Cattāri Brahmavihārā

I don’t know why it is but even when I’m able to do 45 minutes of formal meditation in the morning I feel lately like it hasn’t left an imprint on my mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve been following Ajahn Martin’s advice and starting meditation as soon as possible after waking. Whatever the case may be though, one thing in particular needs to be asked: is it a problem that I don’t feel as though I’ve meditated?

Taking a moment to look at the question it’s not immediately apparent to me what it even means to say I’ve meditated. I think I mean that I feel at peace and clean but, on days when I don’t keep my brahmacariya pure it’s hard to tell what is causing this disturbance (like today). Another thing is that this feeling may actually be a good thing if it spurs me on towards further, more intense practice. In other words, is this something I should be attempting to change or is it simply something to be observed?

My instinct is to make my morning routine more formal in terms of refuges, Precepts and practice commitments regardless of whether it makes the practice seem more real. I have been putting off editing my booklet but I’ll do that today and observe the changes (if any) tomorrow.