Posted by: Upāsaka | 06/28/2019

Determination

What is the voice that tells me that it’s okay to quit when I have made a determination? What do I gain by surrender when I know that my aim is good? Comfort? Pleasure? And how lasting are these?

Right now, I’m fighting with my urge to break a fast that I took up last night after deciding yesterday was my free day. I intend to fast for 36 hours which means I won’t break it until around 10 am tomorrow. But I already am hearkening to the siren’s call of food. It is  a feeling that is not at all dissimilar to the intoxicating allure of sexual pleasure.

I would like to be able to keep my eyes open to see the snares of desire and not be tricked by them but, if I’m not able to do so, may I at least keep my aditthana and not eat until tomorrow morning.


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