Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Today is the uposatha and I’m reflecting again on what it means to be married. In so many ways, marriage seems like such a distraction from the path and as fertile ground for making bad kamma and yet… 

If the latent defilements weren’t present then all of the things that arise wouldn’t be such an issue. As it stands, it’s clear that I’m not ready to abandon the home life and leave my young children and wife to fend for themselves. In the interim, however, I do need to do everything in my power to put them in good staff so that they can care for themselves. 

In addition, I need to use this time and these relationships to cultivate patience, perseverance and loving-kindness. I find that I’m much more insensitive than I would like to be and that my wife and kids often feel underappreciated and unloved. Much of this has to do with my own views about what’s important but clearly that needs to change. 

As a result, I’ve decided to take up a habit of writing cards to my wife everyday thanking her and telling her I love her. And, now that I mention it, I think I’ll do the sane for muy kids. Maybe a small thing but all things ate in the end.