Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been experimenting with a physical, mental and spiritual conditioning routine that goes heavy on the the first two (physical and mental conditioning) for five days of the week and includes two days of rest. This week those days turned out to be Friday and Sunday. I have yet to decide if that is going to be a regularly scheduled event (it seems likely it will) but it is clear that I need days of rest.

So clear, in fact, that I have spent most of the day (after helping pack up my dojo into storage) lounging and sleeping intermittently. I am thankful to be able to rest in the absence of my children and wife while simultaneously feeling guilty for such a pleasure.

What is strange and a definite source of dukkha is this drive to “do something productive.” Whether that means training to in martial arts, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, reading up on survival medicine or to meditate. This drive to use my time constructively seems to be a source of suffering in itself when not carefully directed. Perhaps by channeling it correctly towards the development of skillful qualities I can take kama-chanda and turn it into dhamma-chanda.

Suffice it to say, however, that to truly rest is a skill I still need to develop.