Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 01/01/2013

Guerrilla Sitting

I think the one thing that characterizes formal practice in the midst of a young family is that it proceeds much like guerrilla warfare. Fifteen minutes here, ten minutes there…in effect, I find I’m always on the lookout for a moment when I can slip away to meditate. Probably the single biggest obstacle to this style of practice is the hindrance of doubt: doubting whether its worth the effort at all, questioning just what it is I’m doing here as my mind races about bouncing off the imagined confines of the beginning bell and the bell to come in a scant dozen minutes. Really though, when I am able to overcome my doubt and frustration over the shoddiness of guerrilla practice I find that I’m able to feel my way into a few moments of peace where I’m able to take a real interest in the breath. And, then, as quickly as it came it goes again. Yes, it is not the ideal situation for developing jhana but it is perfect, as my teacher calls it, parami practice.

Sukhita hontu!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: Al-Qaeda, Ayman al-Zawahiri, child rearing, Colombia, Communist Party of the Philippines, Guerrilla warfare, meditation, Mindanao, parami, Somalia, United States

Posted by: Michael | 12/31/2012

Right Effort and the Difficult

After my interview yesterday I have decided to devote a little more time during my formal practice to anapanasati. If I am to be brutally honest, I have been resistant to doing so precisely because it has been so difficult for me. Nonetheless, I feel that my detour (albeit almost three years in length) has served me well and helped me to approach the quandary and the practice in a healthier way.

What I have learned by experimenting with other themes and without much guidance is that none of these practices come easy to me. All require work and diligence and, as with any craft, a good teacher is essential. I feel that I learned a great many things in the absence of a parisa (spiritual community) but have gone as far as I can in that direction at the moment. Fortunately, I have learned to love, forgive and, above all, appreciate myself enough to do things which don’t come easy without beating myself up over it. Even better, I think I can finally start to cut my brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles in the Dhamma some slack and allow them to mean just as well as I do while being just as fallible as I am. At least I aspire to do so.

Sabbe satta sukhita hontu!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Gratitude, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, anapanasati sutta, appreciation, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dharma, difficult, Gautama Buddha, kalyanamitta, parisa, Relationships, Religion and Spirituality, right effort, self-love, Teacher

Posted by: Michael | 12/31/2012

My Teacher

I had my annual interview with the teacher who I feel most indebted to for introducing me to the lineage I practice in and for encouraging me to take up certain practices (he was the first to acquaint me with the uposatha). Still, things haven’t always been that rosy.

I had been bouncing around the Zen and vipassana scenes for awhile and not really finding anywhere that inspired me to stick around. One night at NY Insight my soon-to-be teacher was giving the Dhamma talk and leading the meditation. I recall that during the question period I gave him a sketch of my practice and he told me that I needed to pick a tradition and go with it. So, I picked his group and have been practicing on and off with him for years.

Call it youth or just plain arrogance but I was quick to pick apart his Dhamma talks and even offer my own barbed questions. Eventually, after several years I became disenchanted and, with another friend from the group, split off to do our own thing. We really had quite a high opinion of ourselves and held a low opinion of the group. I hate to admit just how proud and deluded I was at the time. I was so ready to find fault and judge everyone that I almost can’t believe I thought I was practicing the Dhamma.

Over time my friend and I drifted apart and I believe he has drifted away from the Dhamma completely. Then, suddenly, a good kalyanamitta of mine was suddenly killed and my teacher called to let me know. The whole experience of coming back into the fold and being with the community again in the context of the death of our dear friend snapped me out of it for long enough to realize that I needed to make my way back.

Almost two years have passed and though there have been some bumps and hiccups I feel more indebted than ever to the man who I consider my first teacher. Where before I couldn’t forgive him for being human and imperfect today I understand just how hard it is to be those things and still aspire to practice and teach. I truly owe him a debt that it will be hard to repay in this and many a life to come. May we dwell often on the gifts we have received from our teachers and be ever ready to repay their kindness.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dana, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Gratitude, Theravada | Tags: Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dharma, fault-finding, Gautama Buddha, gratitude, judgement, kalyanamitta, Question Period, Teacher, teachers, Theravada, Zen

Posted by: Michael | 12/29/2012

Courage

During my time studying and practicing the Dhamma I don’t believe I have ever come across a sutta or gatha that specifically discusses courage. Courage, here taken to mean the willingness to confront fearful situations and still act skillfully, seems to be taken as a given but never enunciated as a separate virtue in and of itself. It definitely requires courage to face oneself in meditation or to take the leap of renunciation (even if only in a small way). But, it appears that courage per se is considered to be so ancillary as to not merit a mention in the lists (please correct me if I’m wrong).

Because my personality is largely conditioned by fear I think that this question has an importance for me which it would not for others. For a long time I wondered why fear wasn’t included in the list of hindrances until I came to the (as always provisional) understanding that fear should be subsumed under aversion. Because I trust in the teachings of the Buddha moreso than I trust in my own meandering reasonings and postulations I have half a hunch that courage is perhaps subsumed under another factor or virtue. But just what would that be?

I’m most inclined to turn to the paramis and place courage under the rubric of viriya or aditthana but the etymology of the word seems to suggest that it should be more closely related to metta. My own amateur etymological analysis would deduce that courage comes from the French for heart so it would mean something akin to “heartfulness”. In Italian, a language I actually speak, coraggio comes from the same root and can be roughly translated as bravery. So, where does this leave me? Honestly, less certain than before I started but perhaps I can just be open to finding out by keeping the question bubbling away in a back room somewhere.

May we all have the courage to keep coming back to the present moment and understand that this is where both suffering and its ending are found. Bhavatu sabba mangalam.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, courage, metta, parami, paramita, suffering, viriya, virtue

Posted by: Michael | 12/28/2012

Happy Uposatha – The Last Observance of 2012

Today’s uposatha kind of took me by surprise. You see, last night for the first time in as long as I can remember, I stayed up reading a book until the wee hours of the morning–I believe it was 1:30AM when I went to sleep. Normally I get up around 4:00am but I obviously felt the need for a little more sleep so didn’t make it out of bed until around 6am today. Once I got my bearings I realized that we were due for an uposatha and quickly took the precepts and sat for a quick 15 minutes before the wife and kids awoke.

Still, partly as a result of the subject of the book World War Z (yes, I was reading trash) and partly due to sleep deprivation today finds me in a weird headspace. In my second sitting of the day I kept having recurring visions of the undead in mind which is largely the reason I had sworn off TV shows like the Walking Dead and surprised myself by indulging so completely last night. I had resolved to give up such shows and forms of diversion because my psyche is just too impressionable. For days after I walked the premier of the Walking Dead my sits would be filled with ghastly images and the same would happen at night. Just the thought that I could die with such a thought being the last thing to ever pass through my mind and be responsible for the birth linking consciousness was enough to make swear it off.

Obviously that didn’t work. What I did do today and have done in the past is to send metta to nightmarish visions as they arise and have found that to be a useful technique. Nonetheless I’m still left with the question of why I’m so drawn to scare myself silly in this way despite the fact that no answer would ever be satisfactory.

Anyhow, I wish all of you a fruitful uposatha. May we nurture our minds with Dhamma and seek to consume only that which is wholesome and necessary to tread the path to Awakening. Be well!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: birth-linking consciousness, climate, Conditions and Diseases, Gautama Buddha, health, Mental Health, Reading, Sleep deprivation, Sleep Disorders, uposatha, World War Z

Posted by: Michael | 12/27/2012

Ingratitude

In Islam those who don’t believe in Allah are called kafirun which, I have read, means not solely those without faith but those who are ungrateful as well. Obviously such an idea can only be stretched so much when speaking of the Dhamma but the sentiment which underlies the concept is what fascinates me. In the spirit of my resolve not to complain it seems quite apropos to spend some time thinking about the meaning of contentment, gratitude and their opposites.

What does it mean to be ungrateful for the conditions in which we find ourselves? Surely it doesn’t amount to the depths of sin to which ingratitude and disbelief would for a Muslim but there is still something to it isn’t there? To me it seems that the idea of a kafir as someone who is ungrateful belies an understanding of the separation between ourselves and the wholesomeness of contentment. Yeah, it’s nothing so nearly as grandiose as separation from the Almighty but I feel it speaks to something similar. Then again, it is early and I could be completely missing the mark.

May I seek to be grateful for my blessing and cultivate contentment here and now.

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Posted in Aditthana, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Gratitude, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Allah, common misconceptions, Invitation to Islam, Islam, middle-east, misconceptions about islam, Muhammad, Muslim, politics, Quran, religion, Religion and Spirituality, Social Aspects, spirituality

Posted by: Michael | 12/26/2012

The Day After

It’s the day after Christmas and although I don’t really celebrate the holiday (beyond getting together with family) and despite the fact that I never stopped working altogether I am feeling somewhat disappointed to have to go back to work. It’s strange to me and certainly a vestige of my childhood conditioning but would be compelling enough to determine the course of my day were I not to have shone the light of awareness on it.

In regard to my resolve to abstain from complaining and unskillful speech, I as yet am finding it a fertile and rich source of inspiration. This particular training rule is especially relevant to me as complaining is one of my ways of interacting and bonding with others which was learned from a very young age. Included in this is sarcasm, snide and cutting remarks and a host of other unskillful verbal behaviors. For a long time I have struggled to put Right Speech into practice so I hope that this aditthana will help me to get a foothold. Furthermore, how can I claim to be cultivating the brahmaviharas when my very speech is often belittling, derisive and hurtful? The truth is that I can’t and although it may be “too hard” for me to relinquish being a funny guy I can certainly stop being a “whiner.”

May I be ever mindful of my words and may I speak only from care and concern. May I abandon the three poisonous roots of speech and cultivate the path to liberation.

Musavada veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami.
Pisunaya vacaya veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami.
Pharusaya vacaya veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami.
Sampapphalapa veramani sikkhapadam samadiyami.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: aditthana, brahmavihara, complaining, Dhamma, disappointment, right speech

Posted by: Michael | 12/25/2012

Contentment and Complaints

Today, during my breath meditation session, I kept coming back to the thought that, even if deeper concentration isn’t developed it’s okay. In fact, just being with the breath and the ten thousand thoughts that arise is a gift as long as I’m able to hold it all with an open heart. It’s always difficult to try to put into words the implicit understandings that arise during meditation but I think that the gist of it is just this: all moments and all experience can be used to develop our mindfulness and openness of heart.

So, sorry if I’m not being particularly clear or articulate but I’m inspired yet again to reaffirm my commitment to cultivating the heart and finding the good in the moment. In this spirit, I want to undertake to refine my speech and remove the dross of complaining and sarcasm. I feel that I’ve tried this before but I hope that by making a “public” announcement I will feel less inclined to give up my determination.

Here are some sites I’ve found that I hope will help me and anyone else who happens to stumble upon this post:

10 Ways to Complain Less and Be Happier: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/10-ways-to-complain-less-and-be-happier/

3 Ways to Stop Complaining: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rory-vaden/stop-complaining_b_1600210.html

How to Stop Complaining and Start Living: http://crucialhabits.com/how-to-stop-complaining.html

5 Tips to Stop Complaining at Work: http://istopcomplaining.com/2012/09/22/5-tips-to-stop-complaining-at-work/

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Posted in Aditthana, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation | Tags: Alternative, Anapanasati, breath meditation, breathing meditation, Buddhism, Complaint, Customer, health, Heart Disease, IBM, India, meditation, meditation session, Mental Health, morning thoughts, Ofcom, Religion and Spirituality, Shopping, TalkTalk, thousand thoughts, United States

Posted by: Michael | 12/24/2012

Sneaking Away

The holidays always present challenges to maintaining a formal practice for those of us whose families aren’t Buddhist. My own extended family is an even mix of Catholics and Muslims so from Ramadan through New Year‘s it can be quite a challenge to achieve any kind of continuity. As a result I have taken to snatching whatever moments I can to practice in my in-laws’ basements, storage rooms and closets. Now I am sure that there are those who would recommend that I simply dispense with formal meditation altogether until things return to normal but I would like to assure them that what I’m doing barely constitutes meditation unless you include mindfulness of the screaming child slapping the back of your head in the steps of anapanasati. Anyway, perhaps the best reason I have for trying to get in some sittings in the midst of these holiday storms is to reaffirm, if only to myself, my commitment to the Dhamma and the inclination and direction to which I wish to orient my life. Mettaya.

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, Buddhism, Christmas, Dhamma, Dharma, Extended family, holidays, meditation, Muslim, New Year, New Years, Ramadan

Posted by: Michael | 12/23/2012

Mantras and Malas – Part II

As I alluded to yesterday, my mantra practice isn’t really orthodox (perhaps I should say orthopraxic) but it has served me well in situations where concentration practices just aren’t possible. In essence, I use my make-shift mantra-mala practice more as a means of calling to mind the qualities of loving-kindness, compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity rather than as a true meditation practice. What a “true meditation practice” might be or how you would define it is nothing I wish to get in to right now but suffice it to say that it serves to keep my mind inclined towards qualities I want to cultivate and develop.

Still with the in-laws so I can’t really devote much time or attention to this post. Sukhi hotu!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: compassion, Dhamma, equanimity, loving-kindness, mala, mantra, sympathetic joy