there is a certain level of stress and discord involved. Not to be melodramatic but I can at least be thankful that blame for wrongdoing has no shifted to me rather than my spouse for an incident that almost resulted in an Eid al Fitr boycott.
It seems that there is always a need in families and groups to have a sacrificial lamb or scape goat in order to reinforce in-group bonds. Hopefully, my wife can benefit and her relationship with her parents will be somewhat healed.
Thanks to my practice, rather than stewing over the supposed injustice, the first thought that occurred to me was that this is the perfect occasion to practice equanimity. When praised or blamed, what could be a better response than upekkha? Knowing that the world and people are inconstant and stressful and that we and everyone else are heirs to our kamma it seems to me that there is no better reaction than to cultivate even mindedness. To wit:
What, now, is the nature of that insight? It is the clear understanding of how all these vicissitudes of life originate, and of our own true nature. We have to understand that the various experiences we undergo result from our kamma — our actions in thought, word and deed — performed in this life and in earlier lives. Kamma is the womb from which we spring (kamma-yoni), and whether we like it or not, we are the inalienable “owners” of our deeds (kamma-ssaka). But as soon as we have performed any action, our control over it is lost: it forever remains with us and inevitably returns to us as our due heritage (kamma-dayada). Nothing that happens to us comes from an “outer” hostile world foreign to ourselves; everything is the outcome of our own mind and deeds. Because this knowledge frees us from fear, it is the first basis of equanimity. When, in everything that befalls us we only meet ourselves, why should we fear?
https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel006.html
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