And that seems to be precisely what is happening now. I have a sneaking suspicion that my getting sick has to do with all the driving I’ve done in the lasst three days but that is really just an aside. What is important is how I meet this messenger. So, how am I using this experience to see into the nature of reality and to prevent myself from squandering my life? Well, at least I can say that I have adverted to its presence as a reminder of the limitations of samsaric existence which is something I was failing to do all day.
Posted by: Michael | 09/08/2013
I am of the nature to sicken
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Theravada
Posted by: Michael | 09/07/2013
Travelling in Anger
Yesterday was spent almost entirely in the long drive from NYC to Western NY and, sadly, most of it was made amidst a blaze of fury and anger the likes of which I have not seen for some time. Due to a series of unfortunate occurrences my wife and I were not at our best as we awoke yesterday and sought to prepare ourselves and the kids for the six hour trip. So, what began as snappiness and irritation snowballed into a full scale verbal assault.
I won’t go into details because I’m firmly convinced that they don’t matter. What does matter to me is that I was seemingly uunable to put the brakes on or to keep my mouth shut. I have never thought of myself as vengeful but as I felt the sting of the words being hurled at me yesterday my first impulse was to strike back–to make the person hurting me hurt as well. Obviously this is not in line with the Dhamma but I remember clearly even now how helpless I felt against it and how there seemed to be no shelter from the storm. It seems to me that once we allow ourselves to take that first step towards aggression and irritation it becomes incredibly hard to turn back so I will work there. May we look after ourselves with ease and with our own true happiness in mind.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Gratitude, Karuna, Metta, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: anger, compassion, irritation, metta
Posted by: Michael | 09/05/2013
Seeing Goodness – Happy Uposatha
This morning as I roused the mind out of darkness it seemed to me that reflecting upon even the incidental goodness of others served best to brighten the mind. Remembering the loyalty and dedication of my employees during our move, the helpfulness of some of the new building’s maintenance workers and the hard work of my wife at home all brought light into my heart and quickened it.
Opening to mudita is very much like finding a buried treasure in one’s own backyard. It seems to me that there are almost endless possibilities to appreciate the goodness and good fortune of everyone we meet and the benefits strike me as limitless.
May all beings meet the Dhamma and find true release from suffering!
Posted by: Michael | 09/04/2013
Goodwill
I am constantly surprised and, of course, gladdened by the upwelling of goodwill and kindness that seems to arise as if out of the blue during the course of my commute. I suppose it’s no different than the arising of afflictive states and impulses–in other words, both skillful and unskillful states have their start in the types of actions to which the mind habitually inclines. No wonder, then, that metta for my fellow travelers arises since I spend part of each day preparing the mind to be gentle and kind.
And, as much as I know the truth of kamma on an intellectual level, it is seeing it at work in my daily life that truly strengthens my conviction in the efficacy of my intentional actions. Furthermore, seeing that the Dhamma of the Lord really does describe the workings of the world gives me allb the more faith in the Triple Gem.
Posted by: Michael | 09/03/2013
Brightening the Mind
Based upon my teacher’s advice to reduce the amount of time I devote to formal anapanasati and focus my efforts more upon brightening the mind I have reduced my duration from 60 minutes to 25 minutes. For at least two months I have been struggling with anxiety and mental darkness the likes of which I can only compare to the depths of adolescence and it seemed that my practice was simply not up to the challenge. In a way, I had stumbled upon the importance of working to bring light and energy into the heart through the brahmaviharas but then I would slog through 45 minutes of anapanasati without catching more than a handful of breaths.
I think what my teacher is pointing to is the truism that direct, unyielding force is not always the most effective approach. In this case softness seems to be the best choice to overcome the seemingly unrelenting stream of restlessness and worry. May I remain ever mindful of my commitment to the good, of my resolve upon liberation and my desire to be a helping hand to all beings.
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Gratitude, Karuna, Metta, Mudita, Parenting, Practice at Work, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada | Tags: Buddha, Dhamma, karuna, metta, mudita
Posted by: Michael | 09/02/2013
Adornments for the Mind
I have had a heck of a time trying to rouse myself and get to work today. I truly feel as if my energy is at an all time low despite having rested for most of the day yesterday. Yet, I consider myself blessed given the reminder of the teachings I received last night. If I have taken away anything it is that I must work hard to brighten the mind when it darkens like this for time is ever so short. May I be service today in whatever ways I can and may my acts of generosity be as adornments for the mind.
Posted by: Michael | 09/02/2013
Appreciative Joy
For most of the day I felt broken in body and, consequently I suppose, in spirit. I believe I may have pushed myself well beyond the point of exhaustion in the preceding three days and I was paying for it today. My mind was enshrouded in darkness and despair and I felt distinctly strange as I step out the door of my apartment building and onto the street. Making my way up 14th Street I had the impression that people were giving me quizical looks and staring at me to the point that I actually had to check if there were something on my face. And, as I got closer to Union Square, the strangeness only seemed to intensify. The throngs of people all began to seem as characters in a daytime fantasmagoria and I believe there were moments of downright panic. This was the mind state I brought with me to the meditation class that I was co-managing.
The buzzing strangeness only began to dissipate after I completely felt some moments of abject terror during the meditation period but true relief only came as I listened to the Dhamma talk. My teacher was exhorting us not to squander our lives in heedlessness and to train the mind in whatever way we could and to recognize our blessings to be born human and have the opportunity to practice. And, it was hearing this and the questions of my brothers and sisters in the Dhamma that truly brought home to my how grateful I am for all of this: for the Buddha, the Dhamma, the Sangha, my teachers, to all people dedicated to realizing goodness, to you reading this now. Without spiritual friends, without the encouragement of others I would be lost. I would have never found my way at all. And, although words cannot express the gratitude I have for all of you I will say it all the same:
Thank you.
Posted by: Michael | 08/31/2013
Work
The last three days have been pretty hard to endure and keep my the Dhamma in mind. We have been moving the business and each day has been about 14 to16 straight hours of non-stop work. The reason I mention this is for two reasons: the first being that it is surprising just how mucch I will push myself in the pursuit of money and securityj the second that working like this never guarantees anything will come out of it since you are putting your faith in the external world with its everchanging conditions. Why is it so hard to do what is required for one’s own, true happiness?
Posted in Dhamma | Tags: daily life, Dhamma, lay life, work
Posted by: Michael | 08/30/2013
Bud-dho
This morning I didn’t have the presence or strength of mind to sit for more than fifteen minutes being worn out from packing up the business for the move all day and expecting another day of the same. So, I opted for simple anapanasati to calm the mind and still the racing heart. At first I simply counted breaths but I kept noting a tensionn, a strong sense of dukkha. Fabricating compassion for the suffering I found some relief but this soon shifted to the remembrance of my intention to practice meditation out of love and compassion for myself. Allowing my mind to proceed along these lines I recollected the infinite compassion of the Lord Buddha and I settled into the rhythm of “bud-dho” with my attention moving between a recollection of the Buddha and the breath. Even now I’m somewhat overcome by the upswelling of gratitude, devotion and awe but these kind of displays don’t do so well on crosstown buses so I’m trying to be discrete. Nonetheless, if nothing else this morning’s short sit has reminded me of the preciousness of the Tathagatha and of the meaning of true compassion.
Namo buddhaya!
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Gratitude, Karuna, Theravada | Tags: Anapanasati, buddanussati, compassion, gratitude, karuna, LOrd Buddha, namo buddhaya
Posted by: Michael | 08/28/2013
Wrong Side of the Bed
Despite my best efforts I seem to have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Formal meditation was a definite struggle and it was all I could do to keep by bottom moored to the floor let alone anchor my attention to the breath. In addition, I have been dogged by a persistent discomfort in my gut–the likely result of too much hot sauce on my cous cous and beans last night. The effect of the body on an untrained mind is truly spectacular and something which I all too easily forget.
Anyway, as the morning continued my irritation only built to the point at which I found myself haphazardly crossing 14th Street weaving in and out of buses and cars without a thought for my safety. And as a bus pulled out and headed straight toward me I realized what a state I was in and that I needed to snap out of it. So, I took heed and am not taking the warning lightly. Imagine what would have happened had I died in a state of agitation. Better still, my own frothing rage is what would have put me in the position in the first place. As it stands, there is still the discontent and irritation bubbling away in the background but I am purposefully putting the mind elsewhere until I can work with it or it passes away of its own accord.
Posted in Anapanasati, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Karuna, Parenting, Practice at Work, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada | Tags: anger, desire, disappointment, heedlessness, irritation, restlessness
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