Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 01/09/2018

Right Livelihood

In taking a closer look at the factors of the Eightfold Path, I find myself aching what Right Livelihood means to me. Before getting to that, though, is best to see what the Lord Buddha said:

“A lay follower should not engage in five types of business. Which five? Business in weapons, business in human beings, business in meat, business in intoxicants, and business in poison.”

— AN 5.177

Fortunately, I deal in none of those and it may be that I’ve incorrectly framed the question as my questing is not so much with what I’ll producing and selling but with the treatment of those who work for me. In today’s capitalist economy, people at the bottom in the American workforce are often left to work for minimal pay and without benefits.

Sadly, there’s not much more that we can do as small business owners other than pay as well as we can and treat everyone with respect. The problem is systemic and the best solution I can come up with is to take less and share more.

May I do my best to treat my employees well. May I be sure to use the money I make in the service of others and to support the Dhamma.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Samma Ajivo, Theravada | Tags: employees, Right Livelihood, work

Posted by: Michael | 01/08/2018

As Long as I’m Here

For as long as I’m in the lay life (which may be for the rest of this lifetime), I’ve decided that I need to rethink the way I interact with people and, specifically, my wife.

I feel that I’m generally pretty good about keeping the Fourth Precept and don’t end up telling a lot of blatant lies. What I do end up doing, however, is keeping details to myself, steering conversations away from uncomfortable topics and otherwise redirecting and answering only in part to keep the peace. Technically, this is keeping the precept but my wife’s increasingly excited reactions had lead me to reassess my strategies.

A quick search on the topic of how to be more truthful and forthcoming resulted in me finding some books on Radical Honesty. In essence, you near your soul and wear your heart on your sleeve in your conversations with people. I will, of course, take the Lord Buddha’s advice on Right Speech as paramount but there’s still a lot of room for improvement.

“Monks, a statement endowed with five factors is well-spoken, not ill-spoken. It is blameless & unfaulted by knowledgeable people. Which five?

“It is spoken at the right time. It is spoken in truth. It is spoken affectionately. It is spoken beneficially. It is spoken with a mind of good-will.”

— AN 5.198

Clearly, much of what causes me to manipulate conversations and manage communications is fear. Fear of conflict. Fear of being found out. Fear of vulnerability.

May I learn to practice Radical Honesty and fearless communication.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Family Life, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: Communication, fearlessness, radical honesty, wife

Posted by: Michael | 01/06/2018

Shingles

Turns out this excruciating pain I’ve been experiencing is shingles. Yes, I’m a little young to get it but it was my fortieth birthday preset nonetheless. Interestingly enough, my business partner and one of our friends also came down with it in the last few years so maybe it’s the stress?

Regardless of the material cause, it goes almost without saying that there’s a corresponding karmic cause so I’m trying to be sensitive to that as well. In meditation, I have asked forgiveness of the beings I’ve harmed in this and past lives. In addition, I’m trying to use the pain as a reminder and wellspring of compassion for beings suffering in the world now. The pain immediately brings to mind the idea of cattle and pigs being flayed alive so I imagine I must’ve been responsible for similar things in the past.

I think the biggest thing in dealing with this is not giving in to self pity or resentment. My wife is more concerned about me passing the virus to our toddler which I know is the most important thing but a part of me still feels as if she should be more concerned about me. Rank foolishness but it is what it is. Perhaps the thing that gets me most is her insistence that I have caused this myself due to my anxiety and that I’m to blame unless I get therapy for it.

In short, she’s right: I am to blame. This is my kamma. It’s just that returning to therapy isn’t going to work for me. I’ve tried that and found it just created more problems and agitation.

So, that’s where I am. May I make the determination to use physical and mental dukkha to propel me towards liberation of myself and others.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Anxiety, compassion, family, marriage, mental pain, physical pain, shingles, suffering, Tonglen

Posted by: Michael | 01/05/2018

Pain and Repentance

May I make of this pain an opportunity to atone and repent for any harm I have caused in the past.

May this physical pain remind me always of the suffering of others so that I am ever quick to come to their succor.

May I reflect on the truth and inevitability of kamma so that I may never cause harm to any being again.

May I make of this body a fleet barque on a voyage to the Deathless.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: atonement, compassion, repentance, sickness

Posted by: Michael | 01/04/2018

Pain

It’s funny just how seriously one takes bodily pain. I’ve had a muscle cramp in my back for almost a week and, in applying salves and patches, I seem to have irritated my skin. So now I have near constant pain from back ache and what feels like burns that are constantly ribbing against my shirt.

There’s no question that bearing with pain is tiring. It can also become a weight and burden on the mind, dragging it into darkness if not immediately countered. It is at times like this that it’s good to recall that this body is not me, not mine not my self. Bodies are subject to aging, sickness and death add this body is proceeding according to the Dhamma. For me, at this time, what is most important is to keep the mind bright and focused on the goal.

Today, being my birthday, happens to be particularly well suited to these reflections as I get too reflect on aging and sickness directly. May I make the best use of this life and may I put suffering to good use.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Maranassati, Theravada | Tags: aging, back ache, birthday, death, Pain, sickness, suffering

Posted by: Michael | 01/03/2018

Taking Up the Fight

Another day breaks as I’m confronting with the seemingly endless patterns of discord and disagreement in my home. I could despair, be angry or resentful. I could try to subdue those making me unhappy but to what end? Instead of giving in to hatred and delusion, I need to take up the Fight to transform my heart and to leave the problems others have with me in their own hands.

How many times will I forget this? How many times will I tell myself that winning a fight, having the last word or making someone understand is the answer?

May I not make a mockery of the Dhamma and may my words never ring empty and hollow.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Family Life, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: disagreement, discord, marriage

Posted by: Michael | 01/02/2018

Feeling Sorry for Myself

I’ve noticed that when I feel that I’m obligated to do things for my family and am unable to devote time to practice or (possibly even) relaxation, feelings of resentment and self-pity arise. When looked at objectively it’s hard to understand how I can be so easily fooled but it happens time and again; so much so that it seems like figuring this out is one of the great tasks of this life.

More often than not, I end up feeling this way when others around me are critical of me or my contribution and then, feeling obligated and duty-bound, I do whatever is expected of my with a heavy heart and mind ablaze with aversion. A thousand thoughts red-hot with resentment affirm my righteous indignation and stoke the flames ever higher until anger overcomes me or, in the best cases, I patiently forebear. In the end though, what’s left but ashes and bitterness?

Why do I believe that I’m so special? Why, when I daily make asseverations to help all beings, am I so quick to resent those who need my help? Why do I cast myself as a victim of my own choices?

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Confession of Fault, Dhamma, Dukkha, Family Life, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: duty, marriage, obligation, resentment

Posted by: Michael | 12/29/2017

Insensitive

I’m finding myself lacking sensitivity and compassion recently. I find myself judging people who are suffering because, for some reason, I’ve decided that the causes for their suffering are foolish. What’s more, the methods that they use to overcome their pain (alcohol, drugs, partying) seem to justify my hardness of heart.

I’m disturbed by the arising of this insensitivity and cruelty but I’m not quite sure what to do. I will strive to counter these thoughts and feelings with karuna and hope to see more clearly soon. May all beings be free of suffering. May wisdom arise. May grief and heartbreak come to an end.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Karuna, Theravada | Tags: alcohol, grief, heartache, judgement, suffering

Posted by: Michael | 12/28/2017

Am I Ready?

When death comes, will I be ready? In what pastures have I allowed this mind to roam? In what goodness have I trained it? Death may be only as far away as the next outbreath so why do I allow my heart to remain obsessed with the playthings of lust, hatred and delusion? Like a fool I go about my day never truly believing that death stalks me like a hunter its prey. Many loved ones have already passed from the human form I once knew and all others will as well in time. What excuse can I have for this ignorance?

May we awaken to the reality of death, separation and suffering and strive to put an end to it.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Maranassati, Theravada | Tags: death, recollection of death

Posted by: Michael | 12/26/2017

Remembrance of Death

Remembrance-of-Death

“Remembrance of death saves one from this world’s deceit.”
—Imam Ali (AS)

My wife and kids are away in Florida but are due to be back tonight. Whenever loved ones fly I am always anxious (this goes back to my childhood when my father would constantly fly all over creation). This time is no different except for the fact that I allowed my mind to expand upon what it would mean should there be a crash. In other words, I allowed myself to feel the pain of loss and separating and imagined how I would proceed.

You see, eventually we all must be separated from our loved ones. There is no denying or avoiding it. Saying it will be easier in the future is a hollow hope. How does loss strike you now that you’re an adult as compared to when you were a child? Is it easier? Harder? The same? You have to find these answers for yourself but there’s no escaping the dukkha of separation for an unenlightened one.

And yet, when it happens, how is it any different or more special than the losses faced by millions of parents and children? It helps to remember the stories of Patacara and Kisa Gotami and the advice of the Lord Buddha to them.

May I be gentle yet strong as an oak. May I honor all of my mothers, fathers and children from beginningless time by practicing rightly for ultimate liberation.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Family Life, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: children, death, Kiss Gotami, loss, parents, Patacara, separation