Cattāri Brahmavihārā

65. Once, the Lord dwelt among the Sakyas in the Park of the Banyan Tree at Kapilavatthu, and while there, Mahanama the Sakyan came to him and asked: “How, Lord, does one become a lay disciple?”
“When one has taken refuge in the Buddha, the Dhamma and the Sangha, then one is a lay disciple.”
“How, Lord, is a disciple virtuous?”
“When a lay disciple abstains from killing, stealing, sexual misconduct, lying and drinking intoxicants, then he is virtuous.”
“How, Lord, does one help oneself but not others?”
“When one has achieved faith, virtue and renunciation, when one longs to see the monks, to hear the good Dhamma, to be mindful of the Dhamma once heard, when one reflects on it, knows it in both the letter and the spirit and walks in conformity with it, but one does not strive to establish such things in others, then one helps oneself but not others.”
“Then how, Lord, does one help oneself and others also?”
“When one has oneself achieved faith, virtue, and renunciation and strives to establish such things in others, when one longs to see the monks, to learn the good Dhamma, to be mindful of the Dhamma once heard, when one reflects upon its meaning, knows it in both the letter and spirit and walks in conformity with it and strives to establish such things in others, then one helps both oneself and others also.”

Anguttara Nikaya IV.219

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