Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 11/03/2015

Metta in a Nightmare

I rarely have dreams that radically delay from the mundane: so pedestrian are they, in fact, that it is a kind of running home between my wife and I. Rarer still are dreams which could be called nightmares but I believe I had one last night.

Although I don’t remember the details leading up to the scene in question, I somehow found myself in a dark bungalow at night. I seem to have gotten the feeling that it was my father’s house and that he was there with me although I don’t recall seeing him in the dream. At some point I realize that two, make silhouettes are beginning to materialize outside the lasts picture window that looks out onto a half completed deck and I realize that this is not right. I feel a sudden risk of fear and angry indignation and rush outside to literally pounce on the shades.

One there I jumped on them but come away only with their battered and mouth eaten jackets. I recall showing them to someone when I had come back in the house and pulling a piece of fabric or discarded paper from one of the pockets. At this point I turn my attention back to the window and everyday the two male shades have reappeared and that a third silhouette, apparently female, is beginning to materialize. I feel the urge to challenge them all again but I realize in that moment that it would be futile to do so. A thought pops into my head that if I continue to rant with anger and fear more of these costs will appear to feed on the negative energy so I begin at one to radiate metta towards them.

Strangely, I begin to waken from the dream while still doing metta and can get feel the presence of the shades. I am inclined to think that they were just a product of the mind but I continue to radiate metta for some time until I felt their energy dissipate.

All in all I was glad for the experience because it is proof to me that, even in the depths of delusion, the Dhamma had penetrated through to my habitual thinking. May we all continue to practice ardently and bring our minds and hearts in line with the Dhamma.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dream Yoga | Lucid Dreaming, Metta, Theravada | Tags: ghosts, hungry ghosts, metta, nightmares, shades

Posted by: Michael | 11/02/2015

Make No Distinction

On the past few days I have been restraining myself from acting on what sends to me to be an unusual influx of thoughts and perceptions based in ill will. Whether or is simply a result of an increased sensitivity, an actual increase in these types of thoughts or a combination of the two the fact remains that I am struggling to find an authentic and effective way of dealing and overcoming them. Fortunately, the teachings are ever at hand and I came across this gem this morning which, although it isn’t a technique or practice, is a good reminder to practice Right Intention.

306. A tree makes no distinction in the shade it gives. Even so, the meditator, the earnest student of meditation must make no distinction between any beings, by must develop love quite equally towards thieves, murderers, enemies and towards himself, thinking: “How may these beings be without enmity and without harm, how may they be at peace, secure and happy; how may they look after themselves?”

Milindapanha 410

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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Metta, Mudita, Theravada | Tags: ill-will

Posted by: Michael | 11/01/2015

7. Tirokudda Kanda — Hungry Shades Outside the Walls

Outside the walls they stand,
& at crossroads.
At door posts they stand,
returning to their old homes.
But when a meal with plentiful food & drink is served,
no one remembers them:
Such is the kamma of living beings.

Thus those who feel sympathy for their dead relatives
give timely donations of proper food & drink
— exquisite, clean —
[thinking:] “May this be for our relatives.
May our relatives be happy!”

And those who have gathered there,
the assembled shades of the relatives,
with appreciation give their blessing
for the plentiful food & drink:
“May our relatives live long
because of whom we have gained [this gift].
We have been honored,
and the donors are not without reward!”

For there [in their realm] there’s
no farming,
no herding of cattle,
no commerce,
no trading with money.
They live on what is given here,
hungry shades
whose time here is done.

As water raining on a hill
flows down to the valley,
even so does what is given here
benefit the dead.
As rivers full of water
fill the ocean full,
even so does what is given here
benefit the dead.

“He gave to me, she acted on my behalf,
they were my relatives, companions, friends”:
Offerings should be given for the dead
when one reflects thus
on things done in the past.
For no weeping,
no sorrowing
no other lamentation
benefits the dead
whose relatives persist in that way.
But when this offering is given, well-placed in the Sangha,
it works for their long-term benefit
and they profit immediately.

In this way
the proper duty to relatives has been shown,
great honor has been done to the dead,
and monks have been given strength:

The merit you’ve acquired
isn’t small.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: día de muertos, Halloween, Samhain

Posted by: Michael | 10/30/2015

Making Friends

Friendship. The Lord Buddha corrected Ananda when he asserted that noble friendship was only half of the holy life and stated it was no less than the whole of it. But, for those of us who find themselves in a society where spiritual practice is pushed to the back burner it is near impossible to know with whom association would be fruitful.

Furthermore, the real issue for me is one of time: with two kids and a business I often feel at a loss for time to do anything other than work, parent and practice. This has had a detrimental effect on my ability to get to know the parents in my daughter’s class but, when I think about it, the same holds true. Get togethers and meetings invariably involve alcohol and I often feel the need to hold back in my conversations for fear that the Dhamma would not be welcomed. Clearly this is my own problem but I have to admit they’re is some passion and suffering associated with the perception of bit being known or liked.

Reflecting on all this it now seems to me that the best way to deal with the situation is metta. Loving-kindness to the parents, karuna for myself and the understanding that I don’t need or even necessarily want to be deeply enmeshed in the lives of others. I can’t quite articulate what I’m trying to say but, in a reality where there is no lasting self why try to befriend fizzle and capricious personalities when a truly noble aim would be to care for all impartially. After all, we have all been parents, siblings and children to one another side time immemorial so anything less is inauthentic.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Parenting, Theravada | Tags: friendship, parents, school

Posted by: Michael | 10/29/2015

Humility

300. Humility means humbleness of mind and being unassuming in manner. A person possessing it has put away pride and arrogance, he resembles a foot-wiping cloth, a bull with its horns cut off, a snake with its fangs removed. He is gentle, cheerful and easy to speak to.

Paramatthajotika 144

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Posted by: Michael | 10/28/2015

Practice in a Minefield

This morning started off normally enough and I spent the majority of my formal morning practice in brahmavihara cultivation. I then woke the kids, for them breakfast, made lunch for them then took my own shower. Sometime around this my wife woke up.

As I was preparing something my wife reminded me to help my daughter practice piano in the few minutes before we had to go. Despite my misgivings that this was not the time to do so and my desire that she, too, learn to help her I went ahead and staying helping her. The music room is right by our downstairs bathroom where the cat’s litter is kept and, standing there I knew it desperately needed to be scooped. So, while scooping the foul mess I hear my wife screaming at me, asking me what I was doing. Now, here is where it gets difficult: I engender thinking to myself that I shouldn’t get mad so I thought I nipped it in the bud. But, as I climbed the stairs with a bag of urine and excrement in my hands she continued with the diatribe.

At that point I must have lost my grip because after asking her if she knew what I had been doing and being ignored I then held it close to get gave and said “I was scooping the litter. ” According to her the bag hit her in the face with obvious results.

So, my question is this: how can I prevent such things from occurring when I think I have them under control in the first place? Truly the householder life is mid in difficulty and as dangerous as a move field for the unenlightened.

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: household, lay life, marriage

Posted by: Michael | 10/26/2015

Empty things make noise

299. Learn this from the waters;
In mountain clefts and chasms,
Loud gush the streamlets,
But great rivers flow silently.

Empty things make a noise,
The full is always quiet.
The fool is like a half-filled pot,
The wise man like a deep still pool.

Sutta Nipata 720-721

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Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: contentment, humility, Peace

Posted by: Michael | 10/25/2015

Nidukkha Hontu, Sukhita Hontu

I mentioned yesterday that I was working with metta and karuna on the breath while walking crosstown and I believe that it was part of the reason that is able to meet the woman and her children with love and generosity. Interestingly enough, I almost continued walling by when I first heard her plea to the woman on the sidewalk but something, maybe the parikamma or meditation words, pulled me back.

Why am I bringing this up again? Probably to prove to myself that the technique is useful and it is worthwhile to continue. So what is it that I’m doing? In short, when I’m devoting attention to the brahmaviharas, I breath in thinking “Nidukkha Hontu” and out “Sukhita Hontu”. So, on the in breath I am wishing that all beings be free from suffering and contemplating hope they may be suffering while on the out breath wishing them happiness.

Simple sounding but it is funny how the mind rebels even when you try to give it what it says it wants.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Karuna, Metta, Theravada | Tags: compassion, Happiness, loving-kindness

Posted by: Michael | 10/24/2015

The Gift of Giving

Walking crosstown to pick up some supplies for my step mother visiting from Jamaica and working with the breath as the vehicle of compassion and loving kindness when I happened to hear a woman begging for help to feed her two children who were with her. There was another woman who had stopped first and stood there listening to her tell her story. Her young boy sitting in the stroller had only a jean jacket on and it was clearly not enough for today let alone for the coming winter. So, when she mentioned she had wanted to but goon a jacket at the Children’s Place I immediately volunteered to do it.

Suffice it to say that she got the jacket and made my day at the same time. Because the other woman had wanted to split the cost I suggested she buy some socks or something instead so the kids got a little more than they would have otherwise.

I am so thankful to have been reminded of the gift of being able to give. May I never again forget it.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dana, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: charity, generosity, giving

Posted by: Michael | 10/23/2015

AFL – Acknowledge, Forgive, Learn

Have you every been close to doing something wrong, to breaking a precept but, fortunately, found you were unwilling to do so? I have, time and again, and despite the fact that I could see the occasion as a chance to take joy in the power of my sila, the very fact that I arranged circumstances to bring me to that point leaves me wracked with guilt. Let me be clear: no precepts were broken but I could have made better decisions that would have kept me from enduring into any questionable situations.

But, as we all know, there is never an end to “shoulds” or “woulds” so what is left is to AFL it. Acknowledge that it was unskillful, forgive myself completely and learn how not to do it again.

I have to give Ajahn Brahm credit as the source for this handy abbreviated version of self-directed brahmavihara practice and would stiffest that anyone unfamiliar look him up and listened to some Dhamma talks.

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Sangha, Sila, Theravada | Tags: afl, ajahn brahm