Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Everything that makes kamma is a choice. Whether it’s the grand arc of your life kind if choice or the moment to moment choices that keep us running from pain into pleasure. I have chosen to stay with a person who is miserable and who would make me miserable as well for the good of our children but I just can’t do it any longer. There is simply no reason.

I told her that, when the lease is up, I’ll be moving out. Let the cards fall where they may buy I can’t continue to live in an place where my things are routinely thrown out or stuffed in a little half bathroom where all of my things are kept. I can’t live in a place where the only thing I’m allowed to do is pay for everything. So, despite how bad of a decision it is for all concerned financially that’s it. I’ve made my choice and we’ll figure the rest out.

I think one if the most important things is that I not allow bitterness to take over. I am constantly checking my intentions to ensure that I am not acting out of malice or spite. Despite the temptation to feel victimized I chose to put myself in this situation and remain. There is no one else to blame. So, goodbye to the old life and hello to the new.