There’s a book by Ven. Pema Chodron called The Wisdom of No Escape and, though I don’t recall ever having read it, I feel like I might have an idea what it’s about. Running from anything in life simply doesn’t work as one can’t escape one’s kamma. So, come what may I ha bed only myself to turn to and only myself to blame. May I always remind myself that I live in a world largely of my making and of I wish to find release it will on my be possible through the Dhamma of patience and the Eightfold Path.
No Escape
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Family Life, Khanti, Parami, Theravada | Tags: escape, pema chodron
Does a Cat Have Buddha-nature?
I’ve begun practicing with a teacher in the Korean Seon tradition and the use of kong-ans (koans) is one of their methods. During my interview with him yesterday I was quite quickly stumped by the following kong-an:
Does a cat have Buddha-nature?
Even if I put aside my own conceptual difficulties with the idea of Buddha-nature and just say that I’ve made an agreement with myself to provisionally understand it as the potential to become liberated I find myself stuck already outside of the kong-an and in the thicket of views. The teacher recounted the following joke as an example of how we might approach these kong-ans:
Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.
The mind immediately goes to red and fails to see the obvious right in front of it; i.e., that suspenders are meant to keep pants up. Only in this case, I fail to see the obvious answer. We’ve scheduled our next interview for the 1st of December so I have some time to work with this but I have to say I feel completely unmoored and out of my depth. And as scary as that that is I suspect it’s a good thing.
Sensitive to Suffering
It seems to me that so much of the home life, in my experience, it’s about suffering and forbearance. It’s easy to see how being a householder could easily lead one into lower states ere one nite to remain vigilant and carefully guard one’s precepts. Khanti parami is the one quality I often turn to at home but I’ve begun to be a little concerned about how I’ve been practicing it.
It feels that I’m somehow just grinning and bearing it. When the criticisms come I feel m myself withering under them while simultaneously wanting to strike back or at least clarify the matter. I want the opportunity to made the “truth” understood. In retrospect I can see what a listing proposition this is: the constant criticism is not actually meant to communicate anything other than a general sense of antipathy towards the world. I jus happen to be the most convenient target.
They’re is no changing this within the confines of our relationship so it really is up to me to practice with it while being sensitive to the suffering it causes me. Yes, I need to develop both fortitude and equanimity but along the way I must always be open to my own hurt.
What Is This?
One thing that I’m coming to appreciate more deeply about the Korean Seon lineage in particular is their way of directing us back to the direct experience of the present moment. I’m not confident about how this would operate when divorced from a grounding in the suttas/sutras but with that basis to proceed upon, it strikes me as a completely necessary step in the journey towards release.
Impelled on by what I perceive as boredom I can ask myself “What is this? Where is it felt in the body? Whose is this?” The answers arise as yet more questions. Yes, it feels safer to give the answer we’ve learned in the commentaries or from our teachers but what does it mean if we don’t give our own experience primacy? What is this?
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Dhamma, Seon, Theravada | Tags: direct experience, suttas, what is this?, who am I?
Setting the Intention
Last night as I was looking for a guided meditation on tonglen as a healing practice for others (my daughter has a couple of bites that have gotten infected) I came across an article by Lama Zopa Rincpoche. In it he specifically spoke about combining chöd and tonglen practice as a way of placating any unseen beings who might be helping to cause the issue which I found both useful and interesting but there was another thing he said which really hit home: whatever you do make sure that the intention behind it is to help others.
For myself, I can honestly say that, most of the time, my intentions are not clearly seen and are thus pretty selfish. How beautiful it would be to clearly know one’s intentions and to formulate them so that one’s every word, thought and deed were undertaken for the benefit of both self and others?
Who Am I?
Am I this thought passing away into darkness?
Am I this breath tickling this nose?
Am I this question, “Who am I?”
Am I the eyes that see?
Am I the scene that’s seen?
Am I the mind the perceives “Who am I?”
Coming from a Theravada background I want a categorical answer but when I think about it, it is obvious that even Lord Buddha dispensed with discursive reasoning; he directly grasped reality unmediated by concepts and language. In some ways, the hwadu and Seon in general seem to skip ahead to the end but it is refreshing nonetheless to remember that the 10,000 thoughts that pass through the mind are nothing but fingers pointing to the moon.
Practicing with Difficulty
For whatever strange reasons, I’m drawn to ascetic practices, or what might be considered ascetic in this day and age anyway. One thing that has always held me back in terms of fasting or other self-abnegatory practices is the simple fact that they, in and of themselves, don’t necessarily lead to liberation. Most people reading this will know the story of how the Lord Buddha tried and then abandoned self-mortification, teaching that it was not the way to release. And yet, he lived an austere life and allowed the dhutanga practices as well. Mr Weston had always been “Why?”
Now, I may not have the answer that he would’ve given but it seems to me that purposefully taking on difficulty is only useful in terms of training oneself to be unperturbed. So, this morning as I walked to the train, I made the asseveration that today’s real practice would not be the fat from food and drink, it would be to keep the mind bright and kind despite it.
As usual, the realization probably seems pretty mundane from the outside but it gives me a basis to proceed. May I undertake acesis in order to cultivate a mind not dependent on external conditions to prepare for death, hardship and strengthen my faith in the Dhamma.
Hwadu – Who Am I?
Thus when one takes up the hwadu, the paths of seeking via thought must be cut off, for even that without traces must be completely cut off. Here the hunting dog is compared to the function of recognition that discriminates and gropes for the tracks of various concepts and thoughts.The core of Ganhwa Seon practice is the investigation of the hwadu that cuts of the tracks of language and thought, and where these traces disappear, one becomes free and independent. The hwadu cuts off all the paths of thought of the meditation practitioner, and the body and mind become full with the heat of doubt, and finally it leads to the state when the levee of doubt breaks with a crash. This is not permitted and that is not permitted; negation is not allowed nor is affirmation. If one takes up the hwadu in this way, all of heaven and earth must become one mass of doubt. And so one must attempt to reach the situation where one can neither go forward nor retreat.One cannot consider the hwadu through recognition and thought. To consider it through thought is called ‘cleverness’. ‘Cleverness’ in Chinese characters is chihae (understanding through knowledge). On the one-pillar (entrance) gate of most Korean monasteries there are the words, “One who comes through this gate must not retain understanding through knowledge.” This has the sense of, “If you wish to come through this gate, do not use cleverness.” Each time we come through a one-pillar gate, we must get the meaning of these words. Not only when one goes through the one-pillar gate, but at any time and place, we should proceed in practicing with this meaning in mind.With the earnest mind, and not with the mind that considers and discriminates, one immerses oneself in the hwadu and becomes one with the hwadu, and finally when one has conquered the hwadu, one will obtain some news. In this way, as soon as one conquers the barrier of the patriarchs, one will likely become the lone hero of the world.Seon Master Wumen said,The great Way has no gate. The path is everywhere. If one bores through this barrier gate, you will walk independently in the world. (Wumen guan, Wumen’s Preface)
One Refuge
It never ceases to amaze me how quickly the pleasures of samsara will betray you. The moment I stray from my practice and commitments to enjoy the fruits of the home life I am tricked, robbed, beaten and left for dead.
May I give the Tisarana the place of honor in my heart and may I never abandon it.
Enough is Enough
I’ve been reticent to pull the plug but it’s becoming more clear everyday that continuing to be open and sensitive to an unending barrage of criticism isn’t helping me at all. Events were I to give the vendor of the doubt, the non stop fault finding had made it impossible for me to take anything the person has said to heart. Sadly, it has come to the point where I have to say enough is enough.
When contempt and negativity are the wellspring of another’s view of you, and once this has been made clear through time and repetition, it seems to me that the wisest thing to do is to let the stream of blame fall to the wayside. I feel badly that I am more or less cutting a connecting with this person but I have no choice if my own peace of mind is important. Doing so I may miss out on valuable information that could’ve been used to improve my behavior and it also precludes repairing the bond but, clearly, this would never happen when the other party holds me in such contempt.
I intend to do my best to fulfill my obligations and be over generous and self-sacrificing so that I may, hopefully, avoid causing more harm. May I use the pace of mind gained to practice for the benefit of all.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Family Life, Metta, Parenting, Sila, Upekkha | Tags: Communication, divorce, marriage, Relationships
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