Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I’m adrift again. Although I have managed to keep up my mediation practice I am feeling disconnected from the Dhamma and almost hopeless. Strange, but I feel that the sudden detente I am experiencing with my wife has sapped much of the strength of my practice.

It is almost as if I was using the energy of aversion as fuel. No wonder it was so exhausting. Maybe I can work my way back to a more intense practice without using aversion to propel me. Of course, this too is uncertain but it’s worth a shot.