Cattāri Brahmavihārā

Posted by: Michael | 06/21/2013

The Limits of What Can Be Done

Today I have been almost overwhelmed by my fears of not being able to make all of the ends meet in terms of my financial obligations again. For most of the day a silent panic has been growing in my chest, clogging my throat and steadily sapping the life out of me. It seems that I have been experiencing a lot of this lately and there is no simple way to get around it. In the final analysis it seems as if there is really only one sensible option: take what measures I can to remedy the situation and stop worrying about it after the fact.

May all beings be free from fear and grief!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Anxiety, fear, grief

Posted by: Michael | 06/20/2013

Graduation

My son “graduated” from kindergarten today which strikes me as weird because I don’t recall such a rite of passage when I was his age but it was a sweet ceremony if only to the see kids’ excitement.

I always feel slightly out of place at such functions because I’m unable to easily give them the solemnity that others seem to without a second thought. Furthermore, when my children are the ones performinng or being publically acknowledged, I don’t know quite how to express my pride and concern for them without feeling embarassed by my lack of humility. So, sadly, the entire experience becomes an object of ridicule as I hide behind a sense of humor and high-light the apparent absurdities which are rife in any ceremonial occasion.

What I am seeing now for the first time as I write this is not only am I trying to shield myself from my own feelings but I am also doing the exact thing from which I had hoped to escape in the first place: calling more attention to myself through my sly and witty observations (and, for all I know, I may be the only one who thinks them so). So, in the future I plan to refrain from this particular form of wrong speech and give the gift of rapt attention and mudita to those who are graduating or otherwise being recognized. There are people who make their livings being funny and they’re called comedians not dads. The next time I will leave the hmor to the professionals and try to be a more kind and caring father and adult.

May we guard our speech and use our words only to promote the peace and welfare of all beings!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Metta, Mudita, Parenting, Sammā Vācā, Theravada | Tags: fatherhood, Humor, right speech, samma vaca, wrong speech

Posted by: Michael | 06/19/2013

Routine

If anyone has noticed from the late hours I have been posting they would see that I’m completely out of my normal routine. It just seems that the perfect storm of work and familial obligations has been relentlessly banging away at me for the better part of two months. And, although I have been trying to push through and keep to my bormal routine it just hasn’t always been possible. I guess I am just struck by how much a creature of habit I am and how much importance stability and routine has for my practice. it is a true blessing to be able to decide more or less freely how to spend one’s days and it is amazing how easily I forget the fortunate circumstances in which I find myself.

May we all remember our blessings and put them to good use by cultivating the Dhamma!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Gratitude, Theravada | Tags: blessings, gratitude, routine

Posted by: Michael | 06/18/2013

Rebellion

Today was yet another in a series of recent incidents with my employees where I have had to spend large parts of the day discussing their positions, responsibilities and duties as well as coming up with more creative ways of scheduling to meet both their needs and those of the company. It is a rough thing to realize that maybe not everyone is capable of being a CEO or rock-star and that some people really are better suited to positions which may not pay as well as we would like but are what the market holds.

Yes, this does sound harsh but I have now experienced a veritable mutiny on the part of three different employees (and, yes, it was the first who gave the others the idea that they were not being sufficiently compensated) who work jobs that require a GED and an ability to lift 35 lbs. as their only requirements. How do you explain to someone that this job just doesn’t pay the sums they would like it to? In today’s case I just cut their hours, removed some responsibility and told them I would be more than happy to provide them with references if the need to look for additional work on the side. I even told them they should go to school as a diploma isn’t going to give them the earning potential they need in NYC but still I can’t help feeling like somewhat of a tool. And this is the conundrum of the 1% isn’t it? I feel like I have worked and continue to work for what I have but it has come on the backs of many less skilled, less educated people. So, how can I help while at the same time making a living? I have no answers but I think that keeping this question in mnd is the best thing I can do for the time being.

May all beings look after themselves with ease!

Gatsby and the McJobs Rebellion (kansascity.com)
The Fear of God and Rebellion (kepagewriter.com)
Computer GED Higher Pass Rate (poynorae.wordpress.com)

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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Business, Employment, General Educational Development, New York City, The Girl Of My Best Friend, United States, Vocus, work

Posted by: Michael | 06/17/2013

Be Thankful for what you have in your life.

Heartbreak…

Endless Light and Love

A heartbreaking image taken in a orphanage in Iraq.

I came across this on one of my friends sites http://childreninshadow.wordpress.com/2013/06/15/362/ and I just felt compelled to share it with you.

May last three posts have been about peace and gratitude so this image seemed fitting to bring our minds back to the realities of this world and to allow us time to think about others less fortunate than ourselves.

Namaste

Mark

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Posted by: Michael | 06/17/2013

A Wadi in the Desert

I was just told a story by a friend of the family after we dropped our kids off at school. Somehow we had gotten on the topic of global climate change and all of the storms we’ve been experiencing. I related a story of family we have in New Orleans who lost everything in Katrina and she then recounted a her story of what happened to her father-in-law.
According to my friend, her father in law had retired and had a beautiful place on the water in Staten Island and a 40-foot sailboat to boot. Suffice it to say tha this gentleman lost everything in Sandy but it was an unexpected act of incredible generosity that made the story spectacular.

The story goes that shortly after Sandy the man was faced with the tremendous task of hauling out all of the water damaged property, furniture and various and sundry possessions from his house. Probably due to the enormity of the task he did not immediately get to it and so some time later a young, Mormon man in a pair of slacks and a crisp, button-down shirt arrived at his door asking if he needed any help hauling stuff away. The man accepted and so all that day the young Mormon helped to drag out water-logged rubbish. Before leaving he told the homeowner he would be back the next day. Of course the man was skeptical but he bid him farewell without high hopes.

The following day a flat bed showed and fifteen more Mormons showed up and got to work. After they cleared out his house they left and were never heard from again. There were no attempts to convert him. Nothing was asked in return. Simply the offer of profound generosity.

So, then, why is it so hard for me to take uncomplicated joy in their generosity? Why do I want to insist that their kindness is of a lesser order simply because it is not supported by Right View? I feel that there is something lacking in my own understanding that is preventing me from rejoicing in this act and others like it. What do these Mormons understand about kindness, care and compassion that I seem to be missing?

May we rejoice in the goodness of others as travellers lost in the desert rejoice when chancing upon a wadi hidden amongst the dunes!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dana, Dhamma, Gratitude, Karuna, Metta, Mudita, Theravada | Tags: care, compassion, generosity, global warming, karuna, kindness, Mormons, mudita

Posted by: Michael | 06/16/2013

Happy Uposatha – Happy Fathers’ Day

It is both Fathers’ Day and the uposatha and the fact that it is both would seem to provide a great opportunity for me to explore my own feelings about the holiday in a way I might not otherwise. But, let me cut to the chase: I find myself having to actively resist feelings of resentment because I am not receiving the same kind of treatment that my wife enjoyed on Mothers’ Day. There. I said it and it appears to me just as small-hearted and petty as I imagine it would to anyone else but it is the truth of my experience right now whether I like it or not.

So, what to do? Well, thankfully as a result of my practice and study, I am at least able to see that there is a choice. I can choose to either take it in stride and be an adult or I can choose to be a child and demand that everyone treat me (by everyone, of course, I mean my wife) as if I were deserving of special treatment by merit solely of my own virility.

Yes, one could say that such a facile argument misses the point and that the real point is that we, as a society, have agreed to honor fathers on this day and that failure to do so surely shows a lack of respect, love or fill-in-the-blank but how wouold that serve me or anyone else? Not knowing another’s motives and wanting happiness for myself most of all why not pursue a line of reasoning which is conducive to calm and peace?

May all fathers be well, happy and peaceful! May the soon attain the threefold bliss and realize the Deathless!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada, Uposatha | Tags: Buddha, Dhamma, Father's Day, resentment, uposatha

Posted by: Michael | 06/15/2013

Not a Drop to Drink

It is times like this that I am reminded of just how important to take advantage of those times when the practice seems to come easy. It is funny and somewhat infuriating to see the mind change so completely from week to week and even from to day to day-leaving one in a mind state which seems to bear little resemblance to those which immediately preceded it. Once more I feel as if marooned on a psycho-emotional sand bar in the midst of the ocean of mind states and it is all I can do to find even a drop of limpid and pure water to drink.

May we all strive on with ardency and make use of whatever situation in which we find ourselves as a raft to the further shore!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Parenting, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: anicca, Dhamma, impermanence, mind states, purity, striving

Posted by: Michael | 06/14/2013

Ensnared

Sometimes I truly wonder just how much hindrances such as kama are conditioned by celestial bodies because a new phase of the moon is almost upon us and I find myself struggling with sensual desire again. It seems to me that there is a definite, cyclic aspect to it although I would need to keep better track to be sure.

Anyway, it has gotten so bad as to disrupt my formal meditation to the extent that I ended up cutting last night’s session short and spending 20 minutes this morning on recollection of thr first five body parts. I know that simply entertaining lustful thoughts is a large part of the problem but once I let one in it is as if the flood gates have been thrown wide open and I am unable to close them again for some time afterwards. So, in the case where one cannot be certain of success (i.e., of being able to subdue the hindrances) it seems that samma vayamo consists almost exclusively in acting on the intention to squelch unskillful mind states. Now if only I could remember the crushing sense of impotence when these thoughts come calling again I might be able to make better choices.

May we see clearly the drawbacks of sensuality and never again be snared in Mara’s lures.

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Posted in Dhamma | Tags: Kama, lust, meditatiom, raga, right effort, samma vayamo, sensuality

Posted by: Michael | 06/13/2013

Punishment

I’m on the bus on my way back to Brooklyn for the second time today after having taken both kids there this morning and spent the morning working in a cafe while waiting for my daughter to get out of school. Why? Well, my wife is trying to begin a career as a doula but doing so makes life incredibly complicated and requires me to rearrange my schedule in order to make this possible. Needless to say, as the sole provider of our family, I am more than a little resentful and it shows.

The last twenty-four hours were rough having to handle the kids and juggle my work responsibilities but they were hard on her as well. So, when she woke up from her sleep and began complaining that I wasn’t listening to her while I tried frantically to get some work done I was in no mood for it. It eventually devolved into a full-blown melt down and it was only then that I realized that I was punishing her for the continued impingements on my time by withholding compassion and sympathy. Doesn’t sound very Buddhist does it? Well, I don’t think it is either but I’m not sure how best to react. Rational analysis of the situation doesn’t seem to shed much light on it but suffice it to say that, in the end, somethinng (pity, compassion, weakness?) Prevailed upon me and sent me packing back to Brooklyn and away once more from my work obligations.

And, while I don’t know what the best way to handle the situation would have been today I do know one thing: the ugliness and hard-heartedness I embodied today was something I would prefer never to indulge in again.

May we be free from cruelty and may we act out of compassion!

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Posted in Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Forgiveness, Karuna, Parenting, Practice at Work, Restlessness and Remorse, Theravada | Tags: compassion, cruelty, karuna, punishment