Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Kodhavagga · Gātha 227

Porāṇametaṃ atula netaṃ ajjatanāmiva
Nindanti tuṇhimāsīnaṃ nindanti bahubhāṇinaṃ
Mitabhāṇimpi nindanti natthi loke anindito

Anger · Verse 227

This, O Atula, is an old saying; it is not one of today only: they blame those who sit silent, they blame those who speak too much. Those speaking little too they blame. There is no one who is not blamed in this world.

English translation by Ven. Narada Maha Thera. For free distribution only.

My wife came home in tears today because of criticisms she’s received at her training hospital. I tried my best to help, telling her she doesn’t have to believe the criticisms of they’re completely off base and how she can use them to better herself is there’s some truth. I said that’s what I do with her daily criticisms of me and it keeps my head above water.

This may have been a bridge too far, however, because she said that my abilities to do so is indicative of the fact that I have a “chip loose” easyJet than a conscious strategy. The irony of responding critically to my attempt to help her deal with criticism was lost on her but I took that as my cute to stop offering unwanted advice.

Maybe she’s right that I have a screw loose but I can tell you that being constantly criticized never feels good. Still, I’m fortunate enough to have the tools to deal with it effectively and to turn it into a whet stone for my character. May blame least my wife to the Dhamma and onward to full enlightenment.