Posted by: Upāsaka | 11/11/2019

Stingy Hearted

My hour long morning sessions have been pretty horrible in terms of collecting the mind. The only objects that seem to work for any length of time are the brahmaviharas and death recollection. So, I cycle through Buddho, brahmaviharas and maranasati again and again.

One thing that struck me this morning was how resistant the mind is to mudita. People for whom I have no problem mettā yet present real difficulties for appreciative joy practice. Clearly this is a problem in my own mind and has little to do with them. In fact, I could almost hear the plaintive cries of my ego lamenting about how unfair it is for another to have blessings that I don’t. It is a meanness and stinginess off heart that surprised me.

I figure the only way to do anything Scott it is to work with it so I hope to regularly do so during morning practice.


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