Posted by: Michael | 06/02/2015

Resisting Reproach

153. What are the eight bucking men and their eight faults? Concerning this, when one is reproved by one of his fellows, He pleads forgetfulness, saying: “I don’t remember, I don’t remember.” Just as a bucking horse, when hit and urged on by his driver, bucks and twists the carriage round with his hindquarters – like that, I say, is this person.
Or, on being reproved by his fellows, he blurts out at his reprover: “What right have you to speak? Why do you think you should speak?” Just as a bucking horse jumps back and batters the carriage railing and breaks the triple bar – like that, I say, is this person.
Or, on being reproved by his fellows, he retorts: “Well, you also have done such things. Fix yourself first!” Just as a bucking horse looses his hindquarters from the pole and tramples on it – like that, I say, is this person.
Again, when one is reproved by one of his fellows, he evades the question, turns the issue aside and shows temper, anger and sulkiness. Just as a bucking horse takes the wrong road and makes the carriage sway – like that, I say, is this person.
Or again, on being reproved, he speaks to the assembly with much gesticulation. Just as a bucking horse rears high and strikes out with his hooves – like this, I say, is this person.
Yet again, on being reproved, he disregards the assembly and the reprover and continues to offend just as before. Just as a bucking horse takes no notice of his driver or the whip and pulls his bit – like this, I say, is this person.
Once again, on being reproved, he says: “I am neither guilty, nor do I care,” and he annoys the assembly by his silence. Just as a bucking horse, when urged on, goes neither back nor forward, but stands still like a post – like this, I say, is this person.
And finally, when one is reproved by one of his fellows;
He says: “Sirs, why should you worry so much about me? I will give up the training and return to the ordinary life. I hope you are satisfied.” Just like a bucking horse, when whipped and urged forward by the driver, draws his legs together and just sits down – like this, I say, is this person.

Anguttara Nikaya IV.190

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Posted by: Michael | 06/01/2015

Happy Uposatha – Perfectly Pure Conduct

152. And what else should be done? You should think: “Our bodily conduct must be perfectly pure, clear, open, without defect and controlled. But not because of our being pure will we exalt ourselves or disparage others.” This is how you should train yourselves.

Majjhima Nikaya

I came upon this verse today using my Buddha vacana app and was pleasantly surprised by just how well it addresses my present situation. Guarding the sense doors in order to maintain purity of verbal and bodily conduct is something which I have struggled with for a long time and send to me to highlight the intimate relationship between sati and sila. Without mindfulness it is almost impossible to practice morality and cultivate virtue.

Once more I find that the path is not linear but rhizomatic in that each factor of the path grows into and back out of one another. May I do my best to cultivate them all. Happy Uposatha everyone!

Posted by: Michael | 05/30/2015

Gratitude to the Triple Gem

Strangely,  from seemingly nowhere, a  potentially unskilfull compulsion had threatened to throw my entire practice into disarray and completely eliminate the possibility of progress. It seems that,  regardless of what I do,  the mind returns to this theme and I can find no rest from it. And yet I hand much to be thankful for because the Teachings at least give me a touchstone and point of reference so that I can discern the right path from one which would only lead to forget suffering. Whether I choose it is another matter entirely.

May I have the strength to choose a path out of suffering and not sacrifice my long term benefit for a short term gain.

Posted by: Michael | 05/28/2015

The Primacy of the Precepts

I have been reflecting quote a bit lately on my formal practice and have come to the conclusion that my sila is in need of more attention. It’s not that I an finding myself bracing the major precepts on a regular basis but I do find myself assailed by remorse more often than I world like. So, as part of my attempt to reground myself I have taken to resorting the eight lifetime precepts  every morning as I walk to work.

The fact that I silently repeat each precept internally using my 36 bead mala means that I have time to reflect a little more deeply on each. Then,  one I have finished,  I take some time to recognize the face that I have not consciously broken any of my precepts and take joy in that.

I hope that by strengthening my sila I will be better preparing the ground for meditation and will be living a more a more authentic and truly beautiful life.

Posted by: Michael | 05/25/2015

Let Me Buy You Lunch

This afternoon I was able to take a walk through my neighborhood and then on into a few others both trying to get in some much needed exercise and also looking for an opportunity to give. Lately, I have been wanting to do more first-person, direct giving and NYC offers tremendous opportunities for doing that. And yet, I often find myself passing people by without giving. Why is that?

I think fear is probably the largest stumbling block. Fear of their reaction. Fear of being seen giving to them. Fear that they will misuse the gift. Fear of being a sucker. So, as a walked along 14th St I saw a number of people: young punk kids with there dogs and sleeping bags, older people with obvious mental illness and everything in between. As I passed each one my anxiety grew and I kept returning to the breath for solace. Finally, I had crossed Fifth Ave and the number of homeless sharply declined.  I made a pact with myself that I would swing back and give to someone if I found no one to whom I felt inspired to give.

Just around this time I had crossed Sixth Avenue and the huge, art-deco facade of the Salvation Army came into view. On its steps sat an old man with a hoodie on and a Styrofoam cup in his hands. For whatever reason I felt compelled to give to him so I walked up and asked “May I buy you lunch?” He gladly accepted and we worked out what he wanted (to his delighted surprise) and we both got what we needed.

I must admit that both before and after I was troubled by my motivations to give to some rather than others but I may just need to make peace with that. Nothing is perfect and my intentions are certainly not completely pure but I wanted to help and, deserving or not, the reward of seeing the old man receive the food while we shook one another’s hands and looked into one another’s eyes is more than enough justification to continue to give wherever and whenever I feel so inspired.

Posted by: Michael | 05/22/2015

Buddho Dhammo Sangho

131. Recollect the immeasurable Buddha,
Be believing,
And with the body filled with joy,
You will always be uplifted.

Recollect the immeasurable Dhamma,
Be believing,
And with the body filled with joy,
You will always be uplifted.

Recollect the immeasurable Sangha,
Be believing,
And with the body filled with joy,
You will always be uplifted.

Therigatha 382-384

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Posted by: Michael | 05/21/2015

Looking Closely

I have made the aditthana to sit for exactly a half hour every morning and fifteen minutes each night inspired by one of Ven. Thanissaro’s essays on Right Action. more, I have made such determinations previously but, qualitatively, I feel this time is somewhat different.

In essence, rather than pushing a technique before hand and simply forcing myself through the period I want to continue to look more closely at the mind as I find it in the moment I come to sit. Doing so I can choose the approach that seems most adroit and then proceed accordingly. So far this technique has produced good results and, frankly, it’s no surprise given that it is an exercise in clear comprehension.

Posted by: Michael | 05/19/2015

Forgiveness in the Body

This morning I wanted to experiment and find or where I hold aversion and grudges in the body. I have been realizing ever more clearly how I habitually hold onto patterns of ill-will in the mind which are then often expressed as areas of contraction in the body. And, although my concentration was not strong enough to go deep into the body I did feel it in a generalized way throughout the body.

It’s easy to forget just how important formal practice is and to simply go through the motions but by clearly song out a plan of what I wanted to work on I found it much easier to stay focused and develop at least a modicum of concentration. Rather than allowing this moment of seeing intention to, itself, become rote I hope I learn to be kind and patient enough to really see what the mind and heart are calling for so that I can respond appropriately. In doing so I can begin to work on these deeply conditioned patterns and learn to act more from a place of love and kindness.

Posted by: Michael | 05/19/2015

Fear of Metta

Something strange has happened this morning and I am still somewhat surpassed by it: I sat down to meditate having decided to take up the theme of metta and was quickly overwhelmed by fear. Suddenly, the suffering of all the beings to whom I was to send metta became clear to me and I found myself inside of feeling with it. Rather than sitting with it, as I now with I would have, I changed to the breath. Here again I almost lost my hold but I used the breath with Buddho, then Dhammo and finally Sangho as a way of taking refugee in the Triple Gem and my fear was finally manageable. Not sure why this happened today but it may be because I an still weak from being sick all weekend.

Posted by: Michael | 05/15/2015

Wrong Behavior

135. I do not praise wrong behaviour in either householder or home leaver. If either a householder or a home leaver fares along wrongly, then he is not accomplishing the perfect way, the Dhamma, the skilled, as a result of his wrong behaviour. Rather, I do praise good behaviour in both householder and home leaver. If either a householder or a home leaver fares along rightly, then he is accomplishing the perfect way, the Dhamma, the skilled, as a result of his right behaviour.

Anguttara Nikaya I.69

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