I recently broke one of my precepts and have been coming to terms with that as well as reaffirming that the only way out of this mess is to continue the practice and one day abandon such unskillful behavior once and for all. The talk by Ajahn Thanissaro below has proved immensely helpful in terms of framing remorse not as a strength but as a weakness. One can’t ameliorate wrong done simply because one feels bad about it. Furthermore, feeling bad doesn’t help us to give up the behavior in the future — in fact, it may only make it more likely. Wishing you all well.
The three-month rains-retreat seclusion of Buddhist Saṅgha concludes with the pavāraṇā (invitation) ceremony, which is in turn followed by Kaṭhina robe offering festival. It is a traditional ceremony and ancient custom mostly found in the Theravada Buddhist tradition. Today, the Kaṭhina robe offering is a large, annual festival where Buddhists get together and celebrate the day by offering monastics gifts, such as robes and alms.
Kaṭhina means “hard”, “stiff”, “difficult”, etc. The word Kaṭhina denotes a cloth offered to the monks annually after the end of the rains-retreat (vassāvāsa). It also refers to a wooden frame used by the monks in sewing their robes. However, the word mostly denotes the robe, cīvara in pali, known as Kaṭhina cīvara. The character of the material used symbolizes the cīvara, which is one of the four requisites of a monk. The Kaṭhina robe is offered to the monastic Saṅgha by lay followers. Apart from the lay followers, monks, nuns and novices also can offer to the Buddhist Saṅgha.
The historical background of the Kaṭhina robe offering is mentioned in the Vinaya Pitaka. While the Buddha was dwelling at JetavanaVihar in Shravasti, a group of thirty monks visited the Buddha after the three-month rains-retreat. The Buddha asked them about their retreat and noticed their worn out robes. It is said that at the time, monks used to wear sewn pieces of cloth collected from different places such as cemeteries, streets, rubbish-heaps, etc.To rectify this, the Buddha granted permission to celebrate the Kaṭhina ceremony with the following such rules:
– Only those who have successfully completed the rains-retreat can accept the Kaṭhina robe.
– The period of the offering is only one month, from the middle of September-October to October-November (lunar month), and contemporary Assayuja to Kattikā (full moon of the Buddhist month).
Cattāri Brahmavihārā 