Posted by: Upāsaka | 09/01/2019

Uncommon Opportunity

Things have gone from bad to worse, in a sense with my wife. There are no interactions with her that are pleasant or easy. When she was still away with the kids I told her after a particularly nasty episode that I intended to interact with her as little as possible when she returned. She certainly took this to heart has been basically giving me the could shoulder in between bouts of explosive criticism.

But, what did I expect? I told her I wanted limited contact and she has given me that. And, yet, I’m still unhappy? Clearly this is a failing on my part, not hers. I still somehow believe that my happiness depends upon someone else doing what I want. How foolish of me but such a hard habit to break.

I almost put myself in a bad position today and this is why: she likes to throw myself out. I mean, literally out of the apartment and into the hall when it’s not in a place she wants it. My daughter had brought my yoga mat upstairs and left it in the living room. My wife asked me why it was there and I replied I didn’t know. Next thing I know she’s throwing it out the door with my duffel bag full of my kickboxing stuff. I told her (this is where my stupidity begins) that I would throw her laptop out.

I went and got my things and walked back  in the house. She was attempting to block me but my body language was such that I must of intimidated her because she started saying that I was going to assault her or some such silliness.

Next time I’ll buy my peace with whatever she throws out the door and calmly get it back. No threats of reciprocation. No reaction. Almost every day I recite the ten paramis in Pali and yet I throw my patience out the door at the first opportunity to practice. Yes. It is difficult. No. I don’t believe I would have chosen this but how else would I get a chance to practice? What normal person what throw your things out of a place because they didn’t like where it had been placed? If this happened in an office or school they would be fired. So, I really do have a precious and uncommon opportunity.

 


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Categories

Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Practicing the Dhamma-vinaya in the context of a full-blown lay life.

STOIC ANSWERS

ACTUALLY LIVING

Professional Awesome Racing - Time Attack and Downforce Specialists

RACE.WIN.REPEAT. | Text or Leave VOicemail at 765-267-8567

Centro Studio Misteri Italiani

Tradizioni Magico-popolari, Stregoneria Italiana, Miti e credenze, luoghi misteriosi, ma anche Druidismo e Sciamanesimo nel mondo. Cosa c'è di diverso dagli altri siti? Noi li studiamo RICERCANDO sempre sul LUOGO!

*luz de atención constante*

En este blog encontrarás una cuidada selección de traducciones en español sobre el camino interior.