Cattāri Brahmavihārā

The last few days have been difficult to be sure and I haven’t been able to find the time or preserve of mind to post. Today, however, I have been able to slow down and take my time. This is due, in no small part, to the fact that my family is in NH.

I am yet struggling with brahmacariya, alternately complaining about my wife’s lack of desire for physical intimacy and my own intransigence but I do feel that progress is being made. The greatest thing I could hope to accomplish in this life is overcoming the bondage of lust so it’s no small fight indeed.

It is frightening to behold how quickly my mind can be flooded and intoxicated by the mere thought of sense pleasures and how it changes so completely from one moment to the next. Luckily I have the Dhamma and support from Stoic and brahmacariya groups online as well. In some ways, I’m floating further out to sea as the impossibility of reconciliation with my wife becomes more concrete but that really is just fine. What is there to hold onto anyway? Wish me luck as I try to force the path of the married, Buddhist brahmacari in NYC.