266. I do not say that the attainment of profound knowledge comes straight away; on the contrary, it comes by a gradual training, a gradual doing, a gradual practice.
Majjhima Nikaya I.479
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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: insight, profound Knowledge, wisdom
My experience with the restaurant owner the other day (yes, I’m still stock on it ) provoked a number of varied and size responses from family and friends. Not surprisingly, i have found the most slave in the advice of my Dhamma friends who have reminded me to let go and cultivate a heart of love. Naturally, friends and loved ones have also weighed in and showed their solidarity with me by suggesting i lane more negative reviews for the unpleasant chef. And although i completely get it i just don’t think it is possible anymore.
In order to live my life with add little regret add possible and to be as authentic and true to my belief and practice as i can requires me to give up this grudge. I am forgiving this woman for scaring my child, effectively stealing his ball and being a poor example of an adult human not because she deserves it but because i do. I care enough about the person i want to be for myself, my family and all beings not to let greed, anger or delusion decide the course of my life. So, no, there will be no more reviews and, unless there’s a really good reason, this will be the last post about her.
So, Roxanne Spruance, i ask your forgiveness for any harm i have caused you through body, speech and mind offer you complete forgiveness as well. May all beings live happily!
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Karuna, Theravada | Tags: compassion, forgiveness, kingsley, kingsleynyc, Roxanne Spruance
264. Whoever makes love grow boundless,
And set his mind for seeing the end of birth,
His fetters are worn thin.
If he loves even a single being,
Good will follow.
But the noble one
With compassionate heart for all mankind
Generates abounding good.
Anguttara Nikaya IV.151
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How far from this ideal has my habitual state of mind been over the last few days? I am so fortunate to have the Dhamma and good kalyanamittas to have helped me navigate this typhoon of delusion and aversion that threatened to swamp not just my practice but my entire life as well.
I have a sneaking suspicion that my encounter with the restaurant owner would have gone very much differently if i had applied more energy and effort during my cold and sat the length of my normal sessions. Instead, i made the decision to show myself “compassion” by letting the mind and heart wallow in delusion. It is clear to me now that, in my car at least, such a choice is not the compassionate resolve, rather it is a path fraught with danger and paved by laziness and dissipation. May i do better and resolve to always use every last ounce of energy for the practice of awakening. May i never forget the lesson learned and may we all practice diligently to free ourselves from suffering.
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Karuna, Metta, Theravada | Tags: anger, compassion, delusion, effort, energy, forgiveness
Fortunately, it strikes as a rare occurrence that I find myself having to force myself to put down anger and resentment towards someone. Unfortunately, it has now happened and I’m struggling with it in a way that I seldom have. So, what happened?
In short, my son and I were playing with a soccer ball at our local park when he kicked his ball over the fence from the park next door. We went around the corner to find out if we could go back behind the restaurant or have someone else do it when we were totally caught off guard by the aggressive and rude attitude of the chef/owner Roxanne Spruance of the soon-to-be Kingsley restaurant. I don’t know exactly why it went so badly but suffice it to say that my son no longer has his ball as she would not help us to retrieve it.
You see, I posted this review on the restaurants FB page and it has since been removed (they removed the ability to post reviews at all) which is their prerogative but I am still struggling with the need to make this woman suffer in a way that would somehow equal the fear and anxiety she caused my son. Is it skillful? Of course not but it is honestly how I feel. I know that I could continue to leave reviews for her restaurant mentioning how unkind and crass her behavior was towards a child but would that “teach her a lesson?” Somehow I doubt it. And though I have not made a firm decision quite yet I am thinking that I will need to crush the urge to act with a sheer force of will before I lose any more peace of mind…
In the last few days i have been reminded of just how unpredictable it can be to live with a human body. Out of nowhere a cold has come and swept away all semblance of routine, forcing me to do all i can simply to make it through the day.
And yet, the Dhamma is still there. One thing i have noticed as i make my way through the streets everyday is that, especially since i began practicing tonglen again, when i lock eyes with someone who appears threatening i now can diffuse the situation by taking in the suffering that is causing them to want to cause harm and share worth them whatever goodness and peace i have in the moment. This may not seek like a big thing to many of you but, as a result of my kamma and growing up as a man in this society, i have often found myself on the verge of many a violent confrontation. In fact, in my younger years, i for into physical fights on a pretty regular basis. Despite being older i still see the seeds and roots of this behavior in the soil of the heart which is why such this seemingly alchemical transmutation is sick a miraculous gift to me.
This body is of the nature to sicken. Sickness is unavoidable.
This morning, after about a half an hour of anapanasati i began to realize that mind kept returning to certain unskilfull themes and our would be best if i exercised done Right Effort and attempted to prevent their arising and gathering more strength. The Five Subjects for Frequent Recollection have been a mainstay of my practice for some time but rarely have i done more than chant them before meditation or reflect upon them throughout the day. I have never spent time in seated meditation working with then until today and, one i remembered that they were not to be used as mental mallets with which to pummel myself, they began to do the work of centering the mind.
As the days go by, i realize how important bhavana is for my practice and, even when i am unable to do my 108 prostrations because i am sick (like today) i have come to the conviction that i simply can’t do without my morning and evening seated practice. Why? Because without it, reflections on the nature of life, on the Dhamma just can’t find their way in.
May we all practice diligently and develop our hearts.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Formal Meditation, Theravada | Tags: bhavana, Five Subjects for Frequent Recollection
258. Develop the meditation that is like water, for in so doing, pleasant and unpleasant sensory impressions that have arisen and taken hold of thought will not persist. Just as people wash away faeces and urine, spittle, pus and blood, and yet the water is not troubled, worried or disgusted – even so, develop the meditation that is like water.
Majjhima Nikaya I.423
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I am intrigued but completely at a loss. Is this verse meant to apply to all types of meditatons or a specific technique?
Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Buddhist meditation, meditation
The more i practice, the more i come to perceive that fear is often more dangerous than the situation it supposedly protecting us from. Things may have once been different in our shared, evolutionary past but an unending drip of cortisol and intermittent shots of adrenaline do little to help one avoid a slow sales day.
Perhaps thanks to the practice, i am able to bear witness to the contraction of the heart as it seeks to shield itself from the fear, knowing full well that in doing so it is also closing itself off from the possibility of liberation from the selfsame fear. And so, like the rest of my practice, i need to come back, to gently remind myself to return to kindness and to make the eternal leap of faith into vulnerability so that i can be present to the possibility of freedom.
May we all be free of fear and suffering!
This weekend had been exceedingly difficult despite the fact that i saw it coming. Fortunately i took the time tonight to sit for hour alternating between anapanasati and metta and i can now at least see the depressed and self-loathing mind states as impermanent and not-self. Funny how quickly we can forget but i guess that’s just a symptom of a mind overcome by delusion.
The kids started back to school this week and it had been a time of adjustment for all of us. In addition you the kids’ return to school, my wife has begun her last class in microbiology which means many an evening will be devoted to helping her set up experiments in our kitchen. Suffice it to say that all of this, along worth coaching my son’s soccer team leaves little time to decompress and i am one more seeing the results in an increase of irritation and anger in the mind. So, before it builds up anymore steam i want to take a minute to recognize the sowing caused by a life overburdened with responsibilities and take time for the next week or so to turn the light of metta and karuna inward. May i be free from suffering. May i always find waits to practice the Dhamma in every situation and may i ever hold all beings with a heart full of sympathy and goodwill.
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Cattāri Brahmavihārā 