Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I got into a discussion with a friend tonight about something she posted on Facebook. The meme said “If sometimes makes you happy, make them happier,” a sentiment with which I think we can all agree. However, she prefaced it with a commitment that, despite your best efforts some people refuse to be happy.

There’s a lot going on here but my point and opinion is that we should nourish ourselves on the fruits of our own kindness, generosity and equanimity regardless of how or whether they are received by another party.

Her response was that to do so, with the knowledge that the receiver will act in bad faith, only encourages them do continue to do so. In other words, we are encouraging them to take advantage of us.

For some reason, as I write this, I am reminded of the Vepacitti Sutta and it seems like the position of my friend is the one advocated by Matali. I will end tonight’s post with this excerpt:

[Matali:] This very forbearance of yours, Sakka, I see as a mistake. For when a fool reckons like this: “From fear of me he does forbear,” The dolt will come on stronger still — Like a bull the more that one flees.

[Sakka:] Let him think whatever he likes: “From fear of me he edoes forbear.” Among ideals and highest goods None better than patience is found. For surely he who, being strong, Forbears the ones who are more weak — Forever enduring the weak — That is called the highest patience.