Posted by: Michael | 06/14/2018

Short Term Suffering

Yesterday I had the opportunity to sacrifice my own comfort and go against the grain of my own desires to give something to a person who has been consistently hurtful of late. In any normal calculus, this person was not deserving of my generosity and I had to stake with that briefly before I was able to overcome that and realize that it was about developing the skills of letting go, of kindness and compassion.

I won’t dissemble however: in the short term or can be painful to feel taken advantage of, unappreciated and belittled. But, how else would we develop the paramis? What’s more, there is something invigorating and refreshing in confounding any attempt to make you react poorly and in surprising the receiver of your gift.

As Lord Buddha said, if one must endure short term hardship for long term gain then it should be done. All of which makes the teaching of New Age gurus and life coaches highly suspect. I have felt uncomfortable with teachers like Betinho Massaro for some time but couldn’t put my finger on it. It now seems to me that it had to do with the way they eschew the hard and sometimes painful work of purification and cultivation not to mention their specious metaphysical reasoning.

In short, if it sounds too good to be true it almost certainly is.

Posted by: Michael | 06/13/2018

Uposatha Reflection: Idle Chatter

Part of samma vaca is to refrain from idle chatter and meaningless speech, things which I have failed to do in a quite spectacular way. Swept up by a morbid fascination and incredulity at the cruelty and stupidity of our political system in the US, I have spent a lot of time decrying certain politicians and their pet policies. But, what does the Lord Buddha have to say about such subjects of conversation? For this Uposatha and beyond I hope to devote my speech only to the ten suitable topics for conversation as listed in the excerpt below and to refrain from ignoble speech.

§ 1. I have heard that on one occasion the Blessed One was staying in Savatthi at Jeta’s Grove, Anathapindika’s monastery. Now at that time a large number of monks, after the meal, on returning from their alms round, had gathered at the meeting hall and were engaged in many kinds of bestial topics of conversation: conversation about kings, robbers, & ministers of state; armies, alarms, & battles; food & drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, & scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women & heroes; the gossip of the street & the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity, the creation of the world & of the sea; talk of whether things exist or not.

Then the Blessed One, emerging from his seclusion in the late afternoon, went to the meeting hall and, on arrival, sat down on a seat made ready. As he was sitting there, he addressed the monks: “For what topic of conversation are you gathered together here? In the midst of what topic of conversation have you been interrupted?”

“Just now, lord, after the meal, on returning from our alms round, we gathered at the meeting hall and got engaged in many kinds of bestial topics of conversation: conversation about kings, robbers, & ministers of state; armies, alarms, & battles; food & drink; clothing, furniture, garlands, & scents; relatives; vehicles; villages, towns, cities, the countryside; women & heroes; the gossip of the street & the well; tales of the dead; tales of diversity, the creation of the world & of the sea; talk of whether things exist or not.”

“It isn’t right, monks, that sons of good families, on having gone forth out of faith from home to the homeless life, should get engaged in such topics of conversation, i.e., conversation about kings, robbers, & ministers of state… talk of whether things exist or not.

“There are these ten topics of [proper] conversation. Which ten? Talk on modesty, contentment, seclusion, non-entanglement, arousing persistence, virtue, concentration, discernment, release, and the knowledge & vision of release. These are the ten topics of conversation. If you were to engage repeatedly in these ten topics of conversation, you would outshine even the sun & moon, so mighty, so powerful — to say nothing of the wanderers of other sects.”

— AN 10.69

Posted by: Michael | 06/12/2018

A Mistake

Last night, for a moment, I lost control. It had been a long da o fasting and the kids were off of school but all of their extra-curricular activities were still on. So we were gong non-stop until 8:30PM. When we got home it was almost 9 and I had yet to break fast. My daughter was having a melt down, the baby had a fever and my son was in the bathroom forever. So, I broke fast alone.

Within a few minutes my wife comes upstairs berating me for treating my daughter badly, for being so selfish as to eat alone and any other grievances she may have had. I lost it. I threw my plate of rice into the sink where it broke and retreated to another room with her screaming at me to get out. That I was a monster. That I am a horrible human being.

Yes, I was wrong and no, there are no buts. I allowed my mind to be swayed by criticism and blame and the result was that I broke a plate and scared my kids. My wife, as she is wont to do, is talking about divorce again. I told her that it’s fine but she will need to figure it out and I don’t intend to go anywhere. With her in school, in need of my help all day long for at least one day each week and without any means of supporting herself I told her it’s not really a viable option. When she is on her feet financially I will give her half of everything I earn and she can make a go of it alone. Or, we could just be nice and civil and realize that raising a family isn’t fun or romantic.

Unfortunately, there’s no point in trying to talk it out though. For some time, whether alone or with counselors, she has been too fixated on dwelling on my faults to take effective action to get on with it. If I’m so bad then she should leave but I suspect that financial realities will keep her tethered here for a bit longer. In the interim, I’m not going to torture myself trying to “work it out” when there is nothing to work out except for a more detailed understanding of how deeply I am held in contempt.

May I guard my mind. May I not repeat this mistake. May I do better for the sake of my children and for my wife. May I dedicate the merit of my practice to all of them and may they find true happiness.

Posted by: Michael | 06/10/2018

What Do You Get?

I get the chance to cultivate deep and profound patience. You seem to become more desperate and to be dragged deeper into a swirling cauldron of anger and resentment. As awful as I feel at times being constantly berated I can at least take comfort in the fact that I am able to use the poison as an anti-venom and iniculate myself against the kilesas. But, what do you get? I am saddened when I think about the ways you are hurting yourself but there’s nothing I can do except to work on my own heart and try my best not to add fuel to this ever-raging inferno.

Posted by: Michael | 06/09/2018

Financial Fasting

  • Rule 1: For the course of the year, until the first day of Ramadhan 2019, I may buy only groceries and household necessities such as toilet paper, paper towels, soap, cleaning products. No purchasing gadgets or items intended to make our lives somehow “easier”. Any necessities that I must purchase will be bought in person, not online.
  • Rule 2: No purchases for myself of any kind. If my phone breaks I may have it repaired. Same for computer. If my skateboards break I may use the extended warranty but no new purchases. New clothes cannot be purchased; instead, I will need to go to a thrift store. No purchases include digital media, books, music, etc.
  • Rule 3: No eating out or buying drinks or coffee unless it is with my family at their request.
  • Rule 4: I may purchase items for others as dana and out of necessity. There are no restrictions on where or how I practice charity or the purchase of goods for giving.

I’ll edit and add to this list as I go along and I’ll be sure to document any deviations here. I hope to break the curse of conspicuous consumption and gain some sanity.

Posted by: Michael | 06/09/2018

Fasting from Conspicuous Consumption

The Challenge
For one year, we will buy nothing.

Except for groceries … and a few other things.

***

From January 1st, 2014 to December 31st, 2014 we will adhere to the following purchasing rules:

RULE #1: We are permitted to buy:

groceries (including pet food)
toilet paper
toothpaste, floss, and toothbrushes
ingredients for making soap (Santa gave me lye in my stocking!) and other hygiene/cleaning products

RULE #2: We are NOT permitted to buy:

soaps, detergents, deodorants, hair products, cleaning products, etc.
other personal hygiene “necessities” (razors, razor blades, creams, scrubs, make-up, etc.)
elastics, tape, string, paper, tin foil, ziplocks, pencils, craft supplies, etc.
clothing attire, shoes
household items/products, decorations, furniture
appliances
toys/electronics
sporting goods
books (but borrowing from the library is great!)
tools
hair cuts/personal care
activities and programs (with the exception of Aurora’s cello lessons)
presents (but we can make them!)
RULE #3: Rule #2 may be broken if:

A family member’s physical well-being is threatened
AND:

The item is purchased used if possible
AND:

The purchased item is disclosed in this blog along with the reasons for buying it, the monetary cost of the item (to us), the social and environmental cost of producing the item, the estimated lifespan of the item, and the item’s most likely ultimate destiny (i.e. the dump, recycled into a new product, etc.)

RULE #4: The following other expenses are permissible:

essential medical, dental, and veterinary expenses
utility bills and housing
the occasional dining-out treat (disclosed in this blog)
public transportation (for work)
the occasional rental/borrowed car (and gas) for short vacations
items needed to repair something we already own to its original condition (as of January 1st, 2014) – NO upgrades! So, if our bicycle has a flat tire, we can purchase patches, or, if all else fails, a new inner tube, but no new (and lighter) handlebars, more aerodynamic helmets, etc.

https://thefastingconsumer.wordpress.com/the-challenge/

The above I found on a blog and am inspired to take up something similar. I will need to make some exceptions for dana but I am sick of buying things on a whim (despite how blessed I realize I am to be able to do so). I hope to expand on this theme and come up with something shortly.

Posted by: Michael | 06/08/2018

The Outflowing

This morning during my sit I was amazed by how often the mind wanted to leave buddho and to flow outward. I got the impression that doing so was dangerous given how quickly the external world changes and got the sense that it was better to stick with the one who knows as the ajahns put it. I know it’s not orthodox, but it seemed to me that buddho was the unchanging refuge that couldn’t be lost whereas thoughts about people, places and things only served to bind me more tightly.

You’d think that this realization would have lead to a change and that I might have gotten into upacara samadhi but, no, not at all. Instead I got more fidgety as the hour progressed. Nonetheless I kept chasing buddho. But to see this contrast was well worth it.

Posted by: Michael | 06/06/2018

How to Find Buddho

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Essence of Buddhism's avatarEssence of Buddhism

Ajahn Mun is one of the great Thai Forest Meditation Masters that brought the heart of the Buddha’s teachings back to the world.  Most of the great Theravadan teachers in the west that you hear of today can be traced directly back to him – Ajahn Maha Boowa, Ajahn Chah, Ajahn Sumedho, Ajahn Brahmavamso, Ajahn Amaro…

So I thought I’d share a teaching from Ajahn Mun that is so easy that simple folk like Thai villagers can understand how to do it and have success with it.  The principles of this method are the same as combining Pureland Buddhism (samatha) with Zen (vipassana) – so these Chinese schools use the same principle that Ajahn Mun teaches here to open their enlightenment.

Reciting a mantra stabilizes the mind so it doesn’t keep running out after stuff and once the mind is quietened down, you can then look for your own Buddho…

View original post 1,481 more words

Posted by: Michael | 06/06/2018

Buddho

I have never really given up on using buddho as my parikamma or mantra despite experimenting with other methods. It is, in fact, usually the default practice I find myself switching to a I drift off to sleep or as I walk out of work. Recently, I have become more intensely interested in it perhaps as a result of gaining more familiarity with Pure Land practice and Avalokiteshvara sadhanas.

Whatever the reasons, I want to commit myself to three years of intensive practice with buddho so that, unless I’m specifically applying other practices as antidotes, the heart will be intimate with it even if total concentration isn’t possible.

Which brings me to this point: why have I failed in the past? It seems to me that my failures have been the result of two interrelated causes: perfectionism and impatience. Getting easily frustrated when I lose the thread has led me to completely abandon the practice in the past. And, during those times when I have managed to forgive myself, the apparent lack of progress has convinced me to give it up as well.

May this time be different. For three years may I take buddho as my kamatthana. May I practice with it variously and return to it faithfully regardless of how long I have been forgetful of it.

Posted by: Michael | 06/04/2018

Stoic Precepts

I was once told by a psychic decades ago that I had spent a life as a philosopher. This could be why philosophy and, especially Stoic philosophy has always appealed to me. In the light of the Dhamma it still pales but it is interesting nonetheless.

What is a stoic then? I think that now is a good time to reconsider the stoic movement since it helps the individual to face the inevitable crisis that comes with the rise of economic, political and intellectual empires. While in Asia we have Taoism, in America we have Transcendentalism, in Russia we have Tolstoyanism, Stoicism should be reconsidered, in dialogue with the former tendencies, as the European answer for an ethical life-style. The following ten precepts can provide a rudimentary toolbox:

-I-STAY ACTIVE

-II-DO NOT FEAR

-III-LIVE MODESTLY

-IV-BE GRATEFUL

-V-KEEP ABOVE THE CROWD

-VI-FOLLOW NATURE

-VII-VALUE TIME

-VIII-BEHOLD VIRTUE

-IX-BLOCK VICES

-X-EXAMINE YOURSELF

via Guest post: The 10 Stoic Precepts

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