Posted by: Michael | 08/01/2020
Be Like Socrates
Posted in Dhamma
Posted by: Michael | 07/27/2020
Captive to Our Words
How many words do I wish I could unspeak? How many resolves made in haste or, worse, anger do I wish I could undo? For how long will I allow myself to remain captive to wrong speech and the kilesas that undergird it?
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Islam, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: I’m am Ali, words, wrong speech
Posted by: Michael | 07/24/2020
Forgive Us All
My anger screwed up yesterday big time. We were on our way out of town and my frustration with my wife’s criticism of my driving and micromanagent of the same cause me to jump out of the car at a stop light and walk around the block to cool off. This sparked a violent reaction from her and any truce or rapprochement we were enjoying has been smashed to pieces.
And, I only have myself to blame.
Here, in NH with the in-laws I now have a chance to practice kindness and indifference to the opinions of others. May I realize that opinions are inconstant and that we’re all held hostage by the kilesas.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Forgiveness, Stoicism, Theravada | Tags: anger, compassion, karuna
Posted by: Michael | 07/19/2020
Faithfulness
Anicca strikes again and it seems like I’m back in the householder saddle once more. There was an abrupt and pleasant change in my wife’s behavior and demeanor towards me and I honestly wonder if it had anything to do with the rather large offering I made to one of my favorite monks and partially dedicated to her (if memory serves although I may be confusing this dedication of merit with the food dana I did a few weeks ago). Regardless, here I am again, taking up the role of husband and father while these conditions last.
And, while they do, it only makes sense to execute them to the best of my ability and in accord with the precepts. Specifically, the third and fourth which cover sexual fidelity and truth telling. Although I feel that I have done pretty well on these fronts there’s always room for improvement and why not recommit when things look to be starting over again?
May I be ever faithful in my relationships. May I always speak the truth when asked and hold my tongue when speech would cause hurt and division.
Posted in Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Dana, Dhamma, Family Life, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: fourth precepts, lying, precepts, third precepts
Posted by: Michael | 07/15/2020
Choices
Everything that makes kamma is a choice. Whether it’s the grand arc of your life kind if choice or the moment to moment choices that keep us running from pain into pleasure. I have chosen to stay with a person who is miserable and who would make me miserable as well for the good of our children but I just can’t do it any longer. There is simply no reason.
I told her that, when the lease is up, I’ll be moving out. Let the cards fall where they may buy I can’t continue to live in an place where my things are routinely thrown out or stuffed in a little half bathroom where all of my things are kept. I can’t live in a place where the only thing I’m allowed to do is pay for everything. So, despite how bad of a decision it is for all concerned financially that’s it. I’ve made my choice and we’ll figure the rest out.
I think one if the most important things is that I not allow bitterness to take over. I am constantly checking my intentions to ensure that I am not acting out of malice or spite. Despite the temptation to feel victimized I chose to put myself in this situation and remain. There is no one else to blame. So, goodbye to the old life and hello to the new.
Posted in Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Theravada | Tags: divorce, separation
Posted by: Michael | 07/11/2020
Sex and Strength
A quick Google search tells you all you need to know about our society and it’s love affair with sex. Despite religious traditions having taught the dangers of unrestrained sexuality for millennia, all you find in the first page of results are articles and essays extolling the virtues of sex and masturbation.
Having been raised in this culture, I blindly assumed that this was correct. For years I viewed regular sex and masturbation as healthy and natural. It was only after I began to seriously practice and learn the Dhamma that I began to call such a way of thinking into question.
Today, I am a little over 40 days without having intentionally “spilled my seed” (I prefer to use euphemism, kill me if you must) and I feel a strength of will and a freedom I have not known before. I no longer linger about waiting for scraps to be thrown to me and I can imagine a life free of the servitude to my sexual desires. So much is sacrificed on the altar of list and so little gained in exchange.
All of this is to say that I am now weary of ruining my streak as I fear the psychological damage it may do. I need to be strong to deal with the vicissitudes of life and gratifying lust seems to me to be the worst thing I could do.
Posted by: Michael | 07/09/2020
Who Else?
Who else but me can make progress on beating back the defilements? Who else but me can I hold to account? If I want to be stronger physically there’s no pill to take, there’s only exercise. If I want to be stronger morally there’s no magic mantra, there is solely renouncing bad deeds and cleaving to the good.
Posted in Bodhisattvayana, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: self mastery
Posted by: Michael | 07/04/2020
Calm in Failure
I found the quote above and it immediately struck me. Not solely for its affinity with the Roman Stoic focus on tranquility as the goal of stoic praxis but because it’s true. It’s Dhamma. And, although I knew somewhere that it was so, hearing it from a venerable ajahn gives me confidence that I need to practice being less reactive in all situations. That calm is a noble aim.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada, Upekkha | Tags: Ajahn Suchart, calm, Roman Stoicism, Thai ajahn, tranquility
Posted by: Michael | 07/01/2020
July Goals
In some ways it seemed strange to set goals coming from this Western Buddhist background but, even I truly think about it, there’s no other way to make progress. It is as Seneca said:
If a man knows not to which port he sails, no wind is favorable.
So, the above are my daily and Weekly goals for July. I may add more conditioning because I forgot somethings I normally do but this is a good baseline.
Posted by: Michael | 06/30/2020
The True Enemy
My physical training has been going well and by well I mean simply that I have been doing it, not that I’m any good at it. This week I’ve managed to fit in a Muay Thai lesson and a boxing lesson as well as my conditioning routine and some runs (note that the plantar fasciitis seems to have let up). All of this combined with regular fasting is meant to get me in shape for the hard times I’m sure are to come (and if I’m wrong I will be glad for it) but it can be easy to lose sight of the true goal: to liberate myself from the kilesas.
You see, if you ever watch any prepper channels on YouTube or are a member of survivalist groups and forums there is always this idea of bugging out. In other words, you stock up supplies and an obscene amount of weapons and you run away to the country where you set up cannot and defend it tooth and nail. I’ve come to realize that this approach is not only impractical for me but it goes against everything I believe in. Call it my bodhisattva aspiration but when things get bad I want to be able to help. I don’t want to run away and kill whoever gets in my way. I want to learn the skills that are needed to help and, at the very least, have an open heart and arms for those suffering.
Now, I’m not a Pollyanna about this. There will be those looking to take advantage but that is what wisdom is for. Nonetheless, the true enemies are inside and they are the ones that make it hard to know what the right thing to do truly is. May we subdue our anger and learn to benefit ourselves and all beings.
Posted in Bodhisattvayana, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada, Tibetan Buddhism | Tags: 37 Practices of a Bodhisattva, anger, prepping, survivalist
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