Today is Thanksgiving in the US and I figure I should take it as an opportunity to reflect upon the blessings of my life rather than play out the old and tired routine of the inveterate cynic. But, right now, it is hard to do so though I cannot figure out why. I have everything to be thankful for in terms of material possessions and I am infinitely blessed for having met with the Dhamma and yet I it is not enough. What folly and what blindness.
Posted by: Michael | 11/28/2013
Thanksgiving
Posted in Dhamma
Posted by: Michael | 11/28/2013
Pulling Out the Thorn
This morning has been full of feelings of irritation and, at times, rage for no discernible reason. Perhaps the greatest source of consternation for me this morning was receiving notification of a negative feedback on one of the marketplaces we sell on. What irked me was that we had bent over backward to meet the demands of the customer in question and they still felt the need to besmirch our reputation. Even now as I write it I can feel the flames of ire rising again so I had best get to the point: I realized that I was holding onto this little shard of ill-will for this person who I had never met and who was incapable of being harmed by my anger. All I was doing was grinding it into myself and causing pain to me. So, I wished him well and as I did I had the mental image of a thorn being removed from my flesh and there was a definite sense of peace and cessation if only for a moment.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Metta, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: forgiveness, metta
Posted by: Michael | 11/26/2013
Committed and Confused
A strong sense of urgency to practice is returning now that the effects of the most recent mundane crisis are wearing off but, precisely because I have been so busy, my mind is weak in discernment and it is difficult to choose the best way to practice now. I have becoome less of a champion of the “one method” or “one size fits all approaches” and have begun to incline towards whatever brings more softness and peace in the moment although I now find myself awash in confusion. Uncertainty seems to be the order of the day and every day in samsara for that matter. May we see cleary by the light of the Dhamma and may our faith in the Triple Gem lead us out of darkness.
Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Theravada, Tisarana | Tags: Dhamma, saddha, Tisarana, triple gem
Posted by: Michael | 11/25/2013
Change
The fact that we felt compelled to let our oldest employee go has been constantly on my ind since we did it on Friday. Strangely enough, as a result of his termination, I feel somehow less secure myself even though I am a co-owner. Why? Perhaps because his dismissal is incontrovertible evidence of anicca. There will be a hole in our company that will take time to fill and, even now, we cannot know the implications of our decision. May we all find true refuge and lasting happiness. May all of my merit be dedicated to him that he finds comfort and solace and the means to look after himself with ease.
Posted in Anicca, Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Dukkha, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: anicca, Employment, work
Posted by: Michael | 11/25/2013
Firing
This week marked the first time we’ve ever had to let go of an employee for no other reason than that their performance simply wasn’t up to par. What made it even more heart-wrenching was the fact that this person had been with us for years–longer than anyone else who had ever worked for us. And yet, throughout all of that time, he was never very good at the various positions we moved him into and out of. In short, he was loyal and dependable but never excelled and as his compensation grew it became ever more obvious that he wasn’t capable of doing the things we needed from him.
And yet, I am still ill at ease. In many ways I can’t believe we let this person go and feel almost as if we have sold our souls in the name of profit. But have we? This will take some time to get a better hold of as feel that I haven’t quite gotten over the shock of his firing yet either. I ask that you all keep him in your thoughts and, if you don’t mind, dedicate your merit to him.
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Posted in Buddha, Buddhism, Daily Practice, Dhamma, Practice at Work, Theravada | Tags: Business, Compensation, Compensation and Benefits, Fire extinguisher, Human resources, Job Growth, Twitter, United States
Posted by: Michael | 11/22/2013
Asseverations
Countless times have I made the resolve to restrain myself from anger and irritation and for every asseveration made I have soon enough broken my word. How amazing and dsheartening this can seem is hard to describe but I understand just how easily one can lose all hope and decide that the path cannot be trod in the midst of the household life.
Where does this leave me then? Well, it’s not as if there’s much choice in the matter, especially if I value my own happiness and well-being in the long term. It is clear that the Path must be walked if liberation from suffering is our heart’s desire so it really isn’t a question of “if” but of “how”. In short, my plan is to make this resolve to restrain myself from irascibility not solely in times of relative calm but to bear it in mind at all times and remind myself forcefully of my commitment in the midst of the flames. I do this not solely because I think it will help to quell the hellfire somewhat but also because I cannot continue to feel that I am a person of integrity when I make vows in security only to break them the minute the temperature begins to climb. Better to make them when I know what the stakes are than to simply daydream about them.
Posted in Dhamma | Tags: aditthana, anger, daily practice, irritation, resentment, resolves
Posted by: Michael | 11/21/2013
An Opportunity to See
This morning my wife awoke feeling sick. As the morning proceeded it became clear that she wanted me to take my son in to school even though I had not prepared to do so as I work from home on Thursdays. As much as it pains me to admit it I was irritated by the fact that she wasn’t able or willing to go as it would take two hours from my workday and require me to work on into the night but I was at least prescient enough to assent to go.
I can’t figure out just what disturbs me more about the situation. Yes, I am still annoyed at the interruption of my routine despite knowing better but what cuts deeper is the realization of how little I have changed and just how selfish I still am. As I quickly showered to get out the door I reflected on the fact that this cold could, in fact, be the cause of her death or the first signs of a serious sickness–thoughts which sobered me if only momentarily and helped me to carry on through irritation and resentment. I hate being such a jerk but it is so hard sometimes to really see that clearly. Yet, armed with the knowledge that irascibility and annoyance are never skilfull responses I can at least fight on through them even when blinded by aversion and delusion.
Avero homi. Sabbe satta avera hontu.
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Posted by: Michael | 11/20/2013
Unexpected Compassion
This morning as I prepared to sit for my routine session of anapanasati I had no real expectation or dread about what was to come. I formulated my intention to sit and then did just that. At some point, maybe ten or fifteen minutes in, the breakers of thoughts began rolling in with increasing intensity until the mind was completely embroiled in them. At that point I heard my littl son coughing and the thought of taking on his pain and give him my ease bubbled up. I followed it for some time, breathing in his pain and out my ease until it began to founder under the waves of restless thought. It was here that a flower of real concern tha I would call authentic compassion bloomed in my heart. I opened to the racing, anxiety ridden thoughts and truly wished myself well. It was was almost impersonal but it was a powerful recognition of the suffering there and, maybe because it was seen and acknowledged, it seemed to lose its hold on the mind.
I don’t quite know what to make of it but it seems to me that rather than sending a confectioned compassion to myself, open, acceptance of suffering worked to soothe and heal. Today’s experience has brought renewed interest and called into question my understanding of just how compassion as a brahmavihara works and the ways it is best cultivated.
Posted in Dhamma | Tags: acceptance, compassion, karuna, suffering
Posted by: Michael | 11/19/2013
Happy Uposatha – Gratitude for Everything
This Anapanasati Day I’m not observing largely due to a lack of energy and the exigencies of my job. I have, if you haven’t noticed, been in a funk now for months as a result of ever worsening financial issues at work but a trying hard to keep the correct perspective on the situation.
It occurred to me this morning that much of my low-energy and negativity has to do with my fixation upon all that is “wrong.” In short, by constantly keeping the shortcomings of my situation in mind and allowing the aversion to take up residence in my heart I have been cultivating a depression of sorts. But, what else is there to do in such a situation? What good does being positive do?
The idea of being positive in and of itself for no good reason seems to be folly at best but to dismiss the many blessings of our lives that coexist with the sufferings is just as foolish. So it seems the only skilfull response is to be grateful for all of the many blessings on the pathncluding the very suffering that has brought me to despondency. I see now why this realm is ideal to inspire a longing after liberation. May I not squander these gifts and may I ever remain grateful to my teachers, whatever and whoever they may be.
Posted by: Michael | 11/18/2013
Good Morning
This morning I feel slightly better than I have in days for reasons that I can’t truly discern. Nonetheless, the fact that I do it all got me thinking about anicca and how easy it is to forget just how precarious any state of well-being really is. In short, when things eventually get to be less stressful it is not as if it means I have reached a place of safety. It is literally as if I were a tennis ball out on the ocean open imagining that I could somehow stay forever on the crest of a crashing wave in the midst of a storm. Silly isn’t it? But, truth be told, I find myself wishing to be once more out of the trough and on the crest of the next wave rather than focusing my energies on getting to dry land and out of the water altogether.
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Cattāri Brahmavihārā 