Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 10/28/2015

Practice in a Minefield

This morning started off normally enough and I spent the majority of my formal morning practice in brahmavihara cultivation. I then woke the kids, for them breakfast, made lunch for them then took my own shower. Sometime around this my wife woke up.

As I was preparing something my wife reminded me to help my daughter practice piano in the few minutes before we had to go. Despite my misgivings that this was not the time to do so and my desire that she, too, learn to help her I went ahead and staying helping her.  The music room is right by our downstairs bathroom where the cat’s litter is kept and, standing there I knew it desperately needed to be scooped. So, while scooping the foul mess I hear my wife screaming at me, asking me what I was doing. Now,  here  is where it gets difficult: I engender thinking to myself that I shouldn’t get mad so I thought I nipped it in the bud. But,  as  I climbed the stairs with a bag of urine and excrement in my hands she continued with the diatribe.

At that point I must have lost my grip because after asking her if she knew what I had been doing and being ignored I then held it close to get gave and said “I was scooping the litter. ” According to her the bag hit her in the face with obvious results.

So, my question is this: how can I prevent such things from occurring when I think I have them under control in the first place? Truly the householder life is mid in difficulty and as dangerous as a move field for the unenlightened.


  1. Oh gosh…an all too familiar scenario. So much happens in our own minds. And we give our thoughts so much weight. It becomes difficult when we can see this tendency in others and wish that they too had the fervent desire to awaken for the benefit of all. It becomes so difficult to be the bigger person all of the time, to be the compassionate Buddha when everyone around you is being so demanding. Truly it is the path of a warrior. I feel your pain.

    • Thank you Loren! Be well.

  2. dear friend, our whole life a escape…nobody really is sure what just triggers the pain…the hurting feelings what direct results in anger and hatred…then we punish us or others….
    try to avoid too much last minute duties and learn to say NO early….

    practise is working drop by drop
    have a peaceful day


    • Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

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