I have been thinking quite a lot about my failings to adhere to my self-imposed practice commitments and along with the fleeting feelings of guilt have also wanted to look a little more closely at precisely what discipline in this sense means. It certainly seems to me to be necessary to do so from time to time even if one is able to discharge with one’s obligations simply to prevent a kind of de facto attachment to rites and rituals that serve no Dhammic purpose.
It is quite obvious to me that my attachment to formal meditation does not meet the criteria for being a useless ritual but what about my resolve to memorize the Dhammacakkapavattana Sutta? Many nights I find myself rushing through the sutta without pausing to consider even a word of the Lord Buddha’s first discourse. Surely, this type of practice is little better than a compulsive ritual designed to ward off anxiety but, even here, it seems to me there is some merit in it if only to familiarize oneself with the words. Must it be all or nothing or is it enough to be aware while continuing to incline myself in the direction of a more holistic engagement?
The answer now seems quite clear so I do apologize if I have wasted anyone’s time and, as always, I thank you all for your indulgence. Sukhita hontu!
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 