Yesterday was tough. I worked from home and spent most of the day in proximity to my wife. Quite naturally, a lot of craving arose and I was lucky to have narrowly escaped the clutches of akusala kamma. Contemplating the 32 parts of the body was especially helpful and the image of a cadaver’s skin being pulled off quickly snuffed out the flame of passion. Today is day four and I’m interested to see how this develops.
Posted by: Michael | 04/27/2017
Brahmacharya
Posted by: Michael | 04/25/2017
Patikulamanasikara
As part of my renewed commitment to overcome lust, I am working with the body and foulness contemplations more rigorously than I have been. I have found a video series of autopsies that has been particularly helpful in visualize the 32 parts of the body in the aspect of their foulness.
Be forewarned that the video can be a little much for the unprepared. Happy uposatha!
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Sensual Desire, Sila, Uposatha | Tags: asubha, patikulamanasikara
Posted by: Michael | 04/24/2017
Seven Day Fast
I’ve decided to fast from sweets and sexual activity for the next seven days. I see that I’ve become completely trapped by the allure of both and want to live in freedom from then as much as is possible. In fact, at this point in my life I feel I need to put as much time and energy as possible into uprooting the defilement of sexual attraction. Luckily for me, my wife is only too willing to help although I do worry about what will happen if she ever decided that she wants to return to that aspect of our relationship.
Frankly, I’ve been dragged around by the noise by my own lust for my entire life and, almost certainly, in so many lives before this one. I cannot overestimate the difficulty of trying to remain chaste and celibate but there aren’t too many more noble pursuits I can think of. That’s why I’m starting small and trying to capitalize on small victories first. Wish me luck.
Posted by: Michael | 04/21/2017
An Uphill Battle
The kamma of countless lifetimes can seem almost insurmountable at times. This is especially so when you’re trying to change deep-seated patterns in a relationship. Through the force of conditioning, the other person can be virtually blinded to your actual deeds and words. And, if you’re not careful, you can easily end up throwing in the towel rather than slamming your head into an apparent wall to no avail. This is something I’ve done more times than I can count.
But, I don’t have to and there’s no benefit in doing so. Rather, if I stick to my guns and treat the people in my life as well as I can I will surely have nothing to regret and may even reap the reward of some harmony in this life. If, despite my best efforts, the whole thing falls apart, then I can at least enjoy freedom from remorse.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Theravada | Tags: divorce, gentleness, kindness, marriage
Posted by: Michael | 04/20/2017
Giving Rightly
We all know the story of the mother who had given so much and never considered her own needs. In this story, she either his to the grave without ever having realized her potential or she blows up and loses her mind, featuring everything in her path. I know I’ve felt like the latter at home countless times but it occurs to me now that I don’t need to.
Giving is a balm in its own right when done well. But, especially at home, it is so often undertaken with resentment and a sense of duty. Being asked for something by my wife or kids, my first impulse is to reset the imposition on my time and energy. Can I, instead, begin to see these moments as opportunities to give from heart? The only difference between giving to a homeless person on the street and my wife is my own unskilled preconceptions. May I, through a practice of continual demonstrations of appreciation (my love note practice as I have cine top call it), learn to give freely and with a heart full of joy. Despite what I may think, there is no duty to do anything and all acts of generosity are acts of free will.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dana, Dhamma, Family Life, Metta, Theravada | Tags: appreciation, generosity, marriage, martyr, thankfulness
Posted by: Michael | 04/19/2017
Happy Uposatha
Today is the uposatha and I’m reflecting again on what it means to be married. In so many ways, marriage seems like such a distraction from the path and as fertile ground for making bad kamma and yet…
If the latent defilements weren’t present then all of the things that arise wouldn’t be such an issue. As it stands, it’s clear that I’m not ready to abandon the home life and leave my young children and wife to fend for themselves. In the interim, however, I do need to do everything in my power to put them in good staff so that they can care for themselves.
In addition, I need to use this time and these relationships to cultivate patience, perseverance and loving-kindness. I find that I’m much more insensitive than I would like to be and that my wife and kids often feel underappreciated and unloved. Much of this has to do with my own views about what’s important but clearly that needs to change.
As a result, I’ve decided to take up a habit of writing cards to my wife everyday thanking her and telling her I love her. And, now that I mention it, I think I’ll do the sane for muy kids. Maybe a small thing but all things ate in the end.
Posted by: Michael | 04/17/2017
Am I Ready?
One technique I’ve been using lately is to reflect on whatever it is I am doing or intend to do by asking myself if I am ready for this action to be the last thing I ever do. In other words, if I were to die right now, would I be content with the quality of the mind as it would be colored by the last word, thought or deed undertaken.
Clearly, such a reflection derives much of its strength from my own belief in the karmic potency of one’s last act in this life but it may prove to be useful even if that is lacking. Anyway, I wish for all of us to live without regret and remorse and to pursue the purification of our hearts.
Posted in Buddha, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Maranassati, Theravada | Tags: death recollection, kamma, purification
Posted by: Michael | 04/15/2017
Being Realistic
One piece struck me yesterday during a Dhamma talk by Bhikkhu Samahita and it was this: he said that many monks (and nuns) today don;t have the time to dedicate the five hours a day needed to meditation to see real results. Of course, this is a simplification of what the entire talk was about and I beg forgiveness for any error in my understanding but what I took away from it was that if even people who have dedicated their entire lives to the Dhamma need to spend such lengths of time cultivating samadhi I shouldn’t allow myself to be upset or impatient when I’m seeing only small gains with, at most, an hour each day.
In other words, I need to be realistic about what an hour a day can accomplish. While I will strive to do more I also feel I need to be even more scrupulous and pay more attention to dana and sila in my daily practice. May I never give up nor fall prey to hopelessness.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dana, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, samadhi, Sila | Tags: Bhikkhu Samahita, Dhamma talks, patience, realism
Posted by: Michael | 04/14/2017
Cuba
It’s been about a week since I last attempted to post primarily because my family and I were away in Cuba. In terms of vacationing, I have to admit that Cuba was tough for a family of five from the U.S. since they don’t accept credit cards from US banks not can you retrieve money using your atm card. As a result, I ended up fasting for most days which helped me to cultivate nekkhama when I was unable to spend more than fifteen minutes a day on samadhi bhavana.
Aside from the fasting, the most poignant observation I made was simply this: regardless of the system of government there will still be suffering. Against the backdrop of the horrifyingly cruel and inept trump administration such a realization was helpful if not entirely welcome. Che and Fidel had some great ideas but ended up killing scores of political enemies and enslaving the minds of their countrymen. Alas, there is no succor to be found outside of silã, samadhi and pañña.
Although I still feel that it is my duty to help the vulnerable and to serve other beings, it’s good to remember that I can’t perfect the world. Instead, I should aim solely at perfecting my own heart.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Nekkhama, pañña, samadhi, Sila, Theravada | Tags: Che Guevara, Cuba, Fidel Castro, perfecting, perfection, utopia
Posted by: Michael | 04/04/2017
Buddha Vacana – Worldly Progress
94. Four things lead to worldly progress: achievement in alertness, in caution, in good friendship and achievement in balanced livelihood. And what is achievement in alertness? Concerning this, in whatever way one earns a living, whether by farming, trading, cattle rearing, archery, service to the king or by some craft, in that one becomes deft and tireless, gifted with an inquiring turn of mind into ways and means, and able to arrange and carry out the job.
And what is achievement in caution? Concerning this, whatever one earns by work and effort, collected by strength of arm and sweat of brow in a just and lawful manner, one husbands, watches and guards so that kings do not seize it, thieves do not steal it, fire or water do not destroy it, and unwanted heirs do not remove it.
And what is good friendship? Concerning this, in whatever village or town one lives, one associates with, converses with, discusses things with people either young or old, who are cultured, full of faith, full of virtue, full of charity and full of wisdom. One acts in accordance with the faith of the faithful, the virtue of the virtuous, the charity of the charitable and the wisdom of the wise.
And what is balanced livelihood? Concerning this, one knows both his income and expenditure and lives neither extravagantly nor miserly, knowing that income after expenditure will stand at so much and that expenses will not exceed income. Just as a goldsmith or his apprentice knows, on holding the scales, that so much has dipped down and so much has tilted up, one knows income and expenditure.
If one with small income were to lead an extravagant life there would be those who would say: “He enjoys his wealth like a wood-apple eater.” Likewise, if one with a good income were to be miserly, there would be those who would say: “He will die like a beggar.”
There are four channels through which the wealth one has collected is lost: debauchery, drunkenness, gambling and friendship with evildoers.
Imagine there were a great tank of water with four inlets and outlets, and a man was to close the inlets but keep the outlets open. If there were no rain we could expect the water to decrease. In the same way, there are the four channels through which wealth is lost. There are these four channels through which the wealth one has collected is preserved: avoidance of debauchery, drunkenness, gambling and friendship with evildoers.
Imagine there were a great tank of water with four inlets and outlets, and a man was to keep the inlets open and close the outlets. If he did this and there were good rainfall, we could expect the water to increase. In the same way, there are these four channels through which wealth is preserved.
Anguttara Nikaya IV.281
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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: lay life, material gain, worldly progress
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