Posted by: Upāsaka | 04/26/2013

De medicationem

I woke up from the uposatha in a horrible way. To describe how I have been feeling as simply “low-energy” would be an understatement. As a result I was slow in getting going and missed my window of opportunity to do my full 45 minute sit as my 2 year-old came and starting begging me for water at the 15-minute mark. From then until now it has been a struggle to get through the day’s tasks and even the thought of sitting in meditation was painful. Frankly, I’ve never felt quite this low before but I knew that I needed to do something so I finally convinced myself to do my 25 minute metta bhavana with little hope that it would work to ease the tension and fatigue. But, to my delight, it did–if only while meditating.

So, despite the low that I’m currently in and the fact that I feel like a cow with its skin flayed off because I seem to be uber-sensitive to everything right now, I can take comfort in the fact that I have developed my practice of metta bhavana and anapansati enough tp the point where it can serve as salve on my wounds. Of course, this won’t always be the case but even during those times when I can’t find solace in meditation I will always have the Dhamma as my refuge.

May the light of the Triple Gem shine on and guide us all to liberation and safety!

 


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