How often have I spoiled an occasion by immediately chasing after the next desideratum without even pausing to give thanks for that which I have already received. I would like to blame my misapprehension of the Lord Buddha’s exhortation not to be attached to anything but we can see how quickly that falls apart: the Lord Buddha never recommended we follow the infinite forms of craving and that is precisely what I’m doing.
I keep coming back to the ideas of appreciation, contentment and gratitude because I feel a marked absence of these qualities in my heart. In fact, my mind is disposed to complain at all times even if I am successful in keeping complaints from dribbling out of my mouth. Even now I feel an internal wail of desperation rising up within me; a desire to surrender to being lost, hopeless and craven. And, yet…
At least I have the teachings of Lord Buddha to set out right from wrong. At least I have the writing of sages and wise men and women to keep nudging me back in the path. Just because I can’t yet see how the path will arrive at the destination doesn’t mean that it will not. I may not understand how to practice contentment or gratitude but I will keep trying, experimenting and aspire to it. As Lord Buddha said in the Dvedhavittakka Sutta:
Whatever a monk keeps pursuing with his thinking & pondering, that becomes the inclination of his awareness.
-MN19
So, I will keep pursuing, thinking and pondering on gratitude.
Every good blessing to you!
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
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