Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 12/11/2015

Sickness in Health, Death in Life

345. Now, on one occasion, the Lord, having arisen from his solitude towards evening, was seated warming his back in the westerly sunshine. Then, Venerable Ananda came to see the Lord, and while rubbing his limbs with his hands said: “Strange it is and wonderful how the skin of the Lord is no longer clear and translucent, and how all his limbs are slack and wrinkled, how his body is bent forward, and how his sense faculties and body have changed.”
“So it is, Ananda. Old age is inherent in youth, sickness in health, and death in life.”

Samyutta Nikaya V.217

Shared via Buddha Vacana for Android
http://www.buddhavacana.net

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Maranasati, Theravada | Tags: age, death, health, life, sickness, youth

Posted by: Michael | 12/10/2015

Blame

I have to admit that I am feeling unjustly blamed by my wife for being unsupportive of heart during this time of grieving. Knowing that there is no final arbiter of interpersonal discourse I am able to see that this is my kamma.

It is impossible to change her mind although I can do my best to hear her complaints and criticisms and try to be more supportive of her in ways that she can appreciate. But, at base, all I can really do is try to respond in a way that will not create further pain and suffering for myself and others in the future. And although I don’t know what that means in the broader sense I do know if means watching my mouth, restraining myself from acting out of anger and resentment and doing my best to remain kind, open and sympathetic to get pain despite the fact that I have become the object of her hatred for not being loving enough, sensitive enough, supportive enough.

May she be free from her pain and suffering! May the dew of the Dhamma be as a salve to her wounds.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Dukkha, Forgiveness, Metta, Theravada | Tags: Blame, grief, insensitivity, suffering

Posted by: Michael | 12/09/2015

Keeping Guard

For as many successes I have enjoyed these last few weeks I have also experienced minor setbacks. Take this morning for example: knowing how fraught the mornings can be preparing the kids for school I was watchful and ready to face down any anger or ill will but once I got out the door I lost my bearings completely.

The first hint that I had left go of metta was when we were stepping of the train and a younger man stood blocking the way. I think this is a special part peeve of those of us in NYC who use the trains daily but I was righteously indignant that he couldn’t wait for myself and maidstone get of before pushing his way in. I caught myself and mentally asked forgiveness from him for my ill will add we walked up the stairs but I had lost my mindfulness by that point. The next incident happened as we crossed the street and it appeared that a few cats wanted to run us down rather than wait for the light. This time I actually said something to the effect of “What? You want to run over my kid!?”

Clearly these are minor defeats but can’t be overlooked. May I remain steadfast in mindfulness of loving-kindness and may I learn to be harmless to all beings.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Abyapajjo homi, Anigho homi, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Metta, Theravada | Tags: anger, harmlessness, loving-kindness, mindfulness

Posted by: Michael | 12/08/2015

Small Victories

It appears that I am going through a somewhat dry period in terms of reaping the fruits of concentration but all is not lost. Despite not being about to enjoy more than a few fleeing moments of samadhi during breath meditation, I feel that my metta practice is at least making deeper grooves in my habitual tendencies and I find that the mind first goes to thoughts of loving-kindness even when it awakens or is under assault. No small feat given how my wife’s grief is being partially channeled into anger with me for my past and present failings.

So, dry as it may seem I intend to keep up the practice which entails repition of the phrases or a single phrase of I feel the need to work more intensely on something. May I not lose heart and may I reflect on small victories such as this.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Metta, Theravada, Zen | Tags: loving-kindness, mind training, reflections, reflective

Posted by: Michael | 12/07/2015

May the Buck Stop Here

In case you’re not familiar with the idiomatic expression the title of the post means more of less “may this situation end here.” I this case in particular, I’m talking about anger, ill will and aversion one picks up from others. Whether it is a loved one lashing out from the depths of their own grief, a colleague looking to place blame for a problem at work or a stranger who gives a dirty look or says something unkind, may I not pass on the suffering. May I remember the advice of the Lord Buddha in the Simile of the Saw and may I look upon all beings with sympathy and compassion. May the buck stop here.

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddha Vacana, Buddhism, Dhamma, Karuna, Metta, Theravada | Tags: compassion, simile of the saw, sympathy

Posted by: Michael | 12/07/2015

Our Cat Died

Yesterday morning my wife woke up to find out cat dead under the table downstairs. I was in the bathroom at the time and was roused by the weakling if my five year old daughter and wife. I fished up and rushed downstairs to find Lakota’s rigid corpse, eyes wide, mouth open in a death mask. As always or was her and yet not. The body was there but she had delays some time before as the cancer ravaged her body. And, as hard as it was to see, I knew we had done the right thing.

We all must die and I think it’s important for all of us, especially children, to see that it is the natural outcome of life. I doubt my kids will soon forget what they experienced this weekend and I hope they learn to not only to cherish life but to see death as a natural result.

3 Comments

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Maranassati, Tibetan Buddhism | Tags: death, death contemplation

Posted by: Michael | 12/04/2015

The Taint of Ill Will

For days now my wife has been having a hard time dealing with the impending loss of our cat. For whatever reason I am not experiencing the same depths of suffering but I have been trying my best to do whatever is needed to give her space and time to deal.

And yet there is still this feeling of mounting irritation and ill will that I don’t quite understand. Yes, some of it has to do with the extra burdens I am taking on to make this space but it feels like much of it is baseless. Sitting on meditation I get glimpses of this heat and agitation in the center of my chest that sends to be anxiously awaiting an opportunity to strike out. And, to make matters worse, the moment I do or say anything to my wife that seems to be lacking in compassion she calls me or and asks what I practice for. Why do I meditate do much if I am still such a hateful person?

I honestly don’t have much to say except that is exactly why I practice: to overcome the anger, hatred and ill will. I can at least see the senseless seething aversion clearly enough to know that I don’t need or want to follow those impulses, regardless hour strong they are or how painful it is.

May I be free of anger.
May I be free from irritation and ill will.
May I be free from the taint of aversion.

2 Comments

Posted in Abyapajjo homi, Anigho homi, Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Karuna, Metta, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: aversion, hatred, ill-will

Posted by: Michael | 12/03/2015

Our Cat Is Dying

My wife called in tears you say that our sixteen year old cat had taken a turn for the worse and had not moved all day long. The cat lives with her parents now and her father took the car to the vet who repeated the standard advice which is to put her down to prevent get suffering. I know they mean well and I understand that all of our family and friends advising us to do the same only want the best for the cat but how can it be anything other than killing?

In a world where suffering is unavoidable how can we think that ending the life of another being is the right thing to do? Sure, from our myopic perspective it may seem to bring the pain to an end but how can we know the betting we have euthanized had not now passed on into worse states? Surely, we suffer less in the present by having rid ourselves of the sight of the dying one but that doesn’t make it right or skillful.

May Lakota be free from pain and suffering. May she obtain a favorable rebirth and may the Dhamma.

2 Comments

Posted in Dhamma | Tags: euthanasia, killing, mercy killing

Posted by: Michael | 12/03/2015

An Island

336. Be an island unto yourselves, be a refuge unto yourselves, take for yourselves no other refuge. Let the Dhamma be your island and refuge. And how does one do this? Concerning this, one dwells contemplating the body in the body, feeling in feeling, mind in mind, and mental objects in mental objects – ardent, clearly conscious and mindful – having put aside the attraction and repulsion of the world. And those who live like this now and after I pass away will attain the highest, but they must be anxious to learn.

Digha Nikaya II.101

Shared via Buddha Vacana for Android
http://www.buddhavacana.net

Leave a Comment

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: ardent, refuge, satipatthana

Posted by: Michael | 12/01/2015

Boy Scouts and Buddha Dhamma

Technically I should have entitled today’s post Cub Scouts and Buddha Dhamma but I’ve always been partial to alliteration. My son had been wanting to join the scouts for some time and my wife finally found a troop nearby and took him a few weeks ago. For whatever reason I now find myself in the position of lead parent here and have had to do some reading and writing in order participate.

One background check and safety training certification later and we’re off to figuring out how this whole thing works. My son is of age to be a Wolf rank scout and one of the things he needs to complete to move up is a badge called Duty to God. In case you weren’t aware, the BSA is a quasi-religious organization with a theistic bent. Now, I actually like that it emphasizes morality and the development of virtues but the God tub seemed to be a real stumbling block at first. But, upon further reading, I discovered that they allow you to fulfill the requirement according to your own religious beliefs. We could have gone with Islam but since I’m the lead on this we choose Buddhism.

I have sent in the application to begin the process for him to get his Metta Badge and I am interested to see what it will entail.

6 Comments

Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Theravada | Tags: Boy Scouts, BSA, Cub scouts, metta Badge