Posted by: Upāsaka | 11/13/2019

Out of Control

My wife’s jobs as a doula and now midwife are such that she is called away with little notice. At most, she has a day advance warning that something is afoot. Unfortunately, or fortunately, one of my biggest challenges is dealing with interruptions to my schedule and, despite my best efforts, I have been able to do little more than stifle my outward reaction. She noticed I was displeased that my day was abruptly uprooted and rearranged and didn’t take it well. Of course there was consternation and screaming.

But, despite knowing how irrational my displeasure was I wasn’t able to feel differently. I told her I didn’t intend to say a word about it but she wanted me to “feel okay” with it too. Even taking full responsibility here doesn’t seem capable of resolving this issue but my dis-ease with a world that operates with sheer disregard for my own schedule is something I need to work on for myself as much as anyone else.

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