Posted by: Michael | 03/15/2013

Disappointment

A major theme here, due to the extreme poverty, is theft. Of course there are the big thefts such as grand larceny, stick ups and muggings but the more corrosive and insidious forms are the little indiscretions that are taken by people you want to trust. Hired household help is the norm here, especially among expats, and it seems that we forget all too easily the huge gulf that separates us from them in terms of material wealth. So it should perhaps come as no surprise when someone you have knownn for years takes some liberties and helps themselves to a few dollars here or there. It shouldn’t but it always does.

Over the years I have seen this scenario play out time and again where people we loved and trusted steal and deceive and although you would expect anger to be the first response it isn’t. Instead it’s usually a deep feeling of hurt that causes you to question the possibility of ever trusting anyone. So, what is the appropriate response? I suppose that once we have removed them from a place where they can continue to do harm compassion coupled with equanimity is the only appropriate response. May we all be free of suffering and the causes of suffering.

Posted by: Michael | 03/13/2013

Discipline

Monks chanting at a wedding ceremony in Ban Do...

So far I have managed to keep up a rather good discipline with regard to my formal meditation and chanting although I missed the uposatha completely due to travelling all day (I owe a friend’s blog for reminding me that I’d missed) and was too tired to chant the Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta the last two nights. So, this morning I decided to strike while the iron was hot and chant the Dhammacakka sutta before meditating.

I don’t know if it was a result of the extra chanting or simply just the freshness of the night air and the sound of the crashing surf but my sitting today actually contained some moments of concentration  More than anything else I was just happy to b able to practice and felt a sense of ease that has been pretty elusive of late. At any rate, there is definitely something to be said for discipline as keeping to my resolves as best as I can (without too much recrimination when I can’t) brightens the mind on its own without further need of reflection.

Yes, there are certainly times when chanting the sutta or sitting for 45 minutes can seem inglorious or even downright torture but, really, what ese would I be doing with the mind? Nothing good to be sure. Anyway, may we all resolve more firmly to practice the Dhamma regardless of external circumstance so that we can be as ready as possible for the moment of our death. Bhavatu sabba mangalam!

 

Posted by: Michael | 03/13/2013

Mindfulness of Fun

Read the text. A symbol of the eight fold path...

 

Finding time for the Dhamma can be especially hard when one finds oneself in the midst of vacationers and bone’s every whim is catered to. My family and I are visiting my stepmom and father at their home in the Caribbean and it is a veritable Wonderland for my children but makes working (which I have committed to do during this trip and meditating hard to do. But, as I write I see that I have given way once more to fault-finding rather than appreciating the opportunity we have to enjoy ourselves and spend time together as a family. And it is precisely at these times when I feel most at a loss. When it comes to teaching my kids life lessons or sharing knowledge of the Dhamma I feel like I’m in my element but just having fun? Well, that certainly doesn’t come easily.

 

Seeing that I am faced with a resounding “Why?” but I really don’t have an answer. It feels like a fear-possibly a fear of being swept up or of being caught off guard by unexpected tragedy that I have carried with me since childhood. And even she. I see this and the idea of surrender arises I am met with the thought that the Buddha and the arahant disciples never let themselves just have fun did they? Thankfully, as Thanissaro Bhikkhu says, right cloning is not a factor of the Eightfold Path so I should worry less about cloning the behavior of arahants from the outside and bring awareness to whatever it is I’m doing, including having fun.

 

 

 

 

Posted by: Michael | 03/12/2013

Airports and Anxieties

Today was a day spent in cars and planes, waiting in interminable lines and dealing with arcane bureaucracies. Now, with it all behind me I see what it was almost impossible to believe at 4:00 am: although unpleasant at times nothing I experienced was unbearable or insurmountable.  And that’s always been the issue wt me for as long as  can remember. Somehow I manage to believe with utter certitude that there are certain events which I won’t be able to deal with and that will spell the end of me (whatever that means) and am eternally surprised to find that this is not the case.

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Posted by: Michael | 03/10/2013

Renunciation and the Woeful Realms

English: Ksitigarbha, the earth store bodhisat...

Over the past few days, largely I’m sure due to my preoccupation with the idea of Hell and the duggati realms, I have been taken a much closer look at where my mind inclines and the types of things it likes to feed itself. I see that I am often tempted to linger over pretty faces, to indulge in angry thoughts and to summarily judge in the most negative fashion anyone who happens to have the misfortune to enter into my imagination. And, what will be the result of such inclinations?

Surely, even if one doesn’t give credence to the idea of the nirayas, the results of such thinking and acting can’t be peace and contentment. Call it maturation or simply wearying of indulging in the same things but I have begun to see renunciation in a much more positive light. Rather than purposely fanning the flames I can practice Right Effort by working to abandon whatever is inflaming my desire. By doing so I have seen, at least a handful of times, that peace comes more quickly to the mind and my practice is strengthened in turn. May we all know the peace of Unbinding!

Posted by: Michael | 03/09/2013

Hell

Dante And Virgil In Hell by William-Adolphe Bo...

Don’t ask me why but I have been doing a lot of thinking about the subject of Hell recently. Actually, it all started with my interest in NDEs and how te experiences map onto Buddhist cosmology as found in the suttas and commentary. I have, for many years now, been fascinated with the subject of ghosts, rebirth and all things which many would consider to be paranormal and I suppose much of it has to do with my preoccupation with death from a young age (don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t ever really a Goth kid I just mean have have always been preoccupied with my death and that of others).

But, I digress. To return to the topic at hand, perhaps due to my easy acceptance of the doctrine of rebirth and earth-bound spirits, I happen to be in the rather unfashionable position of actually believing that Hell is a literal place where one goes when one has continuously broken the precepts and otherwise acted unskillfully as a rule. Reading the suttas I have always gotten the impression that falling into Hell can happen rather easily but perhaps this is more indicative of my own penchant to dwell on the negative than anything else. Yet, as the excerpt taken from the Petavatthu below illustrates, even something as seemingly innocuous as our speech can land us in Hell for eons only to be reborn as pig-faced petas:

THE PIG-FACED GHOST

This story was told while the Master was dwelling at Kalandakanivāpa in the Bamboo Grove near Savatthi about a certain pig-faced ghost. Long ago, in the time of the teaching of the Lord Buddha Kassapa, there was a brother who was self-controlled in body, but uncontrolled in speech, and who used to revile and abuse the brethren. When he died, he was reborn in hell. During the time intervening between the appearance of another Buddha he continued to burn there, and being reborn from thence in the period of this Buddha’s appearance, through the ripening of his karma he came to life as a ghost at the foot of the Vulture Peak near Rājagaha, being tormented by hunger and thirst. His body was golden in colour, and his face like a pig’s face.

Now the elder Nārada dwelt on the Vulture Peak, and early in the morning, after attending to his bodily needs, took his bowl and robe and went to Rājagaha, wandering about for alms. On the way he saw the ghost, and, asking him what he had done 1 spoke this verse:

All golden does thy body seem,
In all directions does it shine;
But yet thy face is as a pig’s,
What former action hast thou done?

The ghost, thus asked by the elder what he had done, explained in a verse:

With body self-controlled was I,
Yet was I uncontrolled in speech;
Therefore in colour am I so
As thou beholdest, Nārada.

So the ghost, being asked by the elder, explained the matter, and gave the reason; and, exhorting the elder, spoke this verse:

This to thee, Nārada, I tell,
Thou hast thyself my fate beheld:
Commit no evil with thy mouth,
Become not thou a pig-faced ghost.

Then the elder Nārada went for alms, and, returning in the afternoon with his food, related the matter, while the Master sat in the midst of the fourfold assembly. The Master said, “Even before now I have seen this being.” And he declared the doctrine, explaining the manifold worthlessness and evil results due to misbehavior in speech, and the blessings resulting from right speech. And his teaching was beneficial to the assembly present.

English: 19th century Burmese temple painting....

So, what do we make of it? I happen to be more inclined to orthodoxy than iconoclasm so don’t look to me for revisionism. Rather, I think it speaks to our seemingly ageless refusal to see the truth and to believe that our words and deeds, even our most private thoughts, all have real results. I know many people from a wide variety of backgrounds have eschewed the very thought of Hell or at most they have psychologized  it and say things like Hell only exists in the mind of one who is angry, etc… But, why cherry-pick? If we believe all of the other teachings of the Lord Buddha why would we dismiss this one?

Okay, I can feel myself tensing up around this so I will beg your pardon and step down from my imaginary pulpit. I have to admit that, even in the face of  the gaping  maws of Hell there are many times when I find it hard to do the right thing. May we all have the wisdom to see cause and effect clearly to the faith that all of our actions will bear fruit.

Posted by: Michael | 03/08/2013

At the Moment of Death

I read something this morning, a post on a Buddhist discussion board, that prompted me to approach my formal practice with a renewed sense of urgency. In short, the person who posted asked the utterly simple and ridiculously important question “What to do when I’m dying?” I have had a preoccupation with death (my own and those around me) for as long as I can remember and although I wouldn’t go quite so far as to say our entire practice is about preparing for this inevitable moment, I do believe it is the best measure and ultimate crucible of it.

So, as I asked myself how I would approach the moment of death and considered the replies that the question elicited on the board I realized that one good way to prepare would be to bring the imminence of death into my meditation not as the theme but as a back drop and perception to inform my efforts and curb my mind. By using the mind to fabricate the perception of my last moments when the mind slipped off the breath I found that I was much less likely to slip off and away and came back more quickly. Of course, anicca vata sankhara holds true for all phenomena and by the end I found myself beginning to doubt the perception of death and even questioning its efficacy. All of which is not to say it wasn’t useful oor that I wouldn’t experiment with meditating on the breath and imagining that I am breathing my last. If anything, the descent into confusion and doubt towards the end of the sit seems indicative of a mind that is tiring and needs to be more consistently excericised.

My apologies for rambling and I thank any and all who read this for their indulgence. Vivere disce cogita mori. May we all live by the light of death and taste true happiness in this very life!

Posted by: Michael | 03/07/2013

Equanimity and Recollection of the Triple Gem

The last week or so of formal meditation hasn’t produced any deep concentration and as much as I am tempted to regard my sits with disdain I have to admit that, upon reflection, there has been a lot going that I feel must have some value if I can only hold and process it correctly.

This morning’s session was a constant struggle to stay with the breath and I began to notice those areas in the body where I was literally leaning in towards the breath. My upper back and shoulders were continually clenching and I noticed similar patterns of tension in my head and face. Somewhere around the 25 minute mark it dawned on me that this was the situation at hand and that no amount of wishful thinking or condemnation would change that. I realized that the brahma vihara called for was upekkha, equanimity, and even bringing this to mind and inclining the heart in that direction made the tumult somewhat easier to bear. So it was that I sat with my monkey mind, trying to tempt it back to thed breath time and again, and realizing in a half-lit kind of way that my job was to work on causes and leave the effects to sort themselves out later.

I must admit that my insight into equanimity was superficial at best and has apparently not penetrated beyond the intellect for I still find myself discontent with what today’s sit had to offer. The one unquestionably bright moment was when, in desperation, I turned to the thought of the Triple Gem and how meeting with the Tisarana has been the greatest of blessings. Circumstances are constantly in flux but it seems to me that the cultivation of equanimity and remembrance of the Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha need to take a more prominent role in my life and meditation.

Posted by: Michael | 03/06/2013

Bait and Tackle

A thought that came up yesterday during my morning sit which I feel can provide a lot of grist for the contemplative mill is that of my true commitment to the practice. I don’t know if I have written this before but I have had a fear of flying for years and, although my practice has helped immensely with it (I no longer feel compelled to take multi-day bus rides instead of flying), it remains an issue for my interior life to this day. So, yesterday morning one of the random thoughts and scenes that flashed through the mind was of my family and being involved in an air crash. In the vision I imagined my consciousness which I saw as a Casper like ghost of myself, being ejected from my body and I at once realized that the right thing to was to let go.

But, I didn’t want to.

I saw just how deep the hooks of affection and craving have worked themselves into my mind in a way that I don’t think I ever have previously. I see that I really am fascinated by the myriad sense objects of my life and that the business I bemoan is, at least in part, an object of my craving. So, what does this all mean?

Well, nothing particularly new except that I have seen something about the mind that I didn’t quite believe before. In light of this the only honest thing to do is to keep practicing with a sense of urgency inspired by the knowledge of just how deeply I have swallowed the hook.  In this way I hope not to squander the gifts of the Triple Gem. Sabbe satta sabba dukhha pamuccantu!

Posted by: Michael | 03/05/2013

Happy Uposatha – The Guitar Lesson

This morning’s sit was interesting in that it provided me with a lot of insights to reflect on. But, being that time is short I think I’ll devote my time here to the point that made its impact felt most immediately today: the importance of kindness when practicing a skill.

Almost every morning I will hlp my son practice his guitar lessons for ten or fifteen minutes. As you may imagine, keeping a five year-old on task keep be difficult and the difficulty is made even greater when repitition is the order of the hour. For most of the time he has been playing I have alternated between giving into to my frustrations and harshly remonstrating him and trying to stifle my irritation with his inveterate silliness and lack of attention. In the end, we have both felt worse for the practice session more often than not.

This morning was different however. As I sat and watched my mind slip off of its object time and again and even (horror of horrors) adjusted my position it became very clear that I had a choice: I could punish myself and focus on what I had done wrong or I could congratulate myself on coming back to the breath. The choice may seem obvious but it hasn’t been quite the no-brainer it may seem for me for the better part of the last decade. Anyhow, choosing to put myh attention on what was being done right took a lack-luster sit that could have easily turned into a session of self-flagellation and turned it into a great learning experience. In addition, I was able to feel more ease and an overall sense of well-being that I sorely needed after the grueling day before.

So, returning to the guitar, I saw I had the same choice to make regarding my son and I chose to focus on what he was doing that was right. Much like in meditation, there were times when I had to gently remind him to return to the music on the page or to watch his fingering but this was in the spirit of love and kindness. I found myself genuinely proud of his accomplishments and the session went well with an ease that we have rarely enjoyed. May we all choose love and compassion in our lives and grow in the Dhamma!

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