Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I have been feeling that my spouse’s criticism, contempt and negativity have taken to all new heights and I just haven’t been up to the task of dealing with it. Some part of me must believe it for it to hurt so badly and, what I think is making it all worse, is the fact that I believe I should be able to take it and that it’s my duty to remain open. In desperation I began looking online to find ways to handle contempt and criticism and ran across the following:

2. Require an attitude of mutual respect as a foundation for any discussion. In a court of law, the procedural rules must be followed before the merits of the case can be heard. In relationship, the procedural rules require that both sides listen to the other person’s feelings and opinions respectfully. If the other person persists in showing contempt, suggest having a discussion in the presence of a counselor or mediator.

https://www.sowhatireallymeant.com/articles/conflict/criticism-and-contempt/

It seem so simple but this is going to be my new approach. Unless there is an attitude of mutual respect, there will be no discussion. It’s hard enough dealing with a person day in and day out who shows nothing but resentment and anger but its cruel and gratuitous to insist that I remain open to insult.