Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 07/19/2014

The Perfect Mate

200. Once, while the Lord was staying among the Bhaggis on the Crocodile Hill in the Deer Park at Bhesakala Grove, the good man Nakulapita lay sick, ailing and grievously ill. And his wife Nakulamata said to him: “I beg you, good man, do not die worried, for the Lord has said that fate of the worried is not good. Maybe you think: ‘Alas, when I am gone, my wife will be unable to support the children or keep the household together.’ But do not think like that, for I am skilled in spinning cotton and carding wool, and I will manage to support the children and keep the household together after you are gone.”
“Or maybe you think: ‘My wife will take another husband after I am gone.’ But do not think like that, for you and I know that for sixteen years we have lived as householders in the holy life.
“Or maybe you think: ‘My wife, after I am gone, will have no desire to see the Lord or to see the monks.’ But do not think like that, for my desire to see them shall be even greater.
“Or maybe you think: ‘My wife will not keep the virtues in full.’ But do not think like that, for as long as the Lord has female disciples dressed in white, living at home and keeping the virtues in full, I shall be one. And if any doubt it, let them ask the Lord.
“Or maybe you think: ‘After I am gone, my wife will not have a calm mind.’ But do not think like that, for as long as the Lord has female disciples dressed in white, living at home, who gain that state, I shall be one. And if any doubt it, let them ask the Lord.
“Or maybe you think: ‘My wife will not win a firm foundation, a firm foothold in this Dhamma and discipline. She will not win comfort, dissolve doubt, be free from uncertainty, become confident, self-reliant, and live by the Teacher’s words.’ But do not think like that, either. For as long as the Lord has female disciples dressed in white, living at home, who win a firm foundation, a firm foothold, who have won comfort, dissolved doubt, who are free from uncertainty, who have become confident, self-reliant and live by the Teacher’s words, I shall be one. And if any doubt it, let them go and ask the Lord.”
Now, while Nakulapita was being counselled thus by his wife, even as he lay there his sickness subsided and he recovered. And not long after, he got up, and leaning on a stick, Nakulapita went to visit the Lord and told him what had happened. And the Lord said: “It has been a gain; you have greatly gained from having Nakulamata as your counsellor and teacher, full of compassion for you, and desiring your welfare.

Anguttara Nikaya III.295

I had intended to write about something else altogether this morning but when I read these words I couldn’t help but share. May we all seek to transform our marriages and relationships into Dhamma practice and thereby truly honor the ones we love.


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Shillelagh Studies

A hub for the music, culture, knowledge, and practice of Irish stick-fighting, past and present.