Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 11/20/2012



It’s funny that the people we love most are the ones by whom we are most easily annoyed. Maybe it has to do with the strong bonds of attachment and it’s surely the reasoning behind the saying “There’s a fine line between love and hate.”

I find this to be particularly vexing when it comes to my own kids (I owe the inspiration for this post to my son during our morming commute on three trains to school this mornin) because we are often advised to call to mind or heart the feeling of a mother for her child when trying to understand metta. Perhaps it’s just that a mother’s love is qualitatively different than a father’s but it worries me that I can so quickly slip into an aversive way of interacting with my own beloved children.

My only strategy at present is to carefully watch my mind and curb my speech so that the first tool that I reach for when parenting isn’t the barred-teeth threat or the exasperated scream. May my children be well, happy and peaceful and may they be raised in a home filled with love and understanding.





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  1. Don’t they just, show us more clearly than anyone the best and worst of ourselves lol! I find it helps to throw away the big stick we use to beat ourself with when we behave less than divinely and forgive ourselves like our children do. Saying sorry, helps them realise we are human too and how do deal with their own misdemeanours. keep up the good work from one mummy to another xox

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