Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I was unpleasantly surprised by how strongly I reacted with aversion and hatred to the women standing fully in front of the subway car’s doors as my daughter and I tried to squeeze or way through. Immediately after I found myself silently fuming about how it was possible to be so rude and cu clueless. I even entertained a brief fantasy about somehow teaching people what is right.

I knew, almost simultaneously, just how wrong minded this all was but I wasn’t able to see clearly at that time. Now, with some space, I can see that my sense of pride and unhealthy ego that demands respect in the world is to blame. It feels emasculating to squeeze one’s way past but what’s the alternative? For me it is either sacrifice the pride and ego or give in to anger and resentment. There may very well be a better way but, until I am a much wiser and compassionate being, I prefer to take the defeat upon myself and give the victory to others.