Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 11/22/2012

Kataññu-katavedi – Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving here in the US and I hope to use today as an opportunity to do just that: give thanks and appreciate all of the blessings and good in my life. The irony is that all of my loved ones will probably get right in the way of me appreciating them! For me that’s rub: bringing my metta practice into my family life in a real and meaningful way when my average day is filled with a hundred little frustrations and the demands of my spouse. And, now, as I’m pulled away by a spousal demand I wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: Children and Youth, Classroom, family, God, History, Holiday, Thanksgiving, United States

Posted by: Michael | 11/21/2012

Happy Uposatha – Restlessness and Remorse

Yes, I realize it’s kind of jarring to combine felicitations with regret and remorse but that’s just where today finds me. Let me get right to the point: How does one deal with the fact of having done something unskillful while knowing full well that one cannot trust oneself to act more wisely in the future? It’s a conundrum and it seems to repeat itself over and over again in life but took its most vivid form for me when I was trying to quit smoking. I struggled for years to quit and it was only when I made the firm determination never to smoke again that I was able to do so even in the face of withdrawal symptoms that racked my body every few minutes for 3-months’ time. Nonetheless, I can happily say that I haven’t smoked in years and have no desire to do so today.

But, what does that mean with regard to my current predicament (the details of which aren’t so important, I’m interested more in the general principle)? Although I hate to feel constrained to take an all or nothing approach what is to be gained by moderately engaging in unskillful behavior? The obvious answer is that there’s nothing top be gained at all so I think my question really comes down to understanding, for myself, if the behavior is really, truly unskillful or if it has any redeeming qualities. If the later holds true then any feelings of remorse are unjustified (but still very real) and if not I need to firmly resolve to quit.

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Posted in Buddhism, Dhamma, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada | Tags: Addiction, Cigarette, health, Mental Health, Quitting, Smoking cessation, Substance Abuse, Tobacco, Withdrawal

Posted by: Michael | 11/20/2012

Irritation

It’s funny that the people we love most are the ones by whom we are most easily annoyed. Maybe it has to do with the strong bonds of attachment and it’s surely the reasoning behind the saying “There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

I find this to be particularly vexing when it comes to my own kids (I owe the inspiration for this post to my son during our morming commute on three trains to school this mornin) because we are often advised to call to mind or heart the feeling of a mother for her child when trying to understand metta. Perhaps it’s just that a mother’s love is qualitatively different than a father’s but it worries me that I can so quickly slip into an aversive way of interacting with my own beloved children.

My only strategy at present is to carefully watch my mind and curb my speech so that the first tool that I reach for when parenting isn’t the barred-teeth threat or the exasperated scream. May my children be well, happy and peaceful and may they be raised in a home filled with love and understanding.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: Awareness, children, family, God, Home, home life, Jesus, London, metta, mother, mother's love, motherhood, Parent

Posted by: Michael | 11/19/2012

Unburdened with Duties – Mindful Working in Manhattan

My job as co-owner of an online business requires that I spend much of my day multi-tasking and generally becoming completely unmoored. As I edit YouTube videos, create graphics, manage my remote and in-house employees while responding to sales’ rep calls and customer emails I quickly “lose the thread” and spiral into almost complete heedlessness. Whatever the case may be, my conditioning is such that I’m more prone to frivolity and idle chatter when I find myself overwhelmed rather than becoming quickly irritated with those around me (that happens to fall to my Type A partner). For years I have flt badly about running my mouth at work and saying things just for a laugh but the precept against samphappalapa has always been the hardest for me. Nonetheless I hope that my renewed commitment to the practice and actively trying to integrate it into my workday will help to overcome unskillful speech and return me to the path of heedfulness a little more quickly. May we all taste true freedom in this life!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Brent Central, Business, Computer multitasking, England, internet, Jarrow March, Liberal Democrats, Sarah Teather, YouTube

Posted by: Michael | 11/18/2012

Dropping Below Thinking

The title of today’s post is perhaps the best way I can describe today’s metta bhavana practice despite not yet being able to articulate what exactly was going on using a traditional, Suttanta or commentarial-based understanding. What I can say is that I intuited the need to let go of the the dry and sterile thinking that was leading me to a no-man’s land of discursive reasoning about metta rather than feeling either the warmth of loving-kindness or the intention behind it. As cliched as it may sound, I found that the only way for me to stay seated on the cushion was to drop my attention from my head down into the center of my chest and rest in the confidence of my intention to extend metta to myself.

Perhaps the most interesting observation that has resulted from sits like these is the fact that, contrary to popular belief, there is a great need of faith (for me at least) in order to continue following the path. For yours truly, at times when I can com up with no logical reason why I should cultivate metta for myself or anyone else I am reminded that the Lord Buddha, upon attaining Nibbana ultimately decided to teach the Dhamma out of compassion for the world when he could just have easily remained in silent bliss until his parinibbana. Why does this thought strengthen my saddha? Well, I’m not sure but I think it has something to do with the thought that the mind when cleaned of the defilements wants happiness for all beings and I would rather put my trust in that then in the endless eel-wrigglings of an aversive mind.

Sabbītiyo vivajjantu
sabbarogo vinassatu
mā te bhava tvan tarayo
sukhī dighā yuko bhava

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Brahma, Buddhism, Dharma (Buddhism), Gautama Buddha, LOrd Buddha, Nirvana, Quran, Religion and Spirituality

Posted by: Michael | 11/17/2012

Fear, Anxiety and Metta

Fear and anxiety have always loomed large in my psyche and continue to cause a great many troubles for me. Whether inspired by actual events at work which have the potential to jeopardize my family’s safety and financial security or simply a generalized anxiety about the myriad things that could go wrong at any time, it’s rare indeed to find a moment not tainted by fear.

If you know anything about the origin story provided for practice of metta within the Buddha’s dispensation you may wonder (I know I certainly do) how it is that a person whose main practice is metta can be so plagued by anxiety. For those of you who don’t, it is said that the Buddha first prescribed metta bhavana as a way for bhikkhus to overcome their fear of forest spirits (devas) who had become displeased with their presence. According to the teachings and, as is to be expected, the bhikkhus overcome their fears and succeed in winning over the devas through the power of the loving-kindness.

Now, it should be quite obvious that my practice is nowhere near as fruitful as bhikkhus who were direct disciples of the Lord Buddha so it’s no surprise that I don’t continuously radiate metta but I often find myself impatient with my progress. And I think it’s precisely in this impatience that there lies the seed of aversion that holds back my practice. It’s the lack of acceptance of the situation, the pushing away of the fear and anxiety that make them impossible to overcome and causes them to doggedly pursue me at every turn. Who knows but perhaps I need to simply let them in and hear what they have to say before they will finally go their own way. I mean, that is the Second Noble Truth isn’t it? Without understanding the nature of the fear and anxiety how can we ever find a way through it?

Sabbītiyo vivajjantu
sabbarogo vinassatu
mā te bhava tvan tarayo
sukhī dighā yuko bhava

Music and Metta Bhavana

Losing the Thread

A scant thee days have passed and I already feel myself succumbing to the pressures of family and the exigencies of work. Still, I have managed to fulfill many of my aditthana today and not to backslide on any of them. Nonetheless, on a day like this when my heart is racing a million miles a minute it is hard not to feel like much of what I’m doing is simply going through the motions. It reminds me of a Chaz DiCapua talk where he describes this part of the practice as the purification side–it’s the part of the practice where you’re not seeing the results and it’s easy to et discouraged. So, may I be mindful of my feelings of doubt and uncertainty (vicchikiccha) and may I not allow it to swamp me. Sukhitaa hontu!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, mindfulness, vicchikiccha

Posted by: Michael | 11/15/2012

Returning to the Theme – Staying Afloat on the Seas of Change

Returning to the theme of the brahma viharas during one’s daily life is difficult to say the least. That long span of time between my morning meditation and my evening one (on those days when I’m able to rouse the energy) often finds me losing hold of metta and drifting wholly into unwholesome thought, speech and deed.

Lately, however, I’ve come up with a kind off practice regimen that helps to keep me focused or at least circling around the divine abodes without going to far afield in the course of the day. In essence I have more less decided that every day I should do the following at least once a day:

Cultivate the brahma viharas during a morning seated meditation
Listen to a Dhamma talk
Post here in this blog on the topic of the braha viharas
Use my mala while commuting or walking outside to internally repeat the mantra “metta-karuna-mudita–upekkha“
Radiate loving-kindness to all beings that I come across during the day and returning to the above mantra when I find myself with idle time (which is rare)
Give to whoever asks during the course of the day
Chant verses of loving-kindness and parittas in thee evening and do at east 15 minute formal seated meditation

I really find that the mantra, the Dhamma talk and the seated, morning meditation help to keep me on course during even the most hectic of days. I’ve come to realize that my life at present isn’t well suited to the development of one-pointed concentration practices which require (of me) a lot less in terms of duties and responsibilities and a lot more time to devote to formal meditation and have always been drawn to the brahma viharas. Thee fact that these subjects of contemplation and practices are directed towards our brother and sisters in birth, old age and death make them particularly well-suited to a life of social engagement. This is not to say that I don’t value concentration practices–to the contrary I hold them in high-esteem and think they’re indispensable to the path but, with two kids and a company to run i may be awhile until I can devote the time required.

Please forgive me for rambling on and may this be of some benefit!

Sabbītiyo vivajjantu
sabbarogo vinassatu
mā te bhava tvan tarayo
sukhī dighā yuko bhava

A Meal Blessing – Breaking the Uposatha Fast

I have always liked the idea of saying a blessing over food (perhaps it’s some kind of hearkening back to my lapsed-Catholic roots) and have tried a few times to take it up as a practice although I’ve pretty much failed miserably every time I’ve done it. At least today, when I break fast in about 10 minutes or so, I would like to use this reflection that’s attributed to Ajahn Jayasaro. I originally recall seeing it on Dhamma Wheel but, as is usual with the search function there, was unable to locate it again. The best I could find was the rendering I present now on someon’s Tumblr page:

Wisely reflecting I eat this food
Remembering with gratitude where it comes from
And how many people have had no food or too little.
Guarding my mind against indulgence,
Mindful of each mouthful
I take into this body what it needs

To support me on the path.

May this be of benefit!

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Posted in Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Ajahn Jayasaro, blessing, Food, grace, health, lapsed-Catholic, Tumblr

Posted by: Michael | 11/14/2012

Happy Uposatha – A New Dana Practice

Today is the uposatha and I’m glad to be able to observe in whatever small way I can. I have taken up a practice again which I came up with some time ago but dropped due to financial fears to make a concerted effort to give to a charity every uposatha day. I don’t know why but somehow the idea is refreshing and the act of giving is energizing. Sure, it usually happens that I’m only able to give online but I have taken the opportunity in the past to do so in person…too bad I find the time so infrequently.

Another dana practice that I used to cultivate was that of carrying around a change purse specifically so that I could give at least something to every person who asked. I know it’s not much but there are so many people out there begging and in such dire straits that it just feels horrible to simply ignore them. I think I will make the aditthana tday to take up this practice as well as a way of helping where I can.

I sincerely hope that by committing to donate more generously on uposatha days and small bits to whomever may ask on a daily basis I will start to chip away at this fear of not having enough. It’s no secret that the world’s getting less of an easy pace to live in each day and I feel it would be criminal to continue to squander the abundance I currently enjoy without sharing. Then too, there is the fact that this privileged position is tenuous and subject to change without notice so I must undertake not to waste the ability to benefit myself and others while I still can.

Aniccā vata saṅkhārā

Uppāda-vaya-dhammino

Uppajjitvā nirujjhanti

Tesaṃ vūpasamo sukho

Inconstant are compounded things. Their nature: to arise & pass away.
They disband as they are arising. Their total stilling is bliss.

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