Posted by: Upāsaka Subhavi | 09/28/2013


It’s an interesting thing tis fatherhood. This Saturday, as every Saturday, my son had a soccer game. He loves soccer and is, for better or for worse, very good at it. Unfortunately, only two of his team shoed up today and, although it pains me to say it, neither of them are very good. Somehow, despite the odds they were able to tie in the end but that is not what troubles me.

No, the distressing thing about all of it was watching the movements of my mind. I swung between anger at the ineptitude of our coach, to disappointment at the lack of support my son got from his team mates, to frustration with the poor kid on our team who never seemed to know which way to kick the ball. And, to make things worse, I watched my ire raise with the comments of the other team’s coach. I see now how these events can get out of control and parents can react so aggressively.

So, how do I deal with this in a more skillful way? Empathy I suppose, as always. How would I feel if I were the parent of or the kid who didn’t know which way to kick? How would it feel to be completely unprepared to coach? How would it feel to play against a team that was in complete disarray? It seems so logical and easy now but in the moment it escapes me completely. May I do better next time.


  1. dear friend in samasara, thanks very much sharing a very good example how we get trapped or entangled….its y o u r training as a meditator – only to watch, to observe…even to observe the father watching the game….you are not the couch, not the player, not the kid, ….if you identifies with whatever, you always will get in trouble….just watch; you are only the watcher, the observer….that all you know very well by your own…please don.t expect an perfect father, a perfect trainer, a perfect kid or a perfect day..May your life be happy and at ease. Theruwan saranai

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Teachings of Lord Buddha in the Pali Canon