So often, whether it’s with friends or family. I find myself in a position to complain about things nd, especially, my marriage. Whether it’s my step-mother my best friend or even my wife’s family, I all too often get involved in criticizing behaviors that are unpleasant to me or validating the fault-findings of others who are displeased with her behavior. But, what does all this amount to really? micchāvācā or wrong speech for sure and a hardened, black heart.
Rather than complaining, what might it look like, how might it feel to refuse the impulse? To immediately change perspective and view the situation in the light of death? In the light of the greater sufferings of other beings?
So, someone spoke to me harshly — will I not live, have I been mortally wounded?
Someone isn’t giving me the affection I (for some inexplicable reason) think I deserve. Do I really think I can command the love and kindness of another? Would I want to if I could?
I hope to be able to quickly redirect my internal dialogue that wants to complain and bemoan my fate by reflecting on the sufferings of those who are less fortunate both in the human realm and the apaya loka. Even more importantly, I hope to be able to quickly do the same in conversations with friends and family. If someone wants to offer me sympathy may I remain without complaint and point to the myriad unbearable sufferings of our mother beings.
May all beings be free from suffering.
May all beings meet with the Dhamma and have the fortune to understand and practice it.
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 
I had something more interesting to say, but password dissonance lead to its demise. So it goes.
Peace and love to you, Mike.
my best
By: jonkot on 09/02/2019
at 12:23 pm